Standing at the door, I took a few deep breaths, tried to calm my intense breathing, and then took out the key and opened the door.
I'll go back...
I swallowed it halfway through the conversation. The living room was pitch black, and only a ray of moonlight fell on the white wall, making it a little cold.
My father was so angry that he went on a business trip again, but my mother, who should be at home, was not there!
Where has she gone?Could it be a date with an adulterer?
My heart tightened, and my nerves were tightened reflexibly. I thought of the boy naturally, but I was soon replaced by a burst of joy.
On the way back, I was still thinking about how to stay up until midnight to find my mother's diary. Isn't this situation right now just in line with my wishes?
I didn't have the intention to care about my mother anymore, so I threw my shoes aside and rushed straight to the study.
I remember that my mother always writes diaries here, and I have seen her put them in the drawer after she finished writing.
I stopped hesitating, reached out to open the top drawer, and started rummaging excitedly.
Prepare a textbook?no.
Teaching materials?no!
textbook?no!
Mom's workbook?
Neither!
After searching for the last book, the most likely drawer in my memory was empty, but my mother's diary was gone.
How could it be!I clearly remember that my mother was here, did I remember it wrong!
impossible!
Dong!Dong!Dong!
The drawers and cabinet doors were opened one after another. I was like a thief who entered the house, rushing to search for the only treasure in my heart.
Before I knew it, the ground was already in chaos and chaotic, and my mood began to become anxious as the scope expanded.
No!
No!
Still not!
I was so anxious that I was sweating like rain, my heart became more and more impatient, and my movements became more and more rude, and I wished I could throw all these things downstairs.
Where, where, where, where is it!
When the last cabinet door was about to be hollowed out by me, my heart also sank to the bottom.
I begged God not to torture me anymore. Unexpectedly, a miracle actually happened!
When several elementary school textbooks were moved away, a plastic box that had been sealed for a long time suddenly appeared in front of me!
The black box, delicate lace, stained with a trace of gray!
I gasped quickly, quickly held it in my hand, and my heart began to jump up involuntarily.
The bottom cabinet door, the deepest corner, is hidden and weird!
My mother's diary is probably inside!
His hands trembled uncontrollably, his heart seemed to jump out of his chest, and time seemed to stop at this moment!
I opened it carefully and saw a white red thing suddenly appear in front of me!
It has a mighty face, eyes as big as duck eggs, and its arms crossed with a chic POSS!
Concave...concave and concave man!
I'll get out of your mom!
I was so angry that I could no longer hold it back. I roared and threw it hard to the ground, stood up and stepped on it!
I tried my best and sweated profusely, but I found such a thing. How could this make me feel full of passion?
Liu He Ah Liu He, you are so fucking obsessed!
I thought there was a secret when I saw everything. How could my mother's diary be placed in such a place!
This is clearly the cabinet where you piled up miscellaneous items when you were a child!
I'll fuck!
I kicked the garbage Ultraman aside with one kick, and I sat dejectedly on the ground, tidying up my messy thoughts.
My mother's diary was kept in the study before, so I could not remember it wrong. Unless there is really something ulterior mom can transfer it away?
But since there is a secret, she cannot leave it randomly. It is very likely to hide it in a hidden place. When will I find it aimlessly?
No, I can't give up!
During this period, I have lived in no human or ghost, no appetite, depressed, mentally depressed, insomnia at night, and often have nightmares!
I can't be tortured anymore, if I continue like this, I will be crazy!
I quickly stood up, rushed into my mother's bedroom, and continued to search through the cabinets at home.
Garages, cabinets, crevices in corners, under the sheets.
After failing to find it, I quickly rushed into the kitchen, bathroom, living room and balcony. I carefully searched for every place, and I did not give up every corner, and even the lid of the flushing on the toilet was lifted up by me!
Impossible, impossible!Must be at home!It must be at home!
I had fallen into a kind of paranoia, walking around the house like a possessed person.
When everything was nothing, I grabbed my hair angrily and rushed into my bedroom unwillingly!
This is my last hope!It is also the place where I have no hope!
But I can't give up!
After more than ten minutes, when I pulled open my most commonly used trunk and found this notebook-like thing under the bottom of a bunch of things, I could no longer feel my heartbeat.
My vision gradually blurred, tears rolled in my eyes, and an inexplicable sadness stuck in my chest, making me feel mixed and mixed feelings.
It's this...it's this!
Shocked, joyful, sad, scared, torture for more than a month, nightmare for dozens of days, worry!
What the hell am I doing!
Mom...you are so cunning!
Woo woo woo woo woo... I couldn't help crying loudly anymore.
My grievances, my sadness, my disappointment with my mother, and my resentment towards my adulterer were all gathered together at this moment.
My heart has endured too much. I am just a 16-year-old child. I want to vent and vent all the heavy things in my heart!
Tears dripped like a burst of floods. My body trembled violently and was uncontrollable. The complex emotions in my heart spread wildly like fermented bacteria, and it was dense in a blink of an eye.
The scenes of the past flashed through my mind like movie films, sweet, unbearable, aggrieved, heartbroken, and desperate, and finally disappeared into the distance, gradually moving away!
After erasing the last tear, I looked at the diary in my hand with my swollen eyes, and my mood gradually calmed down.
The most dangerous place is the safest place. Mom obviously knows this truth.
I never dreamed that in my dream, my mother's biggest secret was hidden in the drawer I used most!
Why did she do this?
Are you guarding against your father, or have you noticed my abnormality?
I don't know, and I don't have time to think about it.
Now I just want to know what my mother has gone through and why she has made such a big change.
Maybe I have cried, maybe I have achieved my goal, I am not as excited as I thought, and my heart is as faint as the calm lake, without a trace of turmoil.
Open the diary, a page of beautiful words imprinted into my eyes:
Tuesday, November 3, 2011, sunny.
Life is so fast that the midterm exam is about to enter.
I'm busy sorting out the key points of the exam these days, and I'm really tired.
Thinking of those cute students, I thought of my son again, and I wonder if he has made any progress this semester.
Haha, probably not. I don’t know where this child has inherited us. Jianguo and I were both college students in the 1990s, so why did we give birth to such a bad son?
Why can’t I learn to be naughty when I’ve never seen him?
It's really a headache.
Alas, I hope he won’t get the last exam this semester!
After reading this diary, my face was red and hot.
I didn’t expect that my mother would be so unconfident in me, which is really angering.
But...this is true again, what can I say?
I don’t know why I just can’t learn. Every time I take the exam, I take turns to sit on the throne of the last second and second place.
I was thinking before, what should I do if Wang Qiang transfers to school and sit firmly in the first place?
Oh!Thinking of this, I couldn't help but smile and my mood had completely calmed down.
Sunday, November 25, 2011, cloudy.
The sky is haze, cold wind and drizzle, and raindrops keep filling the gap in the sky, but they are always wandering in the gap.
Looking at the empty room, I suddenly felt a little lonely.
I thought I was used to it, but listening to the sound of lingering outside the window, the feeling was still like ink dizzying, getting thicker and thicker.
Jianguo is getting busier and busier now, and I don’t know when it will be.
My son is not sensible yet, so he runs out after holidays.
The whole home is deserted and without a trace of warmth.
Yesterday, Rumei's husband came to pick her up. I watched foolishly until the two disappeared from sight and woke up.Once upon a time, Jianguo often came to pick me up, but as time passed, those warm pictures gradually blurred like yellowed photos!
Saturday, December 5, 2011, it was cloudy.
It's raining again, and it's not stopping.I had a quarrel with Jianguo, and my heart was so sad.
I don't know when he started to change.
Become selfish, become selfish, become strange.
Now this family doesn’t need too much material resources at all. They have savings, cars, and houses. Why don’t he want to come back?
In the past, I only thought that this was a man's enterprising spirit, but I never thought that one day it would evolve into a greedy desire for power. Could it be that the position of deputy general manager of a state-owned enterprise could make him give up his family, his son, and me?
I am just an ordinary woman, and I also need people to accompany me, comfort me, and warm me in the cold night.
But this simple and ordinary thing has become a luxury.
