Chapter 11 The hair was blown away by the wind when you left

It's dawn, the birds are chirping, I'm awake

Next door lived a pair of lovers with strong sexual desire. The man was a student in a physical education department and the woman was a history department student. This was all told by Chen Chunlan.

After I sent Zhai Ji away last night, I returned to the hut. After a while, I heard the sound of girls moaning. They had tossed for a long time before they calmed down.

Just as dawn, I heard the girls shouting again, and their beds were also yelling, which was louder than the ones they made when moving.

I was a little impatient when I heard it, and I said loudly to the next door, "Damn, I said are you tired?"

I lay down for a while and then dialed the Rourou's phone number

It took her a long time to pick it up.

I said, I am Xiao Chui, when will you leave?

She said, where have you been? I'm going to wait for you for another half a month. If you still don't show up, I'll leave

I said, I'm back

She was talking on the phone while putting on the clothes, and I heard the sound of slippers walking on the ground

She said, I'll go find you right away

When the softness comes, the sun comes out

She didn't tie her hair, her eyes were still red

She pulled me up and looked at me, and didn't say anything

She saw the scar on my body, looked at it for a while and said, "What happened to you?"

I said, nothing is wrong

She reached out and touched the scars and asked, who did you fight with?

I put on my clothes, poured a glass of water and drank it all in one sip. I told her the matter from beginning to end

She said, you must love that girl named Zeng Zaimiao very much

I said, stop talking

I asked, when will you leave?

She said, I have completed my passport and can leave at any time

I said, oh

I looked at her and said, Good luck

She said, have you thought about it?

I said, what am I thinking about?

She said, are you going with me?

I said, I decided to stay on this land

She held her hair with her hands and breathed a sigh of relief and said, maybe the flight I took to crashed

I smiled and said, that's not your special plane, you have to think about others

She was silent for a while and said, "I want to give you a gift, what do you want?"

I said, I don't want anything

She said, then I want you to give me a gift

I looked at the decorations in the house and felt that I was as poor as I could

I said, I have nothing, just a few books, not worth the money

She said, can I take away the prose you wrote for me, the ones you published on the radio?

I went to search immediately, and found it soon

She said, I heard it all, Agui is a woman after all, and she can't read you. Can you read any article for me?

She said as she took out the walkman from her bag, put a tape on and said, "How about some light music?"

I sat on the chair, and I wrote a total of fourteen essays for her. I found the essay called "Eyes and Flowers" and said, I will read this shorter

Rourou looked at me and smiled, tears shaking in her eyes and said, OK

The music started to sound, and I started reading it, like an ordinary conversation, without any inspiring feelings

When I was writing these past events, it seemed like I had passed it again that day.

Memories make people realize that everything can be extended

Fortunately, before those prose were taken away by Rourou, I ran to the copy shop to copy a copy that I left behind. Otherwise, today I would not be able to find the prose in the book piles and record piles that I had worked hard to transport to Beijing. I found the prose I had read, and the prose that Agui had read.

Essays written to Rourou

People cannot hear the sound of Agui and I reading aloud, and I cannot hear it myself, so I copied the whole article below, let people associate it and read it out with their own voices, either cheerfully or melancholy.

(Author of "Eyes and Flowers": Fang Xiaocai see the full text below

The whole leaf in the rain

It's raining tonight, the rain is screaming, you are with me

If we had no house and no bed, where would we be?

Lying in the dark, listening to the rain hitting our windows

I will leave in a while and the window will become yours

The whole tree is in the wind

It was windy tonight, and the wind shouted, you are with me

From now on, the lamp looked at us and illuminated the night desperately

The light belongs to us

You think I'm leaving, you hold me

I leave again, the light is yours

In the wind and rain of the city, I walked past a tree and passed all its leaves

I'm walking towards you with difficulty, I know you are standing there, you are wearing gorgeous pajamas, waiting there

A bird jumped over the alley and stopped in the invisible nest. You stood, you had been waiting for a long time

A long time, if you didn't have time, you could wait for me for a thousand years. If I still didn't go, you could wait for me for ten thousand years.

