Chapter 37 Decide to be independent!

Why do you want to come back? Why don’t you just leave?

Ryan looked at me while crying, his brows frowned tightly, making me unaware of what he was thinking about, which would bother such a man.

Don’t you want me to come back? Then why do you stay by my bed every day? Why are you full of apology and pity in your eyes? Did I see it wrong?

I don't want it, I don't want to see you who will cry and laugh like this... You are so unreal. I would rather be in my dream now, so that I will get your forgiveness... I can tell you that our child dies and I can repent like you... You wake up, I don't know how to speak... I would rather you no longer forgive me in your dreams a thousand times and ten thousand times... Ryan's voice was very soft, but I could hear it clearly

I don't want to forgive you, even if you dreamed of me a thousand times and ten thousand times, I won't forgive you... I don't want to forgive you... I really don't want to forgive you, but now seeing you like this, how can I make up my mind to not forgive you

Haha, that's good, that's good... His forehead is pressed against my forehead, remember, I will wait for the day you forgive me, and when my performance is good, you forgive me again and let me atone for my poor child... atone for you... atone for you... atone for you?

You have no sin, what you have is just an apology, not a sin...

Please wait... OK? Ryan's expression was begging, and I wanted to agree so

You actually don't need this... I lost my child, it was me who accidentally... I thought about it for a long time before I blurted out such words. It turns out that this is what I think in my heart...

It was my carelessness, or I was taking it upon myself, and I wanted to commit suicide with my baby, but I didn't die, but the baby disappeared...

It's mine. If I endure it a little longer, maybe the baby is still in my stomach...

My hand stroked my flat belly, as if the slight bulge before was just an illusion, a feeling of fear came. Baby, right in front of me, looked at me, cried and said to me, Mom, you killed me...

I…

Ai! It's your fault! Everything is your fault! It's you who want to escape from us, it's you who participate in our lives at will, it's you who savagely occupy our hearts, it's you who cruelly want to be irresponsible... It's your fault, it's you who make us fall in love with you madly, it's you who make me live in guilt... Bry turned me around, my thoughts were disrupted, and everything I had was his accusation against me...

Accuse me, want to escape from them, accuse me, and make them fall in love with me...

I didn't mean it, I really didn't mean it was you who deceived me, you gave me happiness all of a sudden, you took away happiness all of a sudden, you made me fall into the trap, you made me no longer worry-free... It was you who made me really care about you

Bry hugged me in his arms as he was crying.

Cry, you vent everything and you keep it all in your heart. I would rather you scold me like this than forgive me. I am not worthy of your forgiveness. I will be better to you and will not want to tease you like toys like last time.

Bry kissed my earlobe, I miss you so much... I miss you so much, I was so scared, afraid of dreaming of you at night, afraid that you would refuse my apology in your dream, afraid that you would never pay attention to me again, afraid that I would not dare to sleep, I was so scared, afraid that I would never see you again...

I'm afraid, I'll lose you like this...Buly was so nervous, and he was so scared. He regretted it. I know, I know

But I was still worried that he was a lie, worried that I would fall into their trap again, or that it would fall deeper, and I was afraid of getting such an answer

You don't have to do this... I was a little scared when I remembered it. I pushed Buley away and sat on the hospital bed, looking at the two tall and handsome men standing in front of me. They were all so haggard, but the light in their eyes could not be hidden.

I'm afraid to see that look

What do you want us? Buley approached me, I moved back unconsciously, he noticed my movements, stopped in place, and looked at me with a more sad look...

Don't look at me like that, I won't forgive you...at least not now...I can't forgive you now, absolutely cannot

Then when will you forgive us? Ryan spoke, it turns out,

What he said just now was just a lie...I was almost deceived again...

When I don't like you anymore... I will forgive you. I hope I will never have any relationship with you again. I have any connection... I want to leave you, leave you, Buley, leave you, Ryan... Only by leaving you can I be independent

I want independence, I want to rely on myself, not on you...

In this way, I may not be hurt...