The rain is getting heavier and heavier, and my heart is getting emptyer... I stared at the last sentence in a daze, unable to move my eyes for a long time.A strong feeling of sadness surged, spreading rapidly in my heart like a fog.My mother's heart is so sad. Wouldn't the smile she smiled and cheerful in front of me be fake?
For a moment, my heart was a little confused, and the scene of my mother facing the empty room alone could not be removed in my mind.
No one to accompany, no one to speak, no one to comfort.
I never thought that a strong mother would have such a soft side in her heart. As her closest person, I not only did not spend time with her mother, but instead ran to the Internet cafe whenever I had free time!
Why am I so ignorant?
Why are you so stupid?
Why can’t you notice your mother’s heart?
I feel ashamed, blame myself, and heartache!I cursed myself hard, my heart was cut.
Immediately afterwards, I thought of that cruel man!
This bastard doesn’t understand his mother’s heart at all and does not fulfill his responsibilities as a husband at all!
Vice President, Vice President, for the sake of SB Vice President, hurt his mother's heart and made her sad. He was not worthy of being her husband at all!
At this moment, I forgot everything. My mother's cheating and my betrayal are no longer important.
Only her goodness is in my heart, her bright smile, careful care, gentle appearance, and warm pictures of the past appear one by one, filling my heart covered with scars bit by bit.
Only then did I realize that at some point I had been blinded by deep jealousy and anger, and had forgotten her meticulous care for me for more than ten years!
Liu He, you are such a fucking bastard, bastard!
Mom, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry!
It’s my fault. Xiaohe will accompany you more in the future and will not make you sad again!
Taking a few deep breaths and packing up my guilt, I opened my mother's diary again.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011, sunny.
During class today, I suddenly found a new classmate coming in.
He is handsome, sunny, tall and big, and looks really good. At least after teaching for so many years, I have never seen such a beautiful boy.
It should have been welcomed, but I was a little worried.
Based on my past experience, beautiful men and women often do not do their jobs and rarely focus on their studies. I hope they will not disappoint people, otherwise I would be too sorry for this face.
By the way, the girls in the class should be careful, haha...
Seeing this, I couldn't help laughing. It turned out that my mother's first impression of Lie Sacrifice was like this. What I didn't expect was that my mother had such a humorous side. She sternly told me not to fall in love early, but asked the girls in the class to be careful. It was so funny!
However, this guy Lie Ji is indeed handsome, has a good family background, a good personality, and has a good study. I don’t know how this guy was born. I heard that the beautiful and sexy Lin Yuexue was delivered to him automatically!
Alas, it’s really a comparison between people, it’s so annoying!
Wednesday, February 12, 2012.After the Chinese New Year, a new semester has ushered in. I haven’t seen the students for a long time. I really miss it... I looked at my mother’s diary one by one and became fascinated without realizing it.
The festive New Year, the busy life, and the trivial matters of daily life were selected as the honor of an outstanding teacher!
Everything and mood are all in front of you.
I seemed to have entered my mother's inner world, happy with her happiness, sad with her sadness, and felt her delicate emotions truly and clearly.
The relationship between dad and mom eased, but then several fierce quarrels broke out.
The Lie Festival did not disappoint my mother. With her serious learning attitude and positive classroom speech, she won her love and became her mother's representative of her history subject after an exam.
Seeing him in many diaries, I know that my mother likes this student from the bottom of my heart, and I am also happy to be a friend.
What will my mother write next? It really makes people look forward to Ah...
Twisting my neck, I opened a new page with unfulfilled wish, but a few twisted and abrupt words were like cruel demons, instantly pulling me into the dark hell, never reborn!
I was raped!
The irregular strokes are deeply trapped, as if they want to carve the paper through!
Mom was raped!?
Shocked, shocked, unbelievable!
This information churned violently in my heart like a tsunami, causing me to sink into the abyss that was so cold that it could penetrate the bones!
How could it be!How is that possible!
I widened my eyes, as if I wanted to see through the paper. The irregular strokes were obviously trembling, as if I had used all my strength!
The uneven marks on the paper after drying are clearly...
Tears!
Mother!Mom was raped!How is this possible? How could this happen!
My head buzzed and blankly, and except for the shock, I had completely lost my ability to think.
Looking at the twisted and trembling words, I seemed to see what my mother looked like at that time, in pain and despair, and her fingers were trembling. She wrote humiliating words in her diary, tears dripping and then shattered into countless pieces!
What kind of humiliation is that?What a despair!
Who is it, who raped his mother?Who raped her mother?
Qi and blood rushed to the forehead in an instant, and the blue veins on my forehead suddenly rose. I stared like a wild lion with blood-red eyes, and my hands were grasped into a ball, and my nails were deeply trapped in the flesh until I lost consciousness in the pain!
I was flipping through my mother's diary like crazy, looking for the name inside at a glance. I didn't think about anything now and didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to find him and find this damn bastard!
I was raped again!
He once again possessed me!God, what should I do!
I can't bear such torture!
sky!Who will save me!
The paper turned page by page, but the only words that appeared in my eyes were helpless and begging!
It's like the most vicious curse that tortures me repeatedly!
Feeling my mother’s desperate words, I felt like I had entered the passage of time stagnation and endured endless torture!
My heart was shattered, and with my mother's begging words, it was shattered into countless pieces!
No one can tell, no one can ask for help, he can only make the most helpless and sad cry in his heart!
What kind of mood is that, and what kind of heart-wrenching feeling is it?
Mom, mom, mom!Tears dripped again, and the pain of heart was like a knife!
Thursday, April 9, 2012, sunny.
Today, he once again possessed me, my favorite student and my most trusted class representative.
I never thought that such a lewd side was hidden under his handsome and sunny face.
Why is he like this? Why do he have so many evil means?
Is this still the student with a bright smile and gentle smile?
Am I the most intimate teacher he always says?
I don't know, I just feel deeply heartache and disappointment!
It's him!
It turned out to be him!It turned out to be him!!
For a moment, my head exploded with a bang.
Shocked, despair, heartache, blank!
I widened my eyes and looked at my mother's diary in disbelief, feeling dizzy and heartbroken!
Why, why is it him?
My best partner?
My most trusted friend!
That sincere eyes and bright smile have been fighting side by side with me, never leaving me!
Even tonight, we were talking about mothers and communicating feelings!
Fake!Fake!All are fake!All are fake!I roared loudly like madness, tears gushing like a spring.
The continuous blows came one after another, making me unable to bear it anymore.
I feel like I'm about to collapse!
My favorite mom was raped!
My most trusted friend betrayed me!
I was fooled around like a fool!
What else is more devastating than this!What else is more desperate than this!
Schizo Sacrifice... Schizo Sacrifice!Split sacrifice!I yelled and took out my cell phone and made a hurry. I didn't think about anything anymore, I didn't want to do anything, I just wanted to vent my hatred!
Slit Sacrifice, you beast!You raped my mom!Are you still human?You beast in a dress, why are you this thing? I am so blind and I actually call you brothers!You bastard, scum!You are not a human!I want to kill you, I want to kill you!I screamed and cursed like a roaring lion, using all the most vicious words I knew, but it was far from enough to vent my anger!
Son of a bitch!Are you talking about the fuck, is it mute?Are you very good at talking in normal times? If you lie to me again, you will continue to lie to me again!Let's see if you can continue to lie to me!I roared hatefully, with the hoarseness of crying, and the pain and anger in my heart still tormented me.
It seems you know it all.After a while, the calm voice of Lieji came over.
Know!Of course I know!I gritted my teeth hard, wishing I could eat him alive, you are a scumbag!Son of a bitch!I have seen through your true face!You are a complete beast!
Li Ji paused for a while and said calmly: Yes, I am a beast.
You are not even as good as beasts!
Listening to his calm words, I felt like I was bitten by a mad dog, and my fierce anger seemed to burn my body out. You still look like this!Are you still a fucking human?Do you still have shame?Your conscience is eaten by the dog!?
Lie Ji said sincerely: You are my friend, so no matter how you scold me, I will accept it calmly!
You're going to lie to me!?
