In the past fifteen years since I was separated from me, Yu Qingci must be calling my name every night when he woke up late at night.
The guilt and regret that I wanted to see it but didn't dare to see it has long corroded her bones, and the words Chen Mo have long become her attachment to this world.
This love becomes deeper and deeper and less boundless as time goes by.
She just wants to stay with me every day, every minute and every second, embrace me, sleep with me, watch me wake up.
If she can, she wants to compensate me for everything, including the soul and the body.
She also knew that this kind of love was pathological, but she could not control herself, so she deceived herself, forgot her identity, and forgot the worldly taboos...
But all of this was burst like a bubble...
Auntie, you are Xiaomo’s biological mother Ah!Is it not enough to abandon her for fifteen years? Do you still want to destroy him?
The queen only said one sentence, but this sentence killed Yu Qingci ten thousand times, as if she was forever falling into the world!
********************
The queen left again, and this time she left more quickly than she did last time, so she was so hurrying that I hadn't officially looked at her yet.
I don’t know what the queen said to Yu Qingci. On the way back to the classroom apartment, Yu Qingci was in a daze. I called her a few times and she didn’t hear it.
In the next few days, Yu Qingci was very strange. She was always in a habitual daze, and seemed to be deliberately reducing contact with me, but after a while, she would uncontrollably look at me.
When I went to bed at night, I was clearly holding me tightly, but the next morning, she would become a strange person, curled up in the corner of the quilt.
When I hugged her in my arms again, her brows slowly unfolded in her sleep.
Regarding Yu Qingci's abnormal behavior, I consulted the doctor last time with some concern. The doctor told me: This is a tendency to be more serious in depression. The patient becomes more and more unable to control his thoughts, and depression will become more and more serious.If this continues, the patient will fall into a cycle of self-blame and guilt, and then be imprisoned in the inner cage. In severe cases, the mental may collapse... It is often said that it becomes a vegetable...
Is there any treatment?I asked in silence.
This... may not be solved... The patient's biggest trouble is guilt towards you. Long-term guilt will make her become a pathological dependence on you... or even a taboo feeling that should not have happened. You should also know this in your heart.
The doctor paused and continued: So, every time she saw you, her illness would become worse...
Then...what if I leave her?
When I asked this sentence tremblingly, I loved Yu Qingci even more because I finally realized the feeling that she had to leave me back then.
It turns out that love is letting go.
I don't know, I'm not sure, but you can try it.
Well, thank you.
********************
December 3rd, another morning.
I gently wiped the tears from Yu Qingci's sleep, and did not continue to hold her and sleep for a while as usual, but got up directly, wanting to go to the library to read a book and distract each other's attention.
However, as soon as I arrived at the library, I was blocked by a man in a handsome suit and in a handsome suit. Judging from his temperament, I knew that this person was very famous.
I frowned and asked, Who are you looking for?
My name is Zhang Jian. Someone read the financial modeling you posted on the forum and wanted to ask if you want to work privately at the node.
The man first introduced himself and then handed me a business card.
The model posted on the forum was originally used for fishing, but I really didn't expect to catch such a big fish, so I might tear the rod off.
After hearing the man's intention, I frowned and refused, but when I saw the title of the Municipal Party Committee Office on my business card, I changed my attention.
Since I had the idea of leaving, this may be an opportunity.
I was unhappy with my thoughts, so I returned the business card to the man and said directly: Where are you going?lead the way.
Zhang Jian saw my expression, and he couldn't help but praise it in his heart. He was inexplicably brought to him by a stranger. He was still so calm. His character was a little better than when he was young.
Zhang Jian took me out of the school, came to the car, and said with a smile: Are you really not afraid of me as an illegal person, and you dare to follow me with a business card?
I took a look at the license plate Shanghai A00004, and did not answer his question. I opened the passenger door and sat in.
I didn't choose the back seat for me, but got into the co-pilot. Zhang Jian looked at me even more. At this age, ordinary children don't know that those people are sitting in the back seat of the car with this license plate.
