Chapter 344 Wife's Monologue 12

I don't know how long I stayed in bed like this, my heart was in a mess, and I didn't think of anything. Suddenly I thought that when Su Feng got up later, I would see the light; I didn't feel it last night, but I was a little scared to get up lightly and finish it quickly.

I even thought, while Su Feng had not woken up, he went in and out secretly, but he didn't have the courage to go out soon. Soon his phone rang. Ye Ziyan called. After they talked, he hung up and told me, and he would go out.

Thinking of being about to face Lei, I was so nervous that I couldn't breathe. All of this came too quickly, so fast that I was not ready yet, and I hadn't seriously considered the consequences I needed to bear, but now it has become a reality. I don't know how to face him, and I don't know how to get along with him in the future

Even if I don't want to, I have to face the complexity of walking out of the room. I lifted my feet at the door but couldn't walk out. I didn't want to, and I was afraid to walk out. I hesitated many times before I stepped out. I didn't dare to look up and didn't dare to look at Lei. I felt deaf at that time, and I couldn't even hear clearly what they said.

Many faces are constantly emerging in front of me. Last night's incident was almost unforgivable for a woman, especially for me, for our family. This night, I completely overturned my world. I can't face Lei, face my family, and face this world as before.

I feel that I am abandoned by the light and will be surrounded by darkness forever. I can't live in the sunshine. Today, Lei and I have taken the first step for our love. It may mean that our marriage can be saved, but I don't feel happy at all.

Instead, I feel that we have ruined our future with our own hands. We may have chosen the wrong path, but now, this path can no longer be turned back, and we must persist in walking.

I forgot how I walked out of that club and how I walked back home. I felt like I was numb and lost like a machine. It was awkward, like losing all hope.

When I got home, I almost fell down. Lei finally touched me again, but I couldn't accept it calmly. I felt that my whole body could not touch him. I took it back in a panic, hid in a panic, locked the door, and locked myself in the room.

I realized that I was afraid of seeing Lei, and even more afraid of touching his eyes. I used to long to be with him, long to talk to him, enjoy his warmth, and the feeling of giving disappeared completely. I hated myself a little, I couldn't understand why it turned out like this, and even so, I hated him a little, I thought that the current situation was caused by him.

I can't stay in Anran, lose my anger, and feel so cold when I lie on the bed. It's still cold under the cover. I can only curl up, hoping to get some warmth, but there is still no change in the slightest sunshine. It seems that only by hiding in the dark quilt can I find some sense of security.

I've been in bed for a long time, and I'm not sleepy at all. I'm awake, but my mind is so confused that I can't even remember what day it is today. The world has changed color. I want to figure out what happened, but I can't figure it out.

I don't want to put all the blame on Lei, I don't want to blame him because I understand, he is helpless, but the current situation needs to be solved. We can't do this forever, otherwise we can't even hold on for a few days

I am like a powerless woman trapped in quicksand, hoping that someone will come to rescue me, otherwise I will only be submerged in quicksand little by little with time, completely disappearing, and never be discovered by others

I don't know how long it took, just as I was about to despair, the door suddenly got knocked. I heard Lei's anxious shout and felt a numb feeling in my heart. Finally, I felt that someone was about to discover it, but I couldn't move, and I couldn't even respond.

Lei broke into the room and heard him searching in the room. He gently lifted the quilt, and felt like he was pushing down and pressing against me. Dashan, which made me unable to breathe, gently hugged me. Even if I didn't open my eyes, I knew that he must be in pain and blamed myself, but now I can't even convince myself and cannot comfort his wounds.

I still had a strong reaction to his touch. I didn't want to, but my body couldn't control him and took his hand away with understanding and covered me with a blanket. I could feel all of this, and I felt a little better. I was a drop in the bucket and could not melt my frozen heart.

He lay gently beside me. As it turns out, I still can't live without him. Even if I have no words, as long as I know that he is sleeping beside me, it is like building a solid castle for me, which can shelter me from the wind and rain. I feel like sleeping in a warm harbor and feel a little safe.

In the following time, we were all silent. I began to examine myself again. Maybe it was too late to examine our relationship. He had to force him. Maybe it was not that he didn't love me, but because he loved me too much, he would ignore the consequences. He tried every means to keep this relationship, keep our marriage, and the love that made us love and hate.

Even if he made a mistake, it was because he loved me too much and changed his mind. My heart was not so blocked, uncomfortable, and lying in pain for a long time. I thought a lot. Will it be like this in the future? I need to rely on this to maintain our love. Is it worth it? How long can we last? Can we really be happy? Maybe he was also bothered with me. Time passed every second, and those Yiri circled in my mind. I couldn't even think of an answer. I noticed that the room became dark. He turned on the light and then he got up, went to the kitchen, tinting and tinting.

He doesn't know how to cook, and he hasn't cooked for a long time. I don't know what he is doing, but now I just want to lie down quietly and think about nothing.

He brought the noodles to the bed and called softly. I felt warm in my heart. I wanted to open my eyes, but I couldn't open it. He was very anxious. He was excited and helped me up and shook me, blaming myself. I wanted to comfort me, but I couldn't move at all. When I felt that I was imprisoned in another place, he held me in my arms. For some reason, my body was completely uncontrollable. I could hear everything he said, but I couldn't respond until the hot tears passed by my hands and fell into my heart. The man's tears were also a good medicine for women. They could make women soft, forgive, and turn their minds back.

The tears seemed to penetrate time and space, stirring up waves in another world, washing away the bondage on me, and liberating my soul. Finally, I escaped from that confined world. I don’t want to see him suffering, because our hearts are connected, and his pain will be passed on to me

I wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes and used my ability to comfort him to hear the self-blame in his words. He wanted to express the pain in his heart and beg me for forgiveness, but what we need now is not forgiveness, but hope

Just now, the moment tears slid across my heart, I thought of the only way, which is to let us forget about that thing for the time being. I comforted him, and did not want him to mention it, so as to avoid increasing the pain in our hearts again, and blame ourselves because we no longer have this torture. Any trauma may crush us now.