I couldn't control the words "Friends" when I heard them. I was rudely angry. "You will rape my mother if you are a friend?"If you are a friend, you will lie to me one after another?Is it a friend who would do such a thing that is worse than beasts?Don’t talk about this to me. I feel disgusted when I hear your voice now!
call……
Lie Ji took a deep breath, and after a long silence, he said lightly: Ahe, you look very excited now. Wait until you think about it carefully and calm down. We will have a calm conversation tomorrow. Teacher Li is with me now, so you don’t have to worry, goodbye.
What?Mom is here with you?You fuckingly return your mom to me!I roared loudly, and the veins on my forehead swelled, but before I could finish speaking, a blind voice of beeping came from the phone.
This bastard dares to hang up my phone!
I called him a few times again, but he refused.
Why, why is this happening!
I thought of his last words, and the anger in my heart was hard to calm down.
Mom is with him now?
After being raped, he even volunteered to be with him!
Is she crazy?Has she been brainwashed?Is the request for help fake?Are tears illusory?
I will never forget that night, and I will never forget what she said to Lieji. She loves him, thinks about him all the time, and is more willing to have sex with him on the phone, without shame!
This world!What the hell is going on!
Walking in the bed and thinking about these cruel blows, I felt extremely tired.
The faces of my mother and Lie Ji kept flashing in my mind, family and friendship were intertwined in my heart, and then they turned into sharp sword lights, cutting my heart full of holes.
I am so tired that every day of the past month has been suffering, and I am just living like a year.
I am just a 16-year-old boy, why should I treat me so cruelly!
No answer.
Before I knew it, I fell asleep with tears in my eyes, and the dream appeared again: on the sunny street, the little boy happily ate ice cream with a balloon, and the white cream made his face lose.
A white tissue was pasted on the boy's tender face. In the white space, the beautiful face was filled with tenderness like water!
Very beautiful!
Mother……
When I woke up from my dream, I felt a cold face. I touched it with my hands and found that it was full of tears.
Looking at the wet marks in my hand, I was stunned, and a sadness that wanted to cry loudly surged into my heart again.
I picked up the diary beside me, and my fingers trembled and turned it open again, without any resentment, and after these cruel tortures, I was already dead and exhausted.
Sunday, April 14, 2012, sunny.
I came to school as promised and sat in the office with trepidation.
My heart was a little confused, a little frightened, and I was jumping hard.
It's been over a week and I know what's waiting for me.
Photos, photography, obscene words, and filthy words are endless.
I suddenly felt like a wounded rabbit, and could only watch the hunter approaching and helplessly.
He is a demon!Yes, that demon will try every means to insult me!
Thursday, April 18, 2012, sunny.
After evening self-study, he followed me to the office.
Half a month has passed since he... that me.
These days I live in fear and worry every day, afraid of being discovered by my colleagues and afraid of being known by Xiaohe. I feel that everyone's eyes look at me are unusual.
I know, this is my illusion, but I really can't bear it...
Friday, April 19, 2012, cloudy.
I told myself that I could not continue like this. The shame in my heart and the guilt towards founding the country were like thorns all over the ground torture me back and forth, making me have nightmares every night.
Whenever I look at Xiaohe’s innocent and clear eyes, I feel ashamed that I dare not look at him.
I am his mother, but I was raped again and again by a boy of the same age as him.
Those humiliating scenes flashed in my mind all the time.
Tears and despair, dignity and trampling, tortured me all over my body.
I decided to have a good talk with him.
I looked at him seriously and taught him that it was wrong in the tone of an elder.
He is still young, has a bright future, Lin Yuexue's girlfriend, and I even repeatedly threaten him by calling the police.
Yes, this idea has appeared in my mind countless times and called the police to put him in jail!
But my weakness as a woman makes me feel anxious and walking on thin ice.
I have never hated the identity of a woman so much. It not only allowed me to enjoy the greatness of being a mother, but also firmly imprison me like an invisible cage. At the same time, deep in my heart, I don’t want to ruin him for the rest of my life...
It's ridiculous, really ridiculous!
It was clearly him who committed the crime, but I still had this damn compassion!
Am I crazy?
As a result, he raped me again...
I know I have no choice...
Sunday, April 23, 2012, sunny.
On Sunday, the breeze is gentle and the sun is shining.
But I can't be happy, which means I will belong to him all day long.
Facing the camera and the evil methods, I have gradually gotten used to it, but I still feel extremely shy.
I don’t know why he has so many strange tricks, nor why he is so experienced when he is with women. I even think evilly, is he thinking about these lustful things every day?
I don't know, but I have to go out now.
Monday, May 1, 2012, it was cloudy.
The hellish May Day holiday is still here. I look forward to it every year, but now it scares me.
This means I have to be with him for the whole seven days, enduring his endless humiliation and training to me.
It has been a month, and he asks me three or four times a week. He is still so energetic, as if he is exhausted.
What about this week?I've already started trembling.
Wednesday, May 4, 2012, sunny.
When I woke up in the morning, I put on exquisite makeup.
I drew foundation, eyeshadow, and eyebrows very carefully. Every stroke is carefully depicted, and every stroke makes me feel happy.
After finishing the painting, I looked at myself blankly, full of shock.
Why do I dress like this, why do I wear sexy clothes?
Who am I for?
That devil!
For a moment, my heart felt a deep fear.
Saturday, May 6, 2012, sunny.
Last night, I was lying in bed and tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep.
I thought about what happened during this period carefully, and finally I was frightened to find that I seemed to be becoming more and more addicted to it!
These days, or in just these 5 days, I have had more orgasms than in my previous lifetime!
I seemed to live in a paradise of climax, one after another, endless and endless.
The feeling of being humiliated by him, the pleasure of being stimulated by lustful means, and the extreme excitement when facing the camera made me intoxicated and unwilling to wake up.
I was scared, I was ashamed of my lewdness, I told myself that I was her teacher, the mother of a child, and the wife of a husband!
But when facing the crazy pleasure, the defense lines I worked hard to build collapsed in an instant, disappearing without a trace.
I feel like I have changed, and I can no longer understand my heart...
Sunday, May 7, 2012, cloudy.
On the last day of May Day, when I saw his handsome face, I didn't feel any fear, but instead felt a little inexplicably happy.
He said he wanted to take me to a place, and just one sentence, I followed him obediently as if he was possessed by evil spirits.
In this way, we came to City W next door.
Strange streets, strange crowds, me and him.
Walking on the bustling streets and watching the crowds coming and going, a long-lost sweetness suddenly surged in my heart, and in the blink of an eye it was like ripples rippling.
Dating!
I don't know why, but I immediately thought of this word.
The bright sunshine, the warm spring breeze, walking on the street with a man in his arms, isn’t this a scene that often appears on TV?
I told myself that I was crazy, that I was forced, that he raped me!
I began to feel scared again.
It’s not about him, but about him. I should have hated him, but now I have such a ridiculous idea. I hate myself like this!
But soon I lost the ability to think, and the lower body wearing only transparent pantyhose, the vibrator began to vibrate again, and it numbed my body in just a short while.
I have been suffering from such shameful tricks countless times in the past month, and he always smiles with a harmless and bright smile of people and animals.
I really can't understand him. Sometimes it's gentle and sometimes it's chilling.
The vibrator vibrated faster and faster, and my face became redder and redder. I walked hard with my legs wearing high heels, following each other, like walking on thin ice.
My body began to burn like flames, and my lower body was like a flood that broke the dam.
My mind was filled with shame and lustful thoughts. The scenes that made me humiliated in the past were like aphrodisiacs that bewitched my thinking, impacted my reason, and gradually lost in the endless lust.
He looked at me innocently, asking about his well-being, his eyes clear, without any desire.
With such a look, who can know that his harmless face is an extremely lewd heart?
He is waiting for me to make that shameful request!
I have resisted countless times, but he would turn off the vibrator when I couldn't stand it, and then turn it on again after I calmed down. I could only surrender under his lewd means again and again.
Looking at the pedestrians passing by, I once again had the illusion of shame: as a teacher of teaching and educating, I stood on the street, and the people around me had seen through everything about me.
There were no underwear, only a transparent black silk covering my flooded lower body. The juice of shame gushed out, wetting my legs. The vibrator sound of vibrating the lower body seemed to have been amplified countless times and entered everyone's ears.