In this way, Zhang Jian had a little desire to chat. While driving, he said to me: Are you interested in working within the system after graduation? I have read your analysis of the political environment and market environment. I have a lot of insights and are a good seedling.
I'm not interested for the moment, and I'm contacting you when I have any ideas.I directly refused.
Zhang Jian drove steadily, maintaining a speed of about 40 yards all the way, with an error of less than 2 yards. The car stopped at the entrance of a community in the city center. It was neither a villa area where every inch of land was valuable nor a high-end apartment with great wealth.
On the contrary, it was an old community that had been in a while, which surprised me a little, but also felt that it was reasonable.
The community greening is done very well, and the distance between buildings is very far. It can be imagined that when the developer initially designed, he made plans and only sold them to rich people.
Zhang Jian took out his notebook and wrote a door number on it, tear it off and handed it to me, and said with a smile: This is only once, I won’t be so lucky to be your driver in the future.
I can't say disgusted with his arrogance that is engraved in his bones, but I can't say I like him either.I took the note, smiled at him, and walked into the community.
Pressing the corresponding door number, I rang the doorbell a few times, and it took a while before I could react.
A cute loli with a bun about eight or nine years old first looked at Chen Mo outside the door in the cat's eyes, then half open the door, poked out a head, smiled brightly, and had a cute dimples on her face, and asked in a slight voice: Brother, who are you looking for?
The little loli's smile was very contagious, which made me smile unconsciously on my face, and said with a soft smile: My name is Chen Mo, and it was an uncle named Zhang Jian who asked me to come here.
When the little loli heard that it was Zhang Jian who asked Chen Mo to come, she let go of the door and jumped back to the living room and sat on the sofa and played with her favorite Pikachu figure.
The house is not big, about 120 square meters and is decorated very warmly. In addition to the cute little loli, there is also a girl who looks in her early 20s and has a very outstanding temperament sitting on the sofa. She is watching Korean soap opera with relish, while watching, she wipes her tears with a tissue.
Looking at such a funny scene, I was suddenly confused...
Didn’t you say you wanted to do private equity?What is this...
Fortunately, a 27- or 8-year-old young man came out of the study and broke my embarrassment. He was like Zhang Jian, with a straight suit, a pair of gold-rimmed glasses, and looked like a successful person.
However, the opposite of temperament is completely different. Compared with Zhang Jian's arrogant and arrogant person, this man gives me the feeling of spring breeze, which makes people feel very kind.
But as soon as he spoke, I still shocked my chin.
Hello, Zhaixing, right...I am Lan Yue...
The nest... I couldn't help but swear.
You are saying it once, who are you?
The young man seemed to be a little embarrassed, and quietly glanced at the girl sitting on the sofa watching a soap opera, and said with a smile: I am Lanyue, we have been intimate for two years.
If we use four words to describe our current mood, it can only be fucking, I was shocked!
I got to know this Lan Yue back to the first year of high school. At that time, influenced by the queen, I fell in love with stock trading, and by chance I discovered that private equity forum. I often posted my stock harvest orders on the forum.
Because the stock trading results are pretty good, she was targeted by Lan Yue for some reason. At that time, she didn't call Lan Yue, but a weak woman who was easily pushed down by soft voice.
After she saw my stock harvest order, she sent me private messages every day and asked me to recommend stocks to her.When I saw her id, my first reaction was to pretend to be a clever man, so I ignored her.
But she persisted and pestered me for a long time, and it made me unable to mess with me. I had to tell her the broken lines of the few I was going to buy and reminded her to sell after more than ten points, but she didn't listen. The stock price rose by fifteen points and did not sell. By the second week of opening, the stock price plunged continuously, and finally the stock price was cut in half, and she was also trapped.
Then for this matter, we started a two-year verbal war, but she didn't seem to be able to curse people. Every time I was speechless, I finally started to act coquettishly and acted like a coquettish.
I also changed my ID, my name is Zhaixing, and her name is Lan Yue.If I pick the stars, she will pick the moon, and she will press down on me anyway.