But I know that time is in a hurry

It ran past everyone, expressionless, never resting

I want to welcome the dawn with you

But we stay at night again and again, separated at night, in the starry sky and the lonely earth

One day I clean up the house and I will look through the diary of the past. You stand at a corner of the diary and look at me with a smile

I looked through the diary and saw you hiding in your house, crying

Zixi, I may not be with you, I cannot grow old in the sunset, but I will always remember you, like a town full of weeds, the once prosperous streets and people in the town

I don't know where I will go. In this world, in the bright light at noon, I will miss you quietly over and over again.

I want you to know how much I cherish you, just like cherishing the cinder alley you walked through and the asphalt road you walked through

Zixi, you are a kite-like girl, when you float all over the sky of my life, when the flowers fall, when the figure gradually fades, I stretched out my arms, always here, and always holding you in my spring arms

Spring, spring is here

Flowers bloom, covering your clear eyes, covering your hands, and your pain makes me happy

How I run, how I see you covered by the night, how I find your transparent lips as water, kissing all seasons

Eyes, eyes, flowers, flowers, eyes - occupy my life, a dazzling dream like gold in my bones

"Eyes and Flowers" is over

On May 3, 2000, in the morning of orange in dormitory 123, No. 40 Pipa Street

When I finished reading the article, the music was still ringing, softly covering my eyes with my hands, and water was flowing out of her fingers

I walked over and sat beside her, hugged her tightly, took her hand away, I kissed her hand, the salty tears in the palm of my hand, kissed her tears, her cheeks, her lips

We stood up and hugged her tightly, she gasped and gurgled in her neck.

I took off all her clothes and took off all my clothes

I touched her soft and white body as cotton, her dancing breasts, my tongue rushing in her small belly button, my hand touched her knees, and walked repeatedly on her thighs, she began the familiar moan that made me unable to help but go crazy, shouting lowly, I sucked her earlobe, her whole ears and hair, licked her dazzling teeth, her round chin, I was wondering, why are we swallowed by time, it seems that there has never existed in the end

She grabbed the scars everywhere on my body, grabbed my strong and huge penis, and the little water spit out from the glans was applied to her legs

I used it to push her thighs, her clitoris, her wet labia minora, I wandered there for a long time, working, she shouted, Come in, I want to bring it and let it stop inside at all times... I entered her, and I couldn't control it, pressed her breasts with my hand, pinching the jumping nipples, I was worried that she would fly up, fly through the window, fly through this city, fly to the provincial airport, and then fly to any place outside China by plane, she will definitely fly to Canada, fly into Gao Dahui's window, and land on his bed

The soft hair spread on my pillow for the last time, her lips belonged to me for the last time, she opened it for me, shouted for me, her throat, and the last time she choked for me in orgasm

I pulled it out, entered her sideways from behind, lifted up one of her long legs, and fucked her for a long time. Her hands grabbed the sheet and grabbed everything she could hold onto. The desk lamp at the head of the bed fell to the ground with a clang, and the light bulb was broken, and the light bulb that illuminated my entire bed at night was broken.

I bleed through her third crazy trembling and shouting, we were cramping there, cramping in the last carnival

Rourou fell asleep in my arms, tears were still stained with her eyelashes. I stroked her long hair and looked at her, my tears also fell on her tender shoulders.

I hugged her and half lying on the bed. I remembered the happy nights we had, those rainy nights and starry sky, the first time she appeared in my life, my doubts about her, my long hair suddenly scattered when she ran towards me, and the song she sang for me in the hut.

All this will pass soon, and she will disappear in my life soon. I don’t know if I can see her again in this life, but I know that I will miss her, I will miss her crazily, my softness

I can't follow her, I have Zhai Ji, and there are more difficult things, and the most important thing is that I like this here-my China!

Maybe after I enter society and have a successful career, I will travel abroad. Maybe in a small town in Arabia or any country, in a small restaurant, on the edge of a street, I will recognize the softness of the past at first sight. Maybe we are all a little old. We are sitting in the snack shop next to the window drinking coffee and chewing steaks, remembering the past at Z University, and our love eyes in the past.