Everyone looked at me with contempt and disdain, cursing in their hearts that shameless, slut, shameless!
One by one, the words that made me feel ashamed appeared in my mind, but I got the perverted pleasure in this extreme fantasy.
My identity is no longer a burden for me to imprison, but has become a tool for me to gain pleasure!
As a respected teacher, he is doing such a lewd thing on the crowded streets...
Dignity and humiliation, reason and pleasure are in a fierce confrontation.
My body was burning violently, sweat oozing out layer by layer, steaming and grilling to create an increasingly lewd smell.
Every pore of mine seemed to be glowing and heating, constantly transmitting signals of joy, and in the end, more and more, more and more until I was completely submerged...
Looking at his clear eyes, I knew I would surrender again...
In the narrow toilet in the mall, in my lewd and shameful begging, he penetrated deeply through me.
For a moment, I felt as if I had entered a wonderful paradise, and my body was rippling lightly in the clouds.
The feeling of the lower body being filled with thick and hot is so satisfying.
It stirred violently, rushing back and forth, and the collapsed current shot everywhere, like sharp arrows piercing through my body, filling the seemingly endless void in my heart.
Every cell of my cell was moaning happily, and every pore was shrinking excitedly.
In the narrow space, in the depressed environment, listening to the footsteps walking back and forth outside the door panel, I covered my lips tightly like a drowning child, my mind was blank, like a sinner who had sucked drugs living in the illusion of nothingness.
I could no longer hear anything, only his heavy breathing and the sound of his body ramming.
My body seemed to no longer exist. Only his powerful collision and violent twitching pushed me up to the turbulent waves again and again, throwing me into the vast sky until it was destroyed and my soul was scattered...
I know, I'm almost done...
Monday, May 8, 2012, sunny.
Maybe he was tired, maybe he didn't have time, and he didn't come to me today, so I breathed a deep breath.
Looking at the diary I wrote yesterday, I felt deeply ashamed. I was only going to write a little bit, but I couldn't help but write it like this...
Am I becoming lewd?When I came back, I couldn't help but think of him!
Tuesday, May 9, 2012, sunny.
After class, I quickly left the classroom, but strangely he didn't come with me.
But this is good, so as not to do anything humiliating to me again. I can't indulge him like this anymore!
But why, now I start thinking about him?
This bastard!Rapeman!Go and die!
Thursday, May 11, 2012, sunny.
He didn't come to me after connecting for a few days. For some reason, I felt a little disappointed.
Did something happen to him?
But it’s not like that. He still smiles when he sees me, and he speaks very seriously and actively. What’s wrong with him? Are he playing some conspiracies?
Pooh!What does it have to do with me!sleep!
Sunday, May 14, 2012, sunny.
I started to be worried and depressed, and I vaguely realized something was wrong.
He hasn't looked for me for a whole seven days, which is almost impossible in the past!
Every Sunday, he would let me go out, but I waited all day and he didn't call me!
What happened to him? Is something happening to his family? Or is it something wrong?
Tomorrow, I'm going to try him tomorrow!
Monday, May 15, 2012, it was cloudy.
Is he... tired of me?
Why are you so cold to me?
Why does the smile make me feel like an invisible wall?
My heart was a little trembling and a little scared. I felt like a homeless child who was abandoned by my family at the intersection of night...
Friday, May 19, 2012, cloudy.
He doesn't want me anymore!He really doesn't want me anymore!It has been more than ten days, and he has hardly said a word to me except for speaking in class. Why?Why do you do this to me!I played with me but abandoned me!
Saturday, May 20, 2012, cloudy.
I don’t know when it started, but I think of him every day. This kind of longing is like a crazy vine growing, and it is dense in the blink of an eye.
I began to look at my phone frequently and started to postpone my time home. Even if I didn’t have evening self-study, I would stay in the office and look forward to his appearance.
But, never once.
I learned to be jealous, to a 16-year-old girl, Lin Yuexue.
Whenever I see him and her intimate appearance and see him smiling gently, my heart hurts deeply as if it was cut by a knife.
His smile originally belonged to me, why did he give it to another woman?
Am I crazy?
Yes, I'm crazy!
I actually developed feelings for a student who raped me!
I no longer feel resentment, fear, and shame!
In fact, I no longer resisted in late April. I am just a hypocritical woman. I can obviously refuse fiercely. Why should I listen to him obediently?
Am I just giving myself a reason and a fig leaf?
I have already understood my heart, I miss him, I really miss him...
Wednesday, May 25, 2012, sunny.
I can no longer bear this torture. I feel poisoned. I want him and I want him to be with him!
Thursday, May 26, 2012, sunny.
I made an appointment with him to meet on the roof.
Facing the night wind, my heart was a little nervous and nervous.
I had thought of running away, but my feet were as unmovable as if they had roots.
The moment I saw him, all my thoughts seemed to solidify, and my heart was filled with long-lost joy!
He came and did not refuse me.
He still looked the same, still had the same smile, elegant and handsome, smiling and cynical.
When he approached and looked at me, the long-lost aggressive and hot eyes melted me in an instant.
I have been waiting for too long. I miss his look. It tells me that he has not abandoned me and has not left me cruelly.
A sense of satisfaction and happiness surged into my heart, making me throw myself into his arms regardless of everything, put down the woman's reserve, and put down the dignity of being an elder, but I didn't care at all.
I kissed him frantically, like a fish leaving the water, greedily sucking his tongue, mouth, and lips.
He also hugged me tightly, and his hands domineeringly possessed my body that should belong to me.
My body was like an ice of flames, which quickly turned into a pool of spring water under his greedy caress.
I kept asking him if he loved me or if he loved me!
When I heard his tough answer, I had no strength at all and was completely softened in his arms.
He is always so domineering when intimate, and does not leave me any dignity.
I used to hate so much, but now I am so obsessed with it, like a strong cage that imprisons me tightly, belonging to him alone.
He kissed my neck, and his slippery tongue flexibly wandered on every inch of my skin, bringing me a burst of intoxicating itching.
But his hands were so rough, rubbing my breasts and buttocks hard, leaving a hot and indelible mark on my body.
I like his tenderness and his domineeringness. Under his caress, I felt like I was about to suffocate. The scorching pleasure was like burning gasoline scorching my body.
My heart is trembling and my nerves are swelling. I never thought that just caressing and foreplay can make people excited to climax!
He asked me all kinds of lewd and obscene questions in a lewd and dirty way, with his charming smile.
I moaned loudly, without any force or resistance.
I excitedly told him that I was a slut, a bitch, and his slutty little slutty pussy.
When I finished these words, my soul seemed to be about to fly, and a huge pleasure pleasantly felt like a surging wave, which drowned me in the deep seabed in the blink of an eye.
I am a teacher and a proud wife, but I speak these dirty words to my students!
Shame and dignity, humiliation and reason to torture me back and forth, and finally, under his fiery caress, it was purified into the purest pleasure.
The juice of shame kept pouring out, and the heat and itching deep in the lower body flashed with the most obscene signals.
I kept saying the lustful words I dared not speak in the past, longing for the perverted pleasure that makes people's soul twist.
I felt lost, and in the thick mist of desire, I could no longer find my way home.
My breathing became more and more rapid, and my body was so hot that it seemed to explode.
I haven't had sex for nearly a month, and it urged me to make a lewd plea in eagerness.
But he still tortured me with a smile, and used the man's lewd lower body to destroy me with the bottom line that no longer had a bottom line.
The smell of the cock spreads on the tip of my nose, stimulating my excited nerves.
I sniffed deeply, like a drug-absorbed indulge in this lewd smell.
At this moment, I thought of the scene when he occupied me countless times. It was hot, thick, with barbaric aggressiveness, like a sharp sword, penetrated my body hard, and then thrust vigorously, twisting violently, with the pleasure of electric current!
I'm about to collapse!
A large stream of honey juice poured out from the depths of the uterus, as if it was about to wash out my soul!
I actually reached the ultimate climax just by fantasy!
I knew I was finished, and the moment he ejaculated inside me, I knew I could never go back.
I have completely betrayed my husband and family. The virtuous and kind woman who vowed her when she got married has already fallen asleep in her heart and will never be awakened again!