Unexpectedly, we actually met in reality, and even more unexpectedly, she was so big.You can easily call the special car of the No. 4 figure in Shanghai to pick up people.
I tightened my mind, expelled the distracting thoughts in my heart and said: Since I have known each other for a long time, I won’t talk much nonsense. You can tell me what kind of private work you want to do.
Make a basic model of ICBC’s social responsibility report.
What?
When I heard him, I almost scolded him. You asked me a student to do a social responsibility model about ICBC. Are you sure you are not sick?Do you think those large offices are a good deal?
The man scratched his head, and seemed to feel embarrassed, but he glanced at the girl sitting on the sofa and said with a thorn in mind: It’s not that you are independent, but just a part of it for you to do. Isn’t the modeling you posted on the forum quite unique insights?
I lit a cigarette and took a sip, like an old monk entering into meditation.
To be honest, every man has a heart that proves himself. As long as this social model is adopted, it will inevitably be a shocking springboard. One foot can step into the circle of the top.
Seeing that I didn't respond, the young man looked at the woman on the sofa and asked carefully: Are you not interested?
I held a cigarette in my mouth, looked at him, and said slowly: To be honest, do you want to mess with me? I have been scolding me for two years but haven't won once, so I hold a grudge and want to play with me?
Before the man could speak, the girl sitting on the sofa watching TV could not sit still. She stretched her head and said hurriedly: Bah, who has never beaten you by the Wave!
She seemed to feel that she was a little too much, and immediately turned her head over and stared at the TV and said weakly, "Huh... why did you put on the advertisement?"
The young man was one head and two big. He glanced at the girl and said quickly: No matter whether ICBC accepts it in the end, the reward of 3 million yuan is not a point. If it accepts it, it will not be capped according to market evaluation.
I looked at the girl on the sofa with a strange look, frowned and said: 3 million?Are you not afraid that the money will be wasted?
Hoho, isn’t our two-year friendship worth the three million?
OK, send me the information.
I admit that I am moved. Every man has a heart that proves himself. As long as this social model is adopted, it will inevitably be a shocking springboard. Even if one foot steps into the circle of the high-level, this is what I must prepare for the queen before leaving.
The young man obviously had prepared a lot of data to my email address, including the annual report of ICBC in the past five years, the preparation of guidance related to the service industry, and some dimensional models recently proposed, which are diverse and I am not afraid that I can't understand it at all.
After all the information is transmitted, I asked: Time limit?
20 days, no more than one day.
I took a deep breath and said: Forget it for three million, you also said that our friendship is worth the price. If things are done, please help me take care of someone and let her avoid detours. With your energy, you should be able to do it.
The young man glanced at the girl, saw that she didn't say anything, and nodded and said: It's OK.
********************
After I came out of Lanyue, I first went to the printing shop to print out the information, and made a whole box, and then I directly plunged into the library with the information.
I found a place in the corner, one of which is a day. Except for going to the convenience store at noon to buy a bottle of water and two bread, the rest of the time spent digesting the information.
It was not until the time for the library to close, that I came back to my senses from the materials and books, packed up and prepared to go back to Yu Qing Ci. Later, I thought about it and decided not to go back.
I found another socket and connected to the computer to continue reading the information.
When I finished smoking the last cigarette in my pocket, less than half an hour left before the library was opened. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and had breakfast again, but I was still sleepless, and then returned to the library to read.
Before I knew it, I had been overnight for three days. During this period, Yu Qingci never contacted me, but every time I would have my eyes red and I was watching me in the corner tower.
I saw it and the pain was in my heart, but I still endured the discomfort and continued my work, which also made me go directly into a state of madness. There were several times when I didn't even know how I fell asleep.
It was difficult to finish the work at the beginning. After the initial data understanding stage, the modeling process also attracted a glimmer of hope and touched a trace of veins.
I looked out the window and it was raining. I set the alarm clock and fell on the table and fell asleep.
