Chapter 15: Live humiliatingly

Awei, Ali thanked Sister Wang excitedly. Sister Wang was also very proud, looking a bit successful. She enjoyed the appearance of a man whispering in front of her.

I looked up carefully at them, and when they saw that they didn't notice me, I immediately got up and hit the wall. As long as I was hit and killed, I could be completely free and no longer have to think about self-esteem, life and death, or family members.

Bang

My head hit the wall, and my head hurts. Then, blood-red blood flowed down my forehead, blurring my eyes, and my eyes were red. After I woke up and knew that I hadn't hit me, I was like crazy, yelling and hitting my head against the wall, trying to kill myself, but God was like teasing me. Some people don't want to die, but I want to die, but I can't...

My face was covered in blood, and I squatted on the ground in despair, crying hysterically

This scene shocked Sister Wang and the others. They didn't expect that my temperament was so strong. After being temporarily lost, Sister Wang snorted heavily and said to Ali beside her: Look out for her, do you want to die? It's not that easy

knew

Ali responded. After Sister Wang walked out, she walked to me with heavy steps, squatted down, looking at my miserable appearance with blood on my face, maybe she was touched in her heart, sighed, stroked my blood-stained hair, and said softly: I also have a sister, her personality is as proud and stubborn as you, so she was forced to death by the village chief of our village. However, I didn't let the village chief have a good time. That night, I killed their whole family, and then escaped here and became a thug. When I saw what you were like just now, I remembered that night, when my sister was insulted by the village chief, she returned home and stabbed her body with scissors.

Very heartache, very heartache

Ali picked my chin, and a rare touch of heartache appeared on his ugly face: I am just an insignificant thug in the Red Chamber. I don’t have the ability to prevent others from touching you. All I can do is not touch you. Women, you have to be kind to yourself and don’t die at any time, because when a person dies, there is nothing left. But if you are alive, do you still have hope to know?

I didn't expect that this man I hate very much on weekdays could say this. After he said this, I cried even more heartbreakingly: Hope? Now I am not even as good as a dog. Is there any hope?

A complexity rose on Ali's face: At least you can live, right? Haven't you ever thought about how your family would feel once you die? Maybe you can't understand it, but I, who lost my sister, deeply know the pain of losing...

What does family feel?

I smiled miserably and looked at Ali who thought he was a good person in front of me with a sarcastic look: You know your feelings, but have you considered your sister's feelings? Do you think about my feelings? Do you know how bad we live and die? After all, you are just selfish people. In order to not bear the pain, you have to let us suffer this kind of pain that life is worse than death.

Ali was shocked when he heard this and smiled bitterly: I didn't expect this. Maybe my sister's departure is a good choice for her, but I hope you can survive.

Why?

I looked at Ali and Awei not far away with hatred: Are you living like a bitch?

Ali was speechless by me, and finally put a few words in his mouth: I don't plan to touch you

I won't touch you anymore. Awei said in a deep voice.

You really won't touch me?

I don't believe it, men are the same, full of lies, saying that I won't touch you today, I will get you drunk tomorrow, take you to a hotel to open a room, and I have seen too many such things when I was studying in college.

real

Ali said seriously

I looked at Ali's ugly face, and suddenly calmed down and stopped crying. I asked calmly: Why do you have to live?

Ali lit a cigarette and said after a while: I don’t know, I just want you to survive anyway

OK, then give me a reason to live

At this moment, I began to hesitate. In fact, death is not scary. What is scary is the process of death. Especially after I hit the wall several times in a row, I became even more afraid of death. The reason why I asked Ali this was just to ask him to give me a reason to convince myself to live.

I don't want myself to think that I can abandon my shame and dignity in order to survive

Ali squatted beside me and thought for a long time, but he didn't come up with any reason to make me live. After all, it is not easy to have the courage to live. You know, I have been rewarded by Sister Wang to the thugs in the Red Chamber. Which woman is willing to become a tool for a group of men to vent their yu in order to survive?