I'll go back...
I swallowed it halfway through the conversation. The living room was pitch black, and only a ray of moonlight fell on the white wall, making it a little cold.
My father was so angry that he went on a business trip again, but my mother, who should be at home, was not there!
Where has she gone?Could it be a date with an adulterer?
My heart tightened, and my nerves were tightened reflexibly. I thought of the boy naturally, but I was soon replaced by a burst of joy.
On the way back, I was still thinking about how to stay up until midnight to find my mother's diary. Isn't this situation right now just in line with my wishes?
I didn't have the intention to care about my mother anymore, so I threw my shoes aside and rushed straight to the study.
I remember that my mother always writes diaries here, and I have seen her put them in the drawer after she finished writing.
I stopped hesitating, reached out to open the top drawer, and started rummaging excitedly.
Prepare a textbook?no.
Teaching materials?no!
textbook?no!
Mom's workbook?
Neither!
After searching for the last book, the most likely drawer in my memory was empty, but my mother's diary was gone.
How could it be!I clearly remember that my mother was here, did I remember it wrong!
impossible!
Dong!Dong!Dong!
The drawers and cabinet doors were opened one after another. I was like a thief who entered the house, rushing to search for the only treasure in my heart.
Before I knew it, the ground was already in chaos and chaotic, and my mood began to become anxious as the scope expanded.
No!
No!
Still not!
I was so anxious that I was sweating like rain, my heart became more and more impatient, and my movements became more and more rude, and I wished I could throw all these things downstairs.
Where, where, where, where is it!
When the last cabinet door was about to be hollowed out by me, my heart also sank to the bottom.
I begged God not to torture me anymore. Unexpectedly, a miracle actually happened!
When several elementary school textbooks were moved away, a plastic box that had been sealed for a long time suddenly appeared in front of me!
The black box, delicate lace, stained with a trace of gray!
I gasped quickly, quickly held it in my hand, and my heart began to jump up involuntarily.
The bottom cabinet door, the deepest corner, is hidden and weird!
My mother's diary is probably inside!
His hands trembled uncontrollably, his heart seemed to jump out of his chest, and time seemed to stop at this moment!
I opened it carefully and saw a white red thing suddenly appear in front of me!
It has a mighty face, eyes as big as duck eggs, and its arms crossed with a chic POSS!
Concave...concave and concave man!
I'll get out of your mom!
I was so angry that I could no longer hold it back. I roared and threw it hard to the ground, stood up and stepped on it!
I tried my best and sweated profusely, but I found such a thing. How could this make me feel full of passion?
Liu He Ah Liu He, you are so fucking obsessed!
I thought there was a secret when I saw everything. How could my mother's diary be placed in such a place!
This is clearly the cabinet where you piled up miscellaneous items when you were a child!
I'll fuck!
I kicked the garbage Ultraman aside with one kick, and I sat dejectedly on the ground, tidying up my messy thoughts.
My mother's diary was kept in the study before, so I could not remember it wrong. Unless there is really something ulterior mom can transfer it away?
But since there is a secret, she cannot leave it randomly. It is very likely to hide it in a hidden place. When will I find it aimlessly?
No, I can't give up!
During this period, I have lived in no human or ghost, no appetite, depressed, mentally depressed, insomnia at night, and often have nightmares!
I can't be tortured anymore, if I continue like this, I will be crazy!
I quickly stood up, rushed into my mother's bedroom, and continued to search through the cabinets at home.
Garages, cabinets, crevices in corners, under the sheets.
After failing to find it, I quickly rushed into the kitchen, bathroom, living room and balcony. I carefully searched for every place, and I did not give up every corner, and even the lid of the flushing on the toilet was lifted up by me!
Impossible, impossible!Must be at home!It must be at home!
I had fallen into a kind of paranoia, walking around the house like a possessed person.
When everything was nothing, I grabbed my hair angrily and rushed into my bedroom unwillingly!
This is my last hope!It is also the place where I have no hope!
But I can't give up!
After more than ten minutes, when I pulled open my most commonly used trunk and found this notebook-like thing under the bottom of a bunch of things, I could no longer feel my heartbeat.
My vision gradually blurred, tears rolled in my eyes, and an inexplicable sadness stuck in my chest, making me feel mixed and mixed feelings.
It's this...it's this!
Shocked, joyful, sad, scared, torture for more than a month, nightmare for dozens of days, worry!
What the hell am I doing!
Mom...you are so cunning!
Woo woo woo woo woo... I couldn't help crying loudly anymore.
My grievances, my sadness, my disappointment with my mother, and my resentment towards my adulterer were all gathered together at this moment.
My heart has endured too much. I am just a 16-year-old child. I want to vent and vent all the heavy things in my heart!
Tears dripped like a burst of floods. My body trembled violently and was uncontrollable. The complex emotions in my heart spread wildly like fermented bacteria, and it was dense in a blink of an eye.
The scenes of the past flashed through my mind like movie films, sweet, unbearable, aggrieved, heartbroken, and desperate, and finally disappeared into the distance, gradually moving away!
After erasing the last tear, I looked at the diary in my hand with my swollen eyes, and my mood gradually calmed down.
The most dangerous place is the safest place. Mom obviously knows this truth.
I never dreamed that in my dream, my mother's biggest secret was hidden in the drawer I used most!
Why did she do this?
Are you guarding against your father, or have you noticed my abnormality?
I don't know, and I don't have time to think about it.
Now I just want to know what my mother has gone through and why she has made such a big change.
Maybe I have cried, maybe I have achieved my goal, I am not as excited as I thought, and my heart is as faint as the calm lake, without a trace of turmoil.
Open the diary, a page of beautiful words imprinted into my eyes:
Tuesday, November 3, 2011, sunny.
Life is so fast that the midterm exam is about to enter.
I'm busy sorting out the key points of the exam these days, and I'm really tired.
Thinking of those cute students, I thought of my son again, and I wonder if he has made any progress this semester.
Haha, probably not. I don’t know where this child has inherited us. Jianguo and I were both college students in the 1990s, so why did we give birth to such a bad son?
Why can’t I learn to be naughty when I’ve never seen him?
It's really a headache.
Alas, I hope he won’t get the last exam this semester!
After reading this diary, my face was red and hot.
I didn’t expect that my mother would be so unconfident in me, which is really angering.
But...this is true again, what can I say?
I don’t know why I just can’t learn. Every time I take the exam, I take turns to sit on the throne of the last second and second place.
I was thinking before, what should I do if Wang Qiang transfers to school and sit firmly in the first place?
Oh!Thinking of this, I couldn't help but smile and my mood had completely calmed down.
Sunday, November 25, 2011, cloudy.
The sky is haze, cold wind and drizzle, and raindrops keep filling the gap in the sky, but they are always wandering in the gap.
Looking at the empty room, I suddenly felt a little lonely.
I thought I was used to it, but listening to the sound of lingering outside the window, the feeling was still like ink dizzying, getting thicker and thicker.
Jianguo is getting busier and busier now, and I don’t know when it will be.
My son is not sensible yet, so he runs out after holidays.
The whole home is deserted and without a trace of warmth.
Yesterday, Rumei's husband came to pick her up. I watched foolishly until the two disappeared from sight and woke up.Once upon a time, Jianguo often came to pick me up, but as time passed, those warm pictures gradually blurred like yellowed photos!
Saturday, December 5, 2011, it was cloudy.
It's raining again, and it's not stopping.I had a quarrel with Jianguo, and my heart was so sad.
I don't know when he started to change.
Become selfish, become selfish, become strange.
Now this family doesn’t need too much material resources at all. They have savings, cars, and houses. Why don’t he want to come back?
In the past, I only thought that this was a man's enterprising spirit, but I never thought that one day it would evolve into a greedy desire for power. Could it be that the position of deputy general manager of a state-owned enterprise could make him give up his family, his son, and me?
I am just an ordinary woman, and I also need people to accompany me, comfort me, and warm me in the cold night.
But this simple and ordinary thing has become a luxury.