The guilt and regret that I wanted to see it but didn't dare to see it has long corroded her bones, and the words Chen Mo have long become her attachment to this world.
This love becomes deeper and deeper and less boundless as time goes by.
She just wants to stay with me every day, every minute and every second, embrace me, sleep with me, watch me wake up.
If she can, she wants to compensate me for everything, including the soul and the body.
She also knew that this kind of love was pathological, but she could not control herself, so she deceived herself, forgot her identity, and forgot the worldly taboos...
But all of this was burst like a bubble...
Auntie, you are Xiaomo’s biological mother Ah!Is it not enough to abandon her for fifteen years? Do you still want to destroy him?
The queen only said one sentence, but this sentence killed Yu Qingci ten thousand times, as if she was forever falling into the world!
********************
The queen left again, and this time she left more quickly than she did last time, so she was so hurrying that I hadn't officially looked at her yet.
I don’t know what the queen said to Yu Qingci. On the way back to the classroom apartment, Yu Qingci was in a daze. I called her a few times and she didn’t hear it.
In the next few days, Yu Qingci was very strange. She was always in a habitual daze, and seemed to be deliberately reducing contact with me, but after a while, she would uncontrollably look at me.
When I went to bed at night, I was clearly holding me tightly, but the next morning, she would become a strange person, curled up in the corner of the quilt.
When I hugged her in my arms again, her brows slowly unfolded in her sleep.
Regarding Yu Qingci's abnormal behavior, I consulted the doctor last time with some concern. The doctor told me: This is a tendency to be more serious in depression. The patient becomes more and more unable to control his thoughts, and depression will become more and more serious.If this continues, the patient will fall into a cycle of self-blame and guilt, and then be imprisoned in the inner cage. In severe cases, the mental may collapse... It is often said that it becomes a vegetable...
Is there any treatment?I asked in silence.
This... may not be solved... The patient's biggest trouble is guilt towards you. Long-term guilt will make her become a pathological dependence on you... or even a taboo feeling that should not have happened. You should also know this in your heart.
The doctor paused and continued: So, every time she saw you, her illness would become worse...
Then...what if I leave her?
When I asked this sentence tremblingly, I loved Yu Qingci even more because I finally realized the feeling that she had to leave me back then.
It turns out that love is letting go.
I don't know, I'm not sure, but you can try it.
Well, thank you.
********************
December 3rd, another morning.
I gently wiped the tears from Yu Qingci's sleep, and did not continue to hold her and sleep for a while as usual, but got up directly, wanting to go to the library to read a book and distract each other's attention.
However, as soon as I arrived at the library, I was blocked by a man in a handsome suit and in a handsome suit. Judging from his temperament, I knew that this person was very famous.
I frowned and asked, Who are you looking for?
My name is Zhang Jian. Someone read the financial modeling you posted on the forum and wanted to ask if you want to work privately at the node.
The man first introduced himself and then handed me a business card.
The model posted on the forum was originally used for fishing, but I really didn't expect to catch such a big fish, so I might tear the rod off.
After hearing the man's intention, I frowned and refused, but when I saw the title of the Municipal Party Committee Office on my business card, I changed my attention.
Since I had the idea of leaving, this may be an opportunity.
I was unhappy with my thoughts, so I returned the business card to the man and said directly: Where are you going?lead the way.
Zhang Jian saw my expression, and he couldn't help but praise it in his heart. He was inexplicably brought to him by a stranger. He was still so calm. His character was a little better than when he was young.
Zhang Jian took me out of the school, came to the car, and said with a smile: Are you really not afraid of me as an illegal person, and you dare to follow me with a business card?
I took a look at the license plate Shanghai A00004, and did not answer his question. I opened the passenger door and sat in.
I didn't choose the back seat for me, but got into the co-pilot. Zhang Jian looked at me even more. At this age, ordinary children don't know that those people are sitting in the back seat of the car with this license plate.
