Chapter 14 What is love?

As soon as I opened the door, I saw my mother busy in the kitchen, as if she was cooking noodles. Listening to the sound of the door opening behind me, my mother could guess that it was me without looking back. She praised her very rarely:

I came back today quite punctually.

That's it.I responded casually, and quickly took a glass of water and drank it in one sip. I threw my schoolbag on the sofa and sat on it. I felt extremely soft and my physical and mental exhaustion was relieved. I greedily breathed in oxygen. This running really made me exhausted.

A few minutes later, my mother brought a bowl of steaming egg noodles from the kitchen and placed it on the coffee table in front of me. Seeing me panting, she raised her eyebrows and asked in confusion:

What's wrong? This is?It looks like you have carried three generations of cement to go upstairs.

I sucked a mouthful of delicious noodles, and my mother sat down next to me. The unique woman's body fragrance and the fresh fragrance mixed with noodles came into my nose, making me feel a little swaying and explained randomly:

After evening self-study, I suddenly wanted to exercise my body, so I went to the playground for a run.

My mother's little mouth opened, trying to say something, but in the end she just left a sentence. She washed the dishes and returned to her bedroom, looked at the closed door of her mother's room, and then looked at the butt marks left by her mother on the sofa. Somehow I felt a little irritated.

In the following days, I would send Wang Xinran back to the dormitory every night, so naturally I couldn't help but kiss and hug each other. The relationship between us continued to heat up, and finally we officially announced in the class that we had a romantic relationship.

But for some reason, I don’t have the joy brought by love in my heart. I also understand that this is probably because I am still obsessed with my mother. This feeling is like... it’s like an older young man who is succumbing to reality and cannot leave his first love and return to his hometown to marry a woman he doesn’t love.

This feeling has been lingering, like a cloud of haze has been covering my head, making me restless and depressed for several days.

That weekend, my mother seemed to have noticed my recent emotional changes. At the dinner table, she finally couldn't help but ask:

What's wrong with you recently?It seems that you are always pickled and shrunk.

I put down my chopsticks and looked at my beautiful and charming mother, and her caring tone, and I felt even more bored and said casually:

It's normal in adolescence.

My mother looked at me suspiciously for a moment, lowered her head and ate two bites of food gracefully, then looked up and asked:

Don’t you feel unhappy when playing with your phone?

I shook my head weakly. Although it was really boring to play without a mobile phone, this did not mean that it made me feel so depressed. The real reason was even more impossible to say. Thinking of this, I suddenly felt powerless and had to keep cooking.

Seeing this, my mother didn't say anything. She continued to serve the bowl and eat, but her eyes kept glancing on me. After a while, my mother put the bowl on the dining table, got up and returned to the bedroom. After a while, my mother came out of the room, took out my cell phone and handed it to me, and said:

I can return the phone to you, but I can only play on weekends. I am not allowed to watch those things that are not bad.

I took the phone and a warm current flowed in my heart. Sure enough, my mother still felt sorry for me. Although this was not my depressedness, I pretended to laugh at my mother, but what I got was her rolling eyes and scolding:

I also said it was not because of my phone, but I saw that I was so happy that I laughed like a flower.

After dinner, in order to make my mother happy, I took the initiative to quit washing dishes. My mother sat on the sofa, crossing her legs and fiddling with her cell phone leisurely.

Listening to the soft laughter coming from time to time behind me, I couldn't help but turn my head and take a sneak shot. As the laughter touched the small and exquisite earrings, I kept swaying and jumping. Although the white home clothes similar to pajamas were loose, they could not hide their plump and proud figure. The buttocks squeezed by the sofa looked even more plump and wide, and the breasts on my chest were towering, which was eye-catching.

I came to my senses and kept brushing the bowls, silently chanting that color is emptiness, emptiness is color, but unexpectedly my mother heard it and said unhappily:

You keep saying something messy.

I turned around and smiled awkwardly. After washing the dishes, I found that my irritability was a little inexplicable. I actually wanted to take a walk and relax. So I got my mother's permission and said, "Come back early and then I arrived by the river."

Breathing the fragrant air of nature, I walked along the river like an old man in my seventies or eighties. Soon, it was already late and the sun was setting.

Buzz-buzz-

The phone in the pants and bag vibrated twice. I thought it was my mother who urged me to go home, but when I opened the phone, it was Wang Xinran's WeChat message.

Did you have meal?

Just had it for a while

Then what are you doing now?

Walking by the river

walk?I didn't expect you to have this hobby (sneering)

……

Where to take a walk?

Moonflower Lake

Wait for me (smiling face)

Turning off the phone, Wang Xinran's pure and charming face appeared before my eyes. I couldn't help but start to silently tell Wang Xinran's goodness: she is beautiful, has good academic performance, is gentle and kind, cheerful and lively...

These advantages are real for Wang Xinran. Such an excellent person can be said to be the girlfriend of countless young boys in the school. She became my girlfriend so dazzlingly, but why can’t I be happy?

What is love?Is it the catharsis of emotions, the demise of carnal sensuality, or the reflection that can only be seen from afar and untouchable?

I began my mental journey of thinking about philosophy. After a long time, I smiled mockingly. My thinking was indeed a bit non-mainstream.

Suddenly, my eyes went dark, and a black shadow covered my eyes. I was stunned for a while and I realized, "Who else could it be if it weren't for Wang Xinran?"But I was not in a hurry to expose her and asked pretending to be curious:

Who is it?

Your brother.

A rough male voice came from behind me. I was so scared that I jumped forward and turned around and saw that it was Zhang Tao. I was both ashamed and annoyed and said anxiously:

What the hell are you doing? It scares the capital!

Zhang Tao didn't expect my reaction to be so big. He touched his head with a little embarrassed look and asked with a silly smile:

Why is Brother Yu alone by the river so sad?

As if someone suddenly opened the secret that I found in my heart, I was a little panicked and hurriedly explained:

I am not so sad, I can’t take a walk after dinner.

Zhang Tao made a clear expression of disbelief in labor and capital, looking around me in circles, muttering constantly that something was wrong.

I was really impatient, pressed his shoulder with both hands to prevent him from spinning around, and said seriously:

I haven't asked you yet, why are you doing alone by the river?

Zhang Tao is a carefree person. I forgot about this when I interrupted him. He touched his head and explained quietly:

I will come to the river to run after dinner on weekends. Isn’t it about to have a physical exam? I have to exercise quickly.

Yes, Taozi is a sports student, so it is not surprising that he comes to the river to run. Looking at Zhang Tao with a simple face, I suddenly felt a moment of emotion, and then patted his shoulder with a heavy expression and said seriously:

If only I could be as casual as you.