But it's all fantasy

Fantasy of actual things can become reality, fantasy of swaying things are destined to sway with the wind

The sun went west, Rourou had not woken up yet

Did she not sleep well last night?

She seemed to have dreamed of something, and she moved her mouth, grabbed me and shook it, so cute

I almost shed all the tears, only the eyes were left, the dry eyes were embedded in my eyes, and there were no tears, and the pain was only the expression on my face. I could not see this expression, if there was no mirror in the world

Rourou opened her eyes, she was already looking at me

I kissed her forehead and said, "I'm awake."

She said, I had a dream

I said, what do you dream of

She said, I dreamed that the plane took off, we sat together, and saw white clouds floating outside the window, I said to you happily, you are finally willing to go abroad with me

I smiled, didn't say anything

I said, are you going to Canada?

She said, maybe I just go there first and then go

I said, Gao Dahui won't let you go

She smiled bitterly and looked at me and said, Xiaochui, if Gao Dahui were not the person, would you go with me?

I said, no

She said, after I settle down in a country, I will call or write to you. If you are willing to go to me after graduation, I will still be waiting for you.

I said, that's what happened in the future, who knows

We were silent for a while, and I started to put on my clothes. I said, I'm hungry, please accompany me out to eat something, maybe Zhai Ji is coming here later

When she was wearing clothes, she said, "I know, the person you really love is Zhai Ji."

I didn't say anything

After she put on her clothes, she went to find a comb to comb her hair. She looked at me while combing her hair and said, "Can you ask you a question?"

I'll say, say it

She said, if the person who went abroad was Zhai Ji and not me, if Zhai Ji asked you to go with her, how would you decide?

I went to find shoe polish to polish my shoes, and I said, I would stay there too

She said, what's good about this place? People are poor and numerous

I said, I don’t think so, everything is changing rapidly, I like this land of China, there are many famous mountains and rivers I have not seen, and there are also beautiful girls from all over the world

Rourou said, OK, I cried, I loved it, I left!

We hugged and kissed in the middle of the house for a while, and I said, take those essays with you, go out and find a copy of the copy shop, I will keep it myself

We went downstairs, and Chen Chunlan happened to come out of the house and wash her hands before the water pipe. When she saw us, she greeted us enthusiastically, and she said, "Go out?"

I said, go out

She said that Fang Xiaochui's girlfriends are all so beautiful!

I said, you can shut up

Chen Chunlan smiled behind me and said, "Why, I will feel sorry for you if I praise you!"

I walked up and said to Rourou, this landlord is young and cheerful and loves to talk, aren't you annoyed?

Rourou said, I can understand what you have to annoy you. Who asked you to bring back so many girls? You are the same as Gao Dahui.

I chuckled and said, "You are about to fly away now, are you still quarreling with me?"

She said, whoever wants to argue with you, this is the last time I have entered this yard

I said, OK, I know you are not loyal to me

Rourou stopped and couldn't leave. She looked at me angrily, and tears were about to come down again. Let me say it again!

I said, OK, OK, I dare not

She said, you can't understand me at all

I said, what's the use of these, Ah, I'm going to part ways soon anyway

In a copy shop on the street, a chubby girl was taking a copy of my prose. She paused every time she opened a page. She looked at Rourou and said, "This is all written to you by him."

Rourou smiled and said, "Written to all the girls in the world, including you."

The chubby girl laughed and said to Rourou, it's so fun to talk to you

After copying, I handed the prose to Rourou and said, "Take this, I'll leave it to me."

Rourou asked the girl, do you have a pen here?

Is there any carbon ink?

The girl said, yes, I'll find it for you

I asked her, what do you want a pen and carbon ink for?

She said, let my talented lover sign me with my autograph, and the black ink will not blur the handwriting due to the erosion of time.

The girl found a pen, she took it and handed it to me and said, "Sign it."

I wrote it on the blank space on the first page of the prose text. Dedicated to Wu Zixian (Rou Rou) I am Fang Xiaochui. Today is October 21, 2000 AD. It's gone. She looked at it for a while and said, "I'll ask a few questions on it, and you can answer it with a pen."