In this way, Zhang Jian had a little desire to chat. While driving, he said to me: Are you interested in working within the system after graduation? I have read your analysis of the political environment and market environment. I have a lot of insights and are a good seedling.
I'm not interested for the moment, and I'm contacting you when I have any ideas.I directly refused.
Zhang Jian drove steadily, maintaining a speed of about 40 yards all the way, with an error of less than 2 yards. The car stopped at the entrance of a community in the city center. It was neither a villa area where every inch of land was valuable nor a high-end apartment with great wealth.
On the contrary, it was an old community that had been in a while, which surprised me a little, but also felt that it was reasonable.
The community greening is done very well, and the distance between buildings is very far. It can be imagined that when the developer initially designed, he made plans and only sold them to rich people.
Zhang Jian took out his notebook and wrote a door number on it, tear it off and handed it to me, and said with a smile: This is only once, I won’t be so lucky to be your driver in the future.
I can't say disgusted with his arrogance that is engraved in his bones, but I can't say I like him either.I took the note, smiled at him, and walked into the community.
Pressing the corresponding door number, I rang the doorbell a few times, and it took a while before I could react.
A cute loli with a bun about eight or nine years old first looked at Chen Mo outside the door in the cat's eyes, then half open the door, poked out a head, smiled brightly, and had a cute dimples on her face, and asked in a slight voice: Brother, who are you looking for?
The little loli's smile was very contagious, which made me smile unconsciously on my face, and said with a soft smile: My name is Chen Mo, and it was an uncle named Zhang Jian who asked me to come here.
When the little loli heard that it was Zhang Jian who asked Chen Mo to come, she let go of the door and jumped back to the living room and sat on the sofa and played with her favorite Pikachu figure.
The house is not big, about 120 square meters and is decorated very warmly. In addition to the cute little loli, there is also a girl who looks in her early 20s and has a very outstanding temperament sitting on the sofa. She is watching Korean soap opera with relish, while watching, she wipes her tears with a tissue.
Looking at such a funny scene, I was suddenly confused...
Didn’t you say you wanted to do private equity?What is this...
Fortunately, a 27- or 8-year-old young man came out of the study and broke my embarrassment. He was like Zhang Jian, with a straight suit, a pair of gold-rimmed glasses, and looked like a successful person.
However, the opposite of temperament is completely different. Compared with Zhang Jian's arrogant and arrogant person, this man gives me the feeling of spring breeze, which makes people feel very kind.
But as soon as he spoke, I still shocked my chin.
Hello, Zhaixing, right...I am Lan Yue...
The nest... I couldn't help but swear.
You are saying it once, who are you?
The young man seemed to be a little embarrassed, and quietly glanced at the girl sitting on the sofa watching a soap opera, and said with a smile: I am Lanyue, we have been intimate for two years.
If we use four words to describe our current mood, it can only be fucking, I was shocked!
I got to know this Lan Yue back to the first year of high school. At that time, influenced by the queen, I fell in love with stock trading, and by chance I discovered that private equity forum. I often posted my stock harvest orders on the forum.
Because the stock trading results are pretty good, she was targeted by Lan Yue for some reason. At that time, she didn't call Lan Yue, but a weak woman who was easily pushed down by soft voice.
After she saw my stock harvest order, she sent me private messages every day and asked me to recommend stocks to her.When I saw her id, my first reaction was to pretend to be a clever man, so I ignored her.
But she persisted and pestered me for a long time, and it made me unable to mess with me. I had to tell her the broken lines of the few I was going to buy and reminded her to sell after more than ten points, but she didn't listen. The stock price rose by fifteen points and did not sell. By the second week of opening, the stock price plunged continuously, and finally the stock price was cut in half, and she was also trapped.
Then for this matter, we started a two-year verbal war, but she didn't seem to be able to curse people. Every time I was speechless, I finally started to act coquettishly and acted like a coquettish.
I also changed my ID, my name is Zhaixing, and her name is Lan Yue.If I pick the stars, she will pick the moon, and she will press down on me anyway.