The rain is getting heavier and heavier, and my heart is getting emptyer... I stared at the last sentence in a daze, unable to move my eyes for a long time.A strong feeling of sadness surged, spreading rapidly in my heart like a fog.My mother's heart is so sad. Wouldn't the smile she smiled and cheerful in front of me be fake?
For a moment, my heart was a little confused, and the scene of my mother facing the empty room alone could not be removed in my mind.
No one to accompany, no one to speak, no one to comfort.
I never thought that a strong mother would have such a soft side in her heart. As her closest person, I not only did not spend time with her mother, but instead ran to the Internet cafe whenever I had free time!
Why am I so ignorant?
Why are you so stupid?
Why can’t you notice your mother’s heart?
I feel ashamed, blame myself, and heartache!I cursed myself hard, my heart was cut.
Immediately afterwards, I thought of that cruel man!
This bastard doesn’t understand his mother’s heart at all and does not fulfill his responsibilities as a husband at all!
Vice President, Vice President, for the sake of SB Vice President, hurt his mother's heart and made her sad. He was not worthy of being her husband at all!
At this moment, I forgot everything. My mother's cheating and my betrayal are no longer important.
Only her goodness is in my heart, her bright smile, careful care, gentle appearance, and warm pictures of the past appear one by one, filling my heart covered with scars bit by bit.
Only then did I realize that at some point I had been blinded by deep jealousy and anger, and had forgotten her meticulous care for me for more than ten years!
Liu He, you are such a fucking bastard, bastard!
Mom, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry!
It’s my fault. Xiaohe will accompany you more in the future and will not make you sad again!
Taking a few deep breaths and packing up my guilt, I opened my mother's diary again.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011, sunny.
During class today, I suddenly found a new classmate coming in.
He is handsome, sunny, tall and big, and looks really good. At least after teaching for so many years, I have never seen such a beautiful boy.
It should have been welcomed, but I was a little worried.
Based on my past experience, beautiful men and women often do not do their jobs and rarely focus on their studies. I hope they will not disappoint people, otherwise I would be too sorry for this face.
By the way, the girls in the class should be careful, haha...
Seeing this, I couldn't help laughing. It turned out that my mother's first impression of Lie Sacrifice was like this. What I didn't expect was that my mother had such a humorous side. She sternly told me not to fall in love early, but asked the girls in the class to be careful. It was so funny!
However, this guy Lie Ji is indeed handsome, has a good family background, a good personality, and has a good study. I don’t know how this guy was born. I heard that the beautiful and sexy Lin Yuexue was delivered to him automatically!
Alas, it’s really a comparison between people, it’s so annoying!
Wednesday, February 12, 2012.After the Chinese New Year, a new semester has ushered in. I haven’t seen the students for a long time. I really miss it... I looked at my mother’s diary one by one and became fascinated without realizing it.
The festive New Year, the busy life, and the trivial matters of daily life were selected as the honor of an outstanding teacher!
Everything and mood are all in front of you.
I seemed to have entered my mother's inner world, happy with her happiness, sad with her sadness, and felt her delicate emotions truly and clearly.
The relationship between dad and mom eased, but then several fierce quarrels broke out.
The Lie Festival did not disappoint my mother. With her serious learning attitude and positive classroom speech, she won her love and became her mother's representative of her history subject after an exam.
Seeing him in many diaries, I know that my mother likes this student from the bottom of my heart, and I am also happy to be a friend.
What will my mother write next? It really makes people look forward to Ah...
Twisting my neck, I opened a new page with unfulfilled wish, but a few twisted and abrupt words were like cruel demons, instantly pulling me into the dark hell, never reborn!
I was raped!
The irregular strokes are deeply trapped, as if they want to carve the paper through!
Mom was raped!?
Shocked, shocked, unbelievable!
This information churned violently in my heart like a tsunami, causing me to sink into the abyss that was so cold that it could penetrate the bones!
How could it be!How is that possible!
I widened my eyes, as if I wanted to see through the paper. The irregular strokes were obviously trembling, as if I had used all my strength!
The uneven marks on the paper after drying are clearly...
Tears!
Mother!Mom was raped!How is this possible? How could this happen!
My head buzzed and blankly, and except for the shock, I had completely lost my ability to think.
Looking at the twisted and trembling words, I seemed to see what my mother looked like at that time, in pain and despair, and her fingers were trembling. She wrote humiliating words in her diary, tears dripping and then shattered into countless pieces!
What kind of humiliation is that?What a despair!
Who is it, who raped his mother?Who raped her mother?
Qi and blood rushed to the forehead in an instant, and the blue veins on my forehead suddenly rose. I stared like a wild lion with blood-red eyes, and my hands were grasped into a ball, and my nails were deeply trapped in the flesh until I lost consciousness in the pain!
I was flipping through my mother's diary like crazy, looking for the name inside at a glance. I didn't think about anything now and didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to find him and find this damn bastard!
I was raped again!
He once again possessed me!God, what should I do!
I can't bear such torture!
sky!Who will save me!
The paper turned page by page, but the only words that appeared in my eyes were helpless and begging!
It's like the most vicious curse that tortures me repeatedly!
Feeling my mother’s desperate words, I felt like I had entered the passage of time stagnation and endured endless torture!
My heart was shattered, and with my mother's begging words, it was shattered into countless pieces!
No one can tell, no one can ask for help, he can only make the most helpless and sad cry in his heart!
What kind of mood is that, and what kind of heart-wrenching feeling is it?
Mom, mom, mom!Tears dripped again, and the pain of heart was like a knife!
Thursday, April 9, 2012, sunny.
Today, he once again possessed me, my favorite student and my most trusted class representative.
I never thought that such a lewd side was hidden under his handsome and sunny face.
Why is he like this? Why do he have so many evil means?
Is this still the student with a bright smile and gentle smile?
Am I the most intimate teacher he always says?
I don't know, I just feel deeply heartache and disappointment!
It's him!
It turned out to be him!It turned out to be him!!
For a moment, my head exploded with a bang.
Shocked, despair, heartache, blank!
I widened my eyes and looked at my mother's diary in disbelief, feeling dizzy and heartbroken!
Why, why is it him?
My best partner?
My most trusted friend!
That sincere eyes and bright smile have been fighting side by side with me, never leaving me!
Even tonight, we were talking about mothers and communicating feelings!
Fake!Fake!All are fake!All are fake!I roared loudly like madness, tears gushing like a spring.
The continuous blows came one after another, making me unable to bear it anymore.
I feel like I'm about to collapse!
My favorite mom was raped!
My most trusted friend betrayed me!
I was fooled around like a fool!
What else is more devastating than this!What else is more desperate than this!
Schizo Sacrifice... Schizo Sacrifice!Split sacrifice!I yelled and took out my cell phone and made a hurry. I didn't think about anything anymore, I didn't want to do anything, I just wanted to vent my hatred!
Slit Sacrifice, you beast!You raped my mom!Are you still human?You beast in a dress, why are you this thing? I am so blind and I actually call you brothers!You bastard, scum!You are not a human!I want to kill you, I want to kill you!I screamed and cursed like a roaring lion, using all the most vicious words I knew, but it was far from enough to vent my anger!
Son of a bitch!Are you talking about the fuck, is it mute?Are you very good at talking in normal times? If you lie to me again, you will continue to lie to me again!Let's see if you can continue to lie to me!I roared hatefully, with the hoarseness of crying, and the pain and anger in my heart still tormented me.
It seems you know it all.After a while, the calm voice of Lieji came over.
Know!Of course I know!I gritted my teeth hard, wishing I could eat him alive, you are a scumbag!Son of a bitch!I have seen through your true face!You are a complete beast!
Li Ji paused for a while and said calmly: Yes, I am a beast.
You are not even as good as beasts!
Listening to his calm words, I felt like I was bitten by a mad dog, and my fierce anger seemed to burn my body out. You still look like this!Are you still a fucking human?Do you still have shame?Your conscience is eaten by the dog!?
Lie Ji said sincerely: You are my friend, so no matter how you scold me, I will accept it calmly!
You're going to lie to me!?