I said, OK, please mention it

Rouru's handwriting is very straight and big. She wrote it quickly and it was finished in a short while.

The first question is mentioned in English, which is translated into Chinese: Do you love me?

The second question is: If you cannot answer the first question clearly, please do not write "I don't know". You can only write two answers: "Love" or "Don't love". If you can't answer, just leave it empty. Use a sentence to express your thoughts on the first question after this question.

The third question is: Will we meet again in the future?

The fourth question is: Do you like the name Rourou or my original name, or you like it or you don’t like it. Have you ever thought of giving me a name specifically for you to call me for the rest of your life? What name do you want to give me?

The fifth question is: How many girls will you fall in love with in this life? Will you completely forget me in two years?

The sixth question is: Do you like dogs or cats? Why?

The seventh question is: Is it a coincidence that you say that two people fall in love? Is it inevitable that two people will separate? Why?

The eighth question is: If you have a next life, do you still want to be a human being?

The ninth question is: Just fill in the name of a song you like

The tenth question is: Are the questions I asked very boring?

After Rourou finished writing these ten questions, he handed me the pen seriously and said, "It's your turn."

The chubby girl looked at us, looking a little confused

Rourou told her, we won’t disturb your business, right?

The girl said, write it, it's okay, there's no business now

After reading the question she asked, I began to lie on the desktop full of documents and books to answer with a pen

The first question

The second question: I have not lost you, so I have lost all my past

The third question: I don't know

The fourth question: The name doesn't matter. I haven't thought about giving you a name

Question 5: I don't know

I don't know what happened two years later

I don't think I will forget you

Question 6: Don’t like animals because I don’t like animals

Question 7: It is a coincidence, it is inevitable because there are too many people because there are purpose

Question 8: I still want to be a human being, I still want to be a man

Question Ninth: The tenth question of Jacky Cheung’s "Kiss Goodbye": The eighth question is boring, because people only spend their whole lives

Another nine questions are OK

My favorite question is the seventh and ninth question, and the question I answered

The seventh question is what I have always wanted to answer, and may not be detailed

The ninth question reminds me of many past events. The sound of this song is in the past. The most important thing is that my second brother likes this song. When he was an electrician, he had a tree at home with a loudspeaker tied to the tree. He kept playing this song half an hour before notifying the villagers every month to pay the electricity bill. I also learned it at that time. It was about 14 years old. I was in the third year of junior high school.

The tenth question, which is the question I answered, can let me summarize the thoughts of the above nine questions and let me write more words. When you are fine, you can take them out and take a look. I think my words are better than what you wrote.

completion

Rourou picked up the prose text, took a quick look and put it in her bag and said to me, thank you, I will take a closer look when I go back

Rourou threw 50 yuan to the chubby girl and said, "Don't ask for it anymore, please trouble you."

When Rourou and I walked out of the copy shop, the girl chased her out with a handful of recovered change. No, I have to ask you for money!

Don't leave!

Rourou turned around and said to her, we don’t want the money anymore

The girl was stunned with the money, Rourou and I were already walking away

The business of the small restaurant at the intersection of the street was very deserted. Rourou and I walked in. Rourou said, "I'm not hungry, I want to watch you eat."

I ordered a bowl of beef noodles and sucked loudly with the garlic. I was sweating all over my head.

I can't imagine how to live without garlic. With garlic, everything you eat is delicious

Fry the cake with garlic, stir-fry the rice with garlic, stew the noodles with garlic, steamed buns, dumplings, Ah, I yearn for it when I think about it!

Garlic - an indispensable golden vegetable!

Rourou brought two cold dishes to me, one bean curd and the other mung bean sprouts

Rourou said, you must eat enough, it depends on your hotness

She found her flower handkerchief from her bag and said, I'll help you sweat

I wiped my face with my hand and said, "It's all dirty for you, no need."

She smiled and said, "Didn't you also get me dirty when you sleep with me?"

Why don't you say no?

I smiled and said, that's not dirty, that's very clean

Rourou said, after I leave, you must treat Zhai Ji well and stop being flirting with each other.

