Chapter 32

I heard the wall clock ringing outside, and I counted quietly. It was already late at night. I felt that I should go to bed, not continue to recall these sad past events.

I want to turn over and swing the thoughts in my mind, but I can't turn over

I suddenly realized that the idiot had fallen asleep, and it was the idiot who was controlling this body now!

I remembered what happened on the first day, and since then, I have never suffered from insomnia. I can always wake up with an idiot and have forgotten about this potentially interesting and dangerous situation. Now I am facing this situation again. I think, can I really not control this body?

I struggled, a little angry, focusing all my thoughts on my limbs and directing them to move, but they didn't move. I heard the wall clock ringing twice in a row. When, I knew that another hour had passed, I could not move any part of my body, and I couldn't even blink my eyelids, but my thinking was still clear and I still had no sleepiness. I had to admit failure and give up struggling, but I warned myself, "Don't think about it again, so as not to make any ugly things tomorrow, or make people doubt it." I was not an idiot at all.

But my memories seem to become particularly clear at this moment, and my thoughts return to the past. Although I have always wanted to drive it away, including counting constantly. Whenever I count to hundreds, my thoughts unconsciously return to the past. In the end, I had to let it go and flow with the flow of thoughts to the place it is willing to go.

I was just very relieved to think that my room had a door lock installed, and before I fell asleep, I was used to locking the door. The nanny knocked on the door and it would wake me up.

I remember that after school that day, I walked behind her, keeping a distance of five or six meters, and admired her slim back along the way, and my heart was filled with ecstasy.

At the turn in front, I saw her turn around accidentally and saw me following her. She accelerated her pace, and I accelerated her pace unconsciously.

She turned around frequently and showed fear in her expression. I realized that she thought I was following her, but she didn't know that what I was walking was the way home.

When we walked to our alley, she didn't walk through the back door. The back door was opposite the small garden, which looked deserted. Our alley was lively and there were always people coming and going. She thought I probably didn't have the courage to keep track of her to the door.

But when she pushed the door and walked into her house, she glanced back and saw me standing at my door, watching her in. I saw her showing a very surprised and complicated look. I believe that at this moment, she finally recognized me.

I did nothing on this day, just sitting in front of the window looking at the window opposite, hoping to see her lifting the curtains. Even in a short moment, I wanted her to know that I kept waiting for her, but until the lights on the opposite side went out and everything around me returned to silence. After my parents scolded me several times, I went to bed with depression, but my depressed emotions quickly disappeared. I thought that I could be with her deskmate again the next day, and with her deskmate every day, and my heart was filled with happiness. This was the first time I felt happiness.

The years after that were so fast that it was unbelievable and so happy that it was unbelievable

I look forward to going to school every morning. I will wait at the window and wait for her to walk out of the house. I will follow her. After school, I will follow her and walk home all the way.

When we were more familiar with each other, she blushed and said to me, don't follow her so close

I also blushed and said in a vain that I didn't follow her, I just walked along the way

She didn't argue, but just whispered, "Teacher, you must know that I always follow her and will change our seats."

I was ecstatic by this. I knew she was willing to sit with me.

Of course, she has no reason not to sit with me. I have always taken care of her. I have a good background and good schooling. I am a class cadre and the teacher likes her.

In addition, I play various games, such as the popular table tennis, the Four Kingdoms War, etc., and among my classmates, I am all first-class.

But she was not from a good background and had poor study. Of course, she was not stupid, but she was always absent-minded in class. She said that she was afraid of school and she was unwilling to go to school. She was late for the first time because she was sick, but because she refused to go to school. Later, she was forced by her parents and had to come, so she had to come.

During the Cultural Revolution, although academic performance was not important, there were still exams, such as Little Lai Li - we are still classmates, with good backgrounds, and it doesn't matter whether we are not good at studying or not. But she is a type of person who is often blamed, and anything may lead to criticism from the teacher.

Later I thought that the female teacher’s criticism was somewhat jealous and envious of her beauty; while the male teacher did not dare to show warmth to her, so he had to criticize her sternly - although there was only one male teacher.

The situation of classmates and teachers is similar, so she is very lonely in the class, and of course her personality is the same.

Because of me, her life is much better. I copied her homework and helped her cheat in the exam. At that time, it was not difficult to do these things. Many people were like this. Teachers often opened their eyes and closed their eyes. I often helped her block some pranks from her classmates.