I couldn't control the words "Friends" when I heard them. I was rudely angry. "You will rape my mother if you are a friend?"If you are a friend, you will lie to me one after another?Is it a friend who would do such a thing that is worse than beasts?Don’t talk about this to me. I feel disgusted when I hear your voice now!
call……
Lie Ji took a deep breath, and after a long silence, he said lightly: Ahe, you look very excited now. Wait until you think about it carefully and calm down. We will have a calm conversation tomorrow. Teacher Li is with me now, so you don’t have to worry, goodbye.
What?Mom is here with you?You fuckingly return your mom to me!I roared loudly, and the veins on my forehead swelled, but before I could finish speaking, a blind voice of beeping came from the phone.
This bastard dares to hang up my phone!
I called him a few times again, but he refused.
Why, why is this happening!
I thought of his last words, and the anger in my heart was hard to calm down.
Mom is with him now?
After being raped, he even volunteered to be with him!
Is she crazy?Has she been brainwashed?Is the request for help fake?Are tears illusory?
I will never forget that night, and I will never forget what she said to Lieji. She loves him, thinks about him all the time, and is more willing to have sex with him on the phone, without shame!
This world!What the hell is going on!
Walking in the bed and thinking about these cruel blows, I felt extremely tired.
The faces of my mother and Lie Ji kept flashing in my mind, family and friendship were intertwined in my heart, and then they turned into sharp sword lights, cutting my heart full of holes.
I am so tired that every day of the past month has been suffering, and I am just living like a year.
I am just a 16-year-old boy, why should I treat me so cruelly!
No answer.
Before I knew it, I fell asleep with tears in my eyes, and the dream appeared again: on the sunny street, the little boy happily ate ice cream with a balloon, and the white cream made his face lose.
A white tissue was pasted on the boy's tender face. In the white space, the beautiful face was filled with tenderness like water!
Very beautiful!
Mother……
When I woke up from my dream, I felt a cold face. I touched it with my hands and found that it was full of tears.
Looking at the wet marks in my hand, I was stunned, and a sadness that wanted to cry loudly surged into my heart again.
I picked up the diary beside me, and my fingers trembled and turned it open again, without any resentment, and after these cruel tortures, I was already dead and exhausted.
Sunday, April 14, 2012, sunny.
I came to school as promised and sat in the office with trepidation.
My heart was a little confused, a little frightened, and I was jumping hard.
It's been over a week and I know what's waiting for me.
Photos, photography, obscene words, and filthy words are endless.
I suddenly felt like a wounded rabbit, and could only watch the hunter approaching and helplessly.
He is a demon!Yes, that demon will try every means to insult me!
Thursday, April 18, 2012, sunny.
After evening self-study, he followed me to the office.
Half a month has passed since he... that me.
These days I live in fear and worry every day, afraid of being discovered by my colleagues and afraid of being known by Xiaohe. I feel that everyone's eyes look at me are unusual.
I know, this is my illusion, but I really can't bear it...
Friday, April 19, 2012, cloudy.
I told myself that I could not continue like this. The shame in my heart and the guilt towards founding the country were like thorns all over the ground torture me back and forth, making me have nightmares every night.
Whenever I look at Xiaohe’s innocent and clear eyes, I feel ashamed that I dare not look at him.
I am his mother, but I was raped again and again by a boy of the same age as him.
Those humiliating scenes flashed in my mind all the time.
Tears and despair, dignity and trampling, tortured me all over my body.
I decided to have a good talk with him.
I looked at him seriously and taught him that it was wrong in the tone of an elder.
He is still young, has a bright future, Lin Yuexue's girlfriend, and I even repeatedly threaten him by calling the police.
Yes, this idea has appeared in my mind countless times and called the police to put him in jail!
But my weakness as a woman makes me feel anxious and walking on thin ice.
I have never hated the identity of a woman so much. It not only allowed me to enjoy the greatness of being a mother, but also firmly imprison me like an invisible cage. At the same time, deep in my heart, I don’t want to ruin him for the rest of my life...
It's ridiculous, really ridiculous!
It was clearly him who committed the crime, but I still had this damn compassion!
Am I crazy?
As a result, he raped me again...
I know I have no choice...
Sunday, April 23, 2012, sunny.
On Sunday, the breeze is gentle and the sun is shining.
But I can't be happy, which means I will belong to him all day long.
Facing the camera and the evil methods, I have gradually gotten used to it, but I still feel extremely shy.
I don’t know why he has so many strange tricks, nor why he is so experienced when he is with women. I even think evilly, is he thinking about these lustful things every day?
I don't know, but I have to go out now.
Monday, May 1, 2012, it was cloudy.
The hellish May Day holiday is still here. I look forward to it every year, but now it scares me.
This means I have to be with him for the whole seven days, enduring his endless humiliation and training to me.
It has been a month, and he asks me three or four times a week. He is still so energetic, as if he is exhausted.
What about this week?I've already started trembling.
Wednesday, May 4, 2012, sunny.
When I woke up in the morning, I put on exquisite makeup.
I drew foundation, eyeshadow, and eyebrows very carefully. Every stroke is carefully depicted, and every stroke makes me feel happy.
After finishing the painting, I looked at myself blankly, full of shock.
Why do I dress like this, why do I wear sexy clothes?
Who am I for?
That devil!
For a moment, my heart felt a deep fear.
Saturday, May 6, 2012, sunny.
Last night, I was lying in bed and tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep.
I thought about what happened during this period carefully, and finally I was frightened to find that I seemed to be becoming more and more addicted to it!
These days, or in just these 5 days, I have had more orgasms than in my previous lifetime!
I seemed to live in a paradise of climax, one after another, endless and endless.
The feeling of being humiliated by him, the pleasure of being stimulated by lustful means, and the extreme excitement when facing the camera made me intoxicated and unwilling to wake up.
I was scared, I was ashamed of my lewdness, I told myself that I was her teacher, the mother of a child, and the wife of a husband!
But when facing the crazy pleasure, the defense lines I worked hard to build collapsed in an instant, disappearing without a trace.
I feel like I have changed, and I can no longer understand my heart...
Sunday, May 7, 2012, cloudy.
On the last day of May Day, when I saw his handsome face, I didn't feel any fear, but instead felt a little inexplicably happy.
He said he wanted to take me to a place, and just one sentence, I followed him obediently as if he was possessed by evil spirits.
In this way, we came to City W next door.
Strange streets, strange crowds, me and him.
Walking on the bustling streets and watching the crowds coming and going, a long-lost sweetness suddenly surged in my heart, and in the blink of an eye it was like ripples rippling.
Dating!
I don't know why, but I immediately thought of this word.
The bright sunshine, the warm spring breeze, walking on the street with a man in his arms, isn’t this a scene that often appears on TV?
I told myself that I was crazy, that I was forced, that he raped me!
I began to feel scared again.
It’s not about him, but about him. I should have hated him, but now I have such a ridiculous idea. I hate myself like this!
But soon I lost the ability to think, and the lower body wearing only transparent pantyhose, the vibrator began to vibrate again, and it numbed my body in just a short while.
I have been suffering from such shameful tricks countless times in the past month, and he always smiles with a harmless and bright smile of people and animals.
I really can't understand him. Sometimes it's gentle and sometimes it's chilling.
The vibrator vibrated faster and faster, and my face became redder and redder. I walked hard with my legs wearing high heels, following each other, like walking on thin ice.
My body began to burn like flames, and my lower body was like a flood that broke the dam.
My mind was filled with shame and lustful thoughts. The scenes that made me humiliated in the past were like aphrodisiacs that bewitched my thinking, impacted my reason, and gradually lost in the endless lust.
He looked at me innocently, asking about his well-being, his eyes clear, without any desire.
With such a look, who can know that his harmless face is an extremely lewd heart?
He is waiting for me to make that shameful request!
I have resisted countless times, but he would turn off the vibrator when I couldn't stand it, and then turn it on again after I calmed down. I could only surrender under his lewd means again and again.
Looking at the pedestrians passing by, I once again had the illusion of shame: as a teacher of teaching and educating, I stood on the street, and the people around me had seen through everything about me.
There were no underwear, only a transparent black silk covering my flooded lower body. The juice of shame gushed out, wetting my legs. The vibrator sound of vibrating the lower body seemed to have been amplified countless times and entered everyone's ears.