I said, you've finished everything you want to say

She said, you don't want to hear it, right

I said, I don't like talking when I eat, nor do I like others talking

Rourou said, OK, you eat yours

I raised my head and asked her, why are you not hungry?

She said, this is still a problem. I am not hungry, but I am not hungry anymore

I said, you girls are richer than the other, they all like to lose weight!

Rourou said coquettishly, Fang Xiaochui, do you think I am fat?

I said, it's OK

Rourou said, I'm just right

I said, you're right

That day in the restaurant, that's it. We were talking nonsense, she looked at me, I was full

After walking out of the restaurant, I asked her where she went. She said, I was in no mood to play and didn't want to go back to your cottage. I wanted to go back and have a rest, and I will leave the day after tomorrow.

I said, will I go to give you it?

She said, do you want to give it to me?

I said, would you ask me to give it to me?

She said, forget it, don't send it, I'll leave alone

I said, then I won’t give it to you, have you told me to my family?

She said, I'll call them after I'm here

I said, will we still meet in the past two days?

She said, it's gone, there's nothing to say

I said, OK, I will always wish you

She walked to the side of the road and raised her hand to stop a taxi, pulling the door and turning back to me, "I received it, just say goodbye!"

I said to her, goodbye

Rourou quickly turned around and plunged into my arms. She raised her head to kiss me. When she kissed, she cried and frowned, and tears flowed out of her closed eyes. Her teeth found my lower lip and bitten it. My mouth was immediately filled with the salty smell of blood. She looked at me, and my lips were stained with my blood.

The soft arm hung around my neck and said, remember me, I know you loved me

The taxi exhaust was rippling, I said, hurry up and leave

Rourou said, I don’t know when we will meet again this time, can we all say something we want to say to each other the most?

I said, OK

She said, you'll say it first

I said, you need to take care of yourself

She let go of me, took two steps back and said loudly, "I will love you forever, I love you!"

After she said that, she got into the car, and the car drove away, stopped in front of the traffic light in the west, turned right towards Pipa Street

I don't know if this is a farewell, but I always feel that I will never see this girl again

I have been thinking about Zeng Zaimiao and our children in her belly

I walked to No. 40 Pipa Street and went back to dormitory 123 first. Cai Ya talked in the dormitory with two boys I didn't know.

Cai Ya was so happy that she was so happy that she hugged me and poured water for me to drink. Cai Ya said, "Brother, I'm going to see you, you won't come back."

I said, isn't this back

Cai Ya introduced the two boys to me, Cai Ya said their names, and I immediately forgot them

They have nothing to do with me. Seeing them all stupid and stupid, I don’t bother to know each other. They are not as smart as Zheng Shouhou’s right hand, not as smart as Su Mancang’s left hand, not as smart as Zhang Duo’s feet.

For a long time, I have regarded Zhang Duo as a role model for my friends, but I have never met a friend like Zhang Duo again.

Maybe I will no longer develop new friends in my life. I will drink and do business with some friends, such as Zhang Duo, He Qingshuang, Su Mancang, and Zheng Shouhou.

I used the phone number from dormitory 123 to call Zeng Zaimiao's dormitory, but no one answered, so I called her cell phone and she turned off the phone

I joked with Cai Ya for a few more boring jokes and left there alone

At noon on the third day of separation between Rourou, Zhang Duo went to No. 71 Orange Street and found me.

I was reading the novel "Years on the Tree" by a French woman named Duras. I watched her "Lovers" two years ago. At that time, I didn't understand anything. I read it again a few days ago and felt that everything was just like my feelings: love is prone to despair, but it must show a very promising look.

Zhang Duo sat on my bed. I sat on the chair and didn't even look up at him. I said, wait until I finished reading this page.

Zhang Duo looked at me, and after a while, he opened his schoolbag and took out a box from the schoolbag. He put the box on my desk and said, "Rou Rou is gone, she asked me to give you this box, saying that it was something she gave you."

Zhang Duo was a little sad. He started smoking, and none of us spoke.

Zhang Duo sat down for a while and said, "It's time for me to leave. I have time to call me. Let's have some drinks. I haven't chatted with you for a long time."