Unexpectedly, we actually met in reality, and even more unexpectedly, she was so big.You can easily call the special car of the No. 4 figure in Shanghai to pick up people.
I tightened my mind, expelled the distracting thoughts in my heart and said: Since I have known each other for a long time, I won’t talk much nonsense. You can tell me what kind of private work you want to do.
Make a basic model of ICBC’s social responsibility report.
What?
When I heard him, I almost scolded him. You asked me a student to do a social responsibility model about ICBC. Are you sure you are not sick?Do you think those large offices are a good deal?
The man scratched his head, and seemed to feel embarrassed, but he glanced at the girl sitting on the sofa and said with a thorn in mind: It’s not that you are independent, but just a part of it for you to do. Isn’t the modeling you posted on the forum quite unique insights?
I lit a cigarette and took a sip, like an old monk entering into meditation.
To be honest, every man has a heart that proves himself. As long as this social model is adopted, it will inevitably be a shocking springboard. One foot can step into the circle of the top.
Seeing that I didn't respond, the young man looked at the woman on the sofa and asked carefully: Are you not interested?
I held a cigarette in my mouth, looked at him, and said slowly: To be honest, do you want to mess with me? I have been scolding me for two years but haven't won once, so I hold a grudge and want to play with me?
Before the man could speak, the girl sitting on the sofa watching TV could not sit still. She stretched her head and said hurriedly: Bah, who has never beaten you by the Wave!
She seemed to feel that she was a little too much, and immediately turned her head over and stared at the TV and said weakly, "Huh... why did you put on the advertisement?"
The young man was one head and two big. He glanced at the girl and said quickly: No matter whether ICBC accepts it in the end, the reward of 3 million yuan is not a point. If it accepts it, it will not be capped according to market evaluation.
I looked at the girl on the sofa with a strange look, frowned and said: 3 million?Are you not afraid that the money will be wasted?
Hoho, isn’t our two-year friendship worth the three million?
OK, send me the information.
I admit that I am moved. Every man has a heart that proves himself. As long as this social model is adopted, it will inevitably be a shocking springboard. Even if one foot steps into the circle of the high-level, this is what I must prepare for the queen before leaving.
The young man obviously had prepared a lot of data to my email address, including the annual report of ICBC in the past five years, the preparation of guidance related to the service industry, and some dimensional models recently proposed, which are diverse and I am not afraid that I can't understand it at all.
After all the information is transmitted, I asked: Time limit?
20 days, no more than one day.
I took a deep breath and said: Forget it for three million, you also said that our friendship is worth the price. If things are done, please help me take care of someone and let her avoid detours. With your energy, you should be able to do it.
The young man glanced at the girl, saw that she didn't say anything, and nodded and said: It's OK.
********************
After I came out of Lanyue, I first went to the printing shop to print out the information, and made a whole box, and then I directly plunged into the library with the information.
I found a place in the corner, one of which is a day. Except for going to the convenience store at noon to buy a bottle of water and two bread, the rest of the time spent digesting the information.
It was not until the time for the library to close, that I came back to my senses from the materials and books, packed up and prepared to go back to Yu Qing Ci. Later, I thought about it and decided not to go back.
I found another socket and connected to the computer to continue reading the information.
When I finished smoking the last cigarette in my pocket, less than half an hour left before the library was opened. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and had breakfast again, but I was still sleepless, and then returned to the library to read.
Before I knew it, I had been overnight for three days. During this period, Yu Qingci never contacted me, but every time I would have my eyes red and I was watching me in the corner tower.
I saw it and the pain was in my heart, but I still endured the discomfort and continued my work, which also made me go directly into a state of madness. There were several times when I didn't even know how I fell asleep.
It was difficult to finish the work at the beginning. After the initial data understanding stage, the modeling process also attracted a glimmer of hope and touched a trace of veins.
I looked out the window and it was raining. I set the alarm clock and fell on the table and fell asleep.
![[Historical fiction] Biography of Ruyi Jun - Drama, classic](/templates/nvshen/themes/img/thumb_1.png)