Everyone looked at me with contempt and disdain, cursing in their hearts that shameless, slut, shameless!
One by one, the words that made me feel ashamed appeared in my mind, but I got the perverted pleasure in this extreme fantasy.
My identity is no longer a burden for me to imprison, but has become a tool for me to gain pleasure!
As a respected teacher, he is doing such a lewd thing on the crowded streets...
Dignity and humiliation, reason and pleasure are in a fierce confrontation.
My body was burning violently, sweat oozing out layer by layer, steaming and grilling to create an increasingly lewd smell.
Every pore of mine seemed to be glowing and heating, constantly transmitting signals of joy, and in the end, more and more, more and more until I was completely submerged...
Looking at his clear eyes, I knew I would surrender again...
In the narrow toilet in the mall, in my lewd and shameful begging, he penetrated deeply through me.
For a moment, I felt as if I had entered a wonderful paradise, and my body was rippling lightly in the clouds.
The feeling of the lower body being filled with thick and hot is so satisfying.
It stirred violently, rushing back and forth, and the collapsed current shot everywhere, like sharp arrows piercing through my body, filling the seemingly endless void in my heart.
Every cell of my cell was moaning happily, and every pore was shrinking excitedly.
In the narrow space, in the depressed environment, listening to the footsteps walking back and forth outside the door panel, I covered my lips tightly like a drowning child, my mind was blank, like a sinner who had sucked drugs living in the illusion of nothingness.
I could no longer hear anything, only his heavy breathing and the sound of his body ramming.
My body seemed to no longer exist. Only his powerful collision and violent twitching pushed me up to the turbulent waves again and again, throwing me into the vast sky until it was destroyed and my soul was scattered...
I know, I'm almost done...
Monday, May 8, 2012, sunny.
Maybe he was tired, maybe he didn't have time, and he didn't come to me today, so I breathed a deep breath.
Looking at the diary I wrote yesterday, I felt deeply ashamed. I was only going to write a little bit, but I couldn't help but write it like this...
Am I becoming lewd?When I came back, I couldn't help but think of him!
Tuesday, May 9, 2012, sunny.
After class, I quickly left the classroom, but strangely he didn't come with me.
But this is good, so as not to do anything humiliating to me again. I can't indulge him like this anymore!
But why, now I start thinking about him?
This bastard!Rapeman!Go and die!
Thursday, May 11, 2012, sunny.
He didn't come to me after connecting for a few days. For some reason, I felt a little disappointed.
Did something happen to him?
But it’s not like that. He still smiles when he sees me, and he speaks very seriously and actively. What’s wrong with him? Are he playing some conspiracies?
Pooh!What does it have to do with me!sleep!
Sunday, May 14, 2012, sunny.
I started to be worried and depressed, and I vaguely realized something was wrong.
He hasn't looked for me for a whole seven days, which is almost impossible in the past!
Every Sunday, he would let me go out, but I waited all day and he didn't call me!
What happened to him? Is something happening to his family? Or is it something wrong?
Tomorrow, I'm going to try him tomorrow!
Monday, May 15, 2012, it was cloudy.
Is he... tired of me?
Why are you so cold to me?
Why does the smile make me feel like an invisible wall?
My heart was a little trembling and a little scared. I felt like a homeless child who was abandoned by my family at the intersection of night...
Friday, May 19, 2012, cloudy.
He doesn't want me anymore!He really doesn't want me anymore!It has been more than ten days, and he has hardly said a word to me except for speaking in class. Why?Why do you do this to me!I played with me but abandoned me!
Saturday, May 20, 2012, cloudy.
I don’t know when it started, but I think of him every day. This kind of longing is like a crazy vine growing, and it is dense in the blink of an eye.
I began to look at my phone frequently and started to postpone my time home. Even if I didn’t have evening self-study, I would stay in the office and look forward to his appearance.
But, never once.
I learned to be jealous, to a 16-year-old girl, Lin Yuexue.
Whenever I see him and her intimate appearance and see him smiling gently, my heart hurts deeply as if it was cut by a knife.
His smile originally belonged to me, why did he give it to another woman?
Am I crazy?
Yes, I'm crazy!
I actually developed feelings for a student who raped me!
I no longer feel resentment, fear, and shame!
In fact, I no longer resisted in late April. I am just a hypocritical woman. I can obviously refuse fiercely. Why should I listen to him obediently?
Am I just giving myself a reason and a fig leaf?
I have already understood my heart, I miss him, I really miss him...
Wednesday, May 25, 2012, sunny.
I can no longer bear this torture. I feel poisoned. I want him and I want him to be with him!
Thursday, May 26, 2012, sunny.
I made an appointment with him to meet on the roof.
Facing the night wind, my heart was a little nervous and nervous.
I had thought of running away, but my feet were as unmovable as if they had roots.
The moment I saw him, all my thoughts seemed to solidify, and my heart was filled with long-lost joy!
He came and did not refuse me.
He still looked the same, still had the same smile, elegant and handsome, smiling and cynical.
When he approached and looked at me, the long-lost aggressive and hot eyes melted me in an instant.
I have been waiting for too long. I miss his look. It tells me that he has not abandoned me and has not left me cruelly.
A sense of satisfaction and happiness surged into my heart, making me throw myself into his arms regardless of everything, put down the woman's reserve, and put down the dignity of being an elder, but I didn't care at all.
I kissed him frantically, like a fish leaving the water, greedily sucking his tongue, mouth, and lips.
He also hugged me tightly, and his hands domineeringly possessed my body that should belong to me.
My body was like an ice of flames, which quickly turned into a pool of spring water under his greedy caress.
I kept asking him if he loved me or if he loved me!
When I heard his tough answer, I had no strength at all and was completely softened in his arms.
He is always so domineering when intimate, and does not leave me any dignity.
I used to hate so much, but now I am so obsessed with it, like a strong cage that imprisons me tightly, belonging to him alone.
He kissed my neck, and his slippery tongue flexibly wandered on every inch of my skin, bringing me a burst of intoxicating itching.
But his hands were so rough, rubbing my breasts and buttocks hard, leaving a hot and indelible mark on my body.
I like his tenderness and his domineeringness. Under his caress, I felt like I was about to suffocate. The scorching pleasure was like burning gasoline scorching my body.
My heart is trembling and my nerves are swelling. I never thought that just caressing and foreplay can make people excited to climax!
He asked me all kinds of lewd and obscene questions in a lewd and dirty way, with his charming smile.
I moaned loudly, without any force or resistance.
I excitedly told him that I was a slut, a bitch, and his slutty little slutty pussy.
When I finished these words, my soul seemed to be about to fly, and a huge pleasure pleasantly felt like a surging wave, which drowned me in the deep seabed in the blink of an eye.
I am a teacher and a proud wife, but I speak these dirty words to my students!
Shame and dignity, humiliation and reason to torture me back and forth, and finally, under his fiery caress, it was purified into the purest pleasure.
The juice of shame kept pouring out, and the heat and itching deep in the lower body flashed with the most obscene signals.
I kept saying the lustful words I dared not speak in the past, longing for the perverted pleasure that makes people's soul twist.
I felt lost, and in the thick mist of desire, I could no longer find my way home.
My breathing became more and more rapid, and my body was so hot that it seemed to explode.
I haven't had sex for nearly a month, and it urged me to make a lewd plea in eagerness.
But he still tortured me with a smile, and used the man's lewd lower body to destroy me with the bottom line that no longer had a bottom line.
The smell of the cock spreads on the tip of my nose, stimulating my excited nerves.
I sniffed deeply, like a drug-absorbed indulge in this lewd smell.
At this moment, I thought of the scene when he occupied me countless times. It was hot, thick, with barbaric aggressiveness, like a sharp sword, penetrated my body hard, and then thrust vigorously, twisting violently, with the pleasure of electric current!
I'm about to collapse!
A large stream of honey juice poured out from the depths of the uterus, as if it was about to wash out my soul!
I actually reached the ultimate climax just by fantasy!
I knew I was finished, and the moment he ejaculated inside me, I knew I could never go back.
I have completely betrayed my husband and family. The virtuous and kind woman who vowed her when she got married has already fallen asleep in her heart and will never be awakened again!
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