Only Xiao Lai Lie was not satisfied with me because I no longer had to use him, so I started to alienate him. He made up stories about me and her. In fact, I was not disgusted with others making me up with her. As time goes by, others have already expressed jealousy towards me and beauty. However, our performance in school is basically not something that teachers can pick on. During class, we rarely talk to each other. At that time, chatting at the same table during class was the most common entertainment in the school. Our performance was much better than most people.

Although we are all worried about being separated by the teacher, what is more important is our personality. I love her too deeply and I am afraid of showing my heart if I say anything.

She was originally a showy person and was not good at dating boys, especially boys of my background.

So the dialogue between us is often extremely simple. I am actually very dissatisfied with this almost indifferent relationship, but this fabrication makes up for my inner flaws.

Like many nonsense at that time, it did not really attract the attention of classmates and teachers.

But what I was angry was that Xiao Lai Li mixed some dirty details of insulting her in the fabrication, such as seeing her taking a shower at home and wiping her body, which made me angry, but I couldn't turn against him for this. The consequences may be very serious. At least the teacher would be separated from the seats. This would be too much of a loss.

So I never defend her in front of others

Later I finally found an excuse and fought hard with Xiao Laili

It's not in school, but in the alley. I can't remember what it is. It doesn't seem to be a big deal. It's just in the game. It seems that it's a four-country war, and Xiao Lai Li cheated. In fact, he always cheated, but I took the opportunity to fight him hard.

Both of them had their noses and eyes swollen. Not only did they alarm the parents, but they also shocked the teacher. We fought without a chance. I can't fight, but he is a veteran, but I was like fighting that day, which surprised many people, but I didn't think about it.

But after she knew I was fighting the next day, she said to me, I don't want to see you fight, no matter what you are doing

I knew she guessed the real reason for my fight, and I whispered to her, I will only fight for you

She blushed, bit her lip, without saying a word, but her eyes showed disagreement and dissatisfaction

In fact, I have already felt her interest. For example, when I heard her classmates swearing, she always frowned and was far away. At that time, it was common for us to swear, but for her, I stopped swearing at all, including the dirty words that the locals blurted out, which disappeared forever in my mouth.

Of course I know she is more disgusted with fighting, but I thought she would be happy that I fought for her, but I was still wrong

After all, I can't really understand her heart

Our relationship can be said to be stable and there is no deviantness until one day she promised to watch a movie with me.

At that time, it was not uncommon for male and female classmates to watch movies together in middle school.

I had boldly asked her several times, but she kept refusing. She said that her parents never let her come out alone at night

For some reason that day, maybe she was in a low mood, or maybe she was having some of her parents' situation, she hinted to me that the Shanghai Cinema was playing "Sentinel under the Neon Lights", so I immediately asked her to go with her, and she also agreed silently

I've watched this movie in elementary school and don't like it, but I've got a deep impression on it

Because the song that Tong A-nan's girlfriend asked him to listen to was the song she often played at home that I never forget.

How I gave her the tickets secretly, how we walked into the cinema, how we pretended not to know each other and sat in our seats, I can't remember it, because I felt dizzy all day long, because I felt like I was dizzy all day long

I only remember when we were sitting in a dim cinema, and the cello-playing "Fantasy Song" echoed in the cinema, it only took about ten seconds, but we looked at each other, as if we had been looking at each other for the whole life. I boldly held her hand, but she did not refuse.

I asked her in a low voice, what is the name of the song?

She also whispered to me, Schumann's "Fantasy Song"

In the following time, none of us spoke or watched movies, we were immersed in our world

I stroked her hand, what a soft hand!

My heart is filled with a sense of happiness, and this feeling of happiness almost accompanied me throughout my life, although it always coexists with the sharp pain later on.

On the third day after we watched the movie together, she suddenly disappeared, and even the adults in her house disappeared because the lights in her house were no longer on

I waited hard, and when the lights of her house lighted up again, I was very excited, but I knew that the person living in it was already a stranger

Since then, her image has been permanently frozen in my memory, always accompanied by sharp pain, mixed with a hint of happiness, a hint of aftermath of the strong sense of happiness felt in the cinema. Although it seems insignificant compared to the pain in front of me, it is even more tenacious

When time slows down the pain, the feeling of happiness is sharper, piercing the night and pricking the heartache

I often miss her resentfully, but I still thank her deep down. I know that there are not many people in this world who can truly experience happiness, and I am one of them, although in the end, he was at the cost of heavy pain.