I sent Zhang Duo downstairs and out of the gate. He rode a broken bicycle that he never locked and no one stole. He yelled Cui Jian's "Nothing" and left. He sang more heartbroken than Cui Jian himself.

I returned to the hut and looked at the paper box, with two little people woven with colorful strips of cloth on it.

I don’t know what gift Rourou will give me. I said I don’t want it anymore. Will she give me her album?

I like those photos very much. I once held them in my hand and looked at them. I never thought of asking for a few pictures. I think she is mine. What else do you want to do if you want photos.

She just stands wherever she wants, and in which position she takes, the person who takes photos can take pictures and print them out, and how beautiful she looks

But now she is leaving, I suddenly realize that there is not even a photo of her

I tore open the box packaging, took the little man down and put it in the drawer

There were several stacks of brand new RMB in the box, and a page of very small stacked letter paper, nothing else was left

I took out the money and the letter paper, and I carefully unfolded the letter paper, and saw the correct words she wrote again

There are probably three hundred words, or less

(See below for the letter

Crawl, I have never called you like this before, right?

But today, I want to call you like this

There is 50,000 yuan here, so you can keep it and buy some books you like to read

I know that Zhai Ji often buys books for you, but I have never bought them for you, because I don’t know what kind of books you like to read

Maybe this is where I am worse than her

I originally wanted to leave you more money, but I was afraid that I would encounter any difficulties when I went abroad. Don't think it was too little

We are all very poor, we must strive to be rich

You have the talent for writing articles and write well. I am still waiting to read your book. Can you write our stories into it?

If you can write, this letter may be the end of the story

I will go to Zhang Duo to say goodbye tomorrow morning, and I will ask him to pass this letter to you

I haven't written a letter to anyone for a long time. I'm thinking about it so much that my brain hurts and I don't know what to write

OK, I will write to you when I get to the place. Goodbye, my dearest person

Zixian, early morning on October 23, 2000

(The letter is completed

I read the Rourou letter several times, and I heard Zhai Ji's bicycle sounding into the yard. I quickly put the money, box and letter into the bedside table, opened the door and stood at the stairs and looked down. It was not Zhai Ji, but another girl, another bicycle.

In addition to the blows that Rourou left me these days, Zeng Zaimiao was also the one who answered the phone. The girl who answered the phone told me that Zeng Zaimiao was no longer living in the dormitory and that she went out to rent a house by herself.

I was so anxious that I could no longer call her phone

Several times, I called her dormitory and asked her the girl in the dormitory, but the girl in her dormitory didn't know where she moved to

Damn, Zeng Zaimiao cannot give birth to a child!

That evening, I was walking alone on the way to Rourou's residence. I didn't know what to do. Even if the lights were on at that window, the people under the lights were no longer Rourou.

But I want to see where she has lived

I saw a lot of people along the way

People are the most common in this world, nothing to be rare

I looked at people and became unfamiliar with them. They are not my kind. It's the first time I've seen such an animal.

My mind was full of softness. At that moment, all the people I saw became obstacles, and they made me no longer see softness.

As I walked, I felt very strange, and my shoes were very strange, only Rou Rou was familiar, but I couldn't see her anymore

A girl is standing at the door, not wearing pajamas

A boy came out and took her away

I saw the familiar yard, the familiar iron gate

I walked in and stood at the door of the room where Rourou lived. I really wanted to open the door. I really hope to see Rourou sitting on the bed, smiling happily, and playing games on my phone.

She sat next to her, and Fang Xiaochui hugged her by the waist and said to her that it was late at night, and it was time for me to leave.

Rourou turned off the game and said, "You spend the night here, you have never spent the night with me."

Fang Xiaochui stood up and walked out of the door, walked to me and looked at me, then walked to me. He and I turned around and saw that the door was locked from outside, and the floral curtain was gone.

The old landlord came over and asked me, who are you looking for?

I said, I'll look for Rourou

She said, please find the girl named Wu, she has checked out, it is the room in front of you, no one has come to rent it yet

I walked out of the yard and saw many lights on and night was already coming

Rourou, actually I know you are no longer here, so I want to come and have a look