Women need to coax women, and coaxing women is a technical job. Not everyone can be competent. Of course, it depends on what kind of woman you coax.
It is especially difficult to coax ancient women, but this difficulty is for those ancient people who are backward in their thinking. If Chu Jiangnan, a time traveler, is stumped like this, would he have to bear the most time traveler, and this face is so embarrassing.
In the Dongming Villa, Chu Jiangnan, I saw a book called "Ancient Boudoir Women's Twelve Months of Entertainment and Interesting Life Picture", which mainly describes how ancient women spend every month.
In January, I walked on the snow and found poetry in the twelfth month. It was cold and the land was frozen. The ladies gathered in the warm hall, cooking tea, watching the snow, chanting poems and music. Sometimes there were women accompanying them in fur, dressed in marten hats and carried them on the snow to help them liven up.
February, on the cold night, on the first month of the plum blossoms, on the night of the Chinese New Year, the lights are filled with colorful lights, the silver moon is like a plate, the plum blossoms are blooming, and the ladies in the palace travel together to enjoy.
March, playing chess in the idle hall.
In April, the spring is coming. The ladies walked out of the boudoir and enjoyed each other in the fragrant grassland. The willows danced in the spring breeze, the apricot flowers reflected in the spring water, and on the swing, the ladies' figure was as light as Yàn.
May, the charm of the spring season is full of colorful flowers and fragrance.The beauties in the boudoir gather in front of the courtyard to enjoy the flowers, with youthful charm and national beauty.
In June, it is midsummer when the weather is hot.The bamboo forest by the pond rustled, responding to the cool breeze. Ladies in the palace gathered in the pond pavilion to enjoy the fish to spend their leisure time.
In July, the soft wind of picking lotus in Hetang swept through the lake, and the fragrance of Hetang is bursting. The beauties in the palace are rafting and gathering together, adding some fun to the stereotyped palace life.
In August, Tongyinqiqiao This depicts the scene of a lady in Beijing bingqiao on the seventh day of the seventh month. On the Qixi Festival, women put bowls of water in the courtyard, and then spread a bunch of needles into it. People scramble to watch the patterns presented in the water.
In September, watching the moon on Qiongtai depicts the scene of the Mid-Autumn Festival night, when noble ladies gather at the high platform to recite poems and enjoy the moon.
In October, enjoying chrysanthemums in late autumn depicts the scene of a noble lady in the palace in October.In traditional Chinese culture, chrysanthemums are a symbol of nobility and purity, and also give the meaning of auspiciousness and longevity.
In November, Wenge embroidery in early winter, under the warm sunshine, the ladies in the palace carefully embroidered and admired their favorite patterns.
In December, it was mid-winter in ancient times, and the weather became colder.This painting depicts the scene of the noble ladies gathering together in the lush house and next to the warm stove to enjoy the ancient courtyard and study.
Look, these are all entertainment activities. In ancient times, men had no way of entertainment. They could go to the brothels and Chu Pavilion to find girls to drink flower wine, but women, when it was dark, could only sleep.
Chu Jiangnan approached Bai Suxiang's neck and sucked all the sweet body fragrance of the beautiful woman in her arms into her belly. Seeing that Bai Suxiang ignored him, he turned his eyes and thought about it.
With a gentle cough, Chu Jiangnan told a story in a turbulent manner: Once upon a time, there was an old prime minister who lived on the locust tree in his yard.The magpies shouted to take off at the fifth o'clock every day, and the prime minister took his entourage to court at this time.Over time, the prime minister used the time of the magpies to take off as his alarm clock for court.The prime minister had a concubine who was quite beautiful and was deeply loved by him.Maybe it’s because of spoiling!She secretly got into the relationship with the butler of the prime minister's house.In the middle of the night that day, the housekeeper wanted to have a tryst with her, and just as the prime minister slept in her room.What to do?The housekeeper coaxed the magpie on the tree, and the magpie flew away with a 'gaga'.The prime minister thought that the time for court had come, so he asked his followers to go to court.When they came to the street, they felt something was wrong, and looked at the starry sky, and then went home.The prime minister came to the door and felt that the movement inside the house was not right.Then he stopped and listened quietly, and only heard the concubine say, "The flesh on your body is strong and strong, just like dough." The housekeeper said, "Your skin and tender flesh are like powder."The concubine said, "Our master is like dried onions."The prime minister was very angry after hearing this, but he did not have the courage to catch the evildoer.He was afraid of losing his reputation.
Having said this, Chu Jiangnan deliberately paused for a moment.
At this pause, Bai Suxiang turned his head and said in confusion: Is it over?
Of course, I haven't finished it yet!
Chu Jiangnan said slowly: The excitement is still behind.
He was not in a hurry to talk, but asked Bai Suxiang: Have you reacted after listening to the above paragraph?
What's the reaction?Isn't it just a joke?
Bai Suxiang blinked her beautiful big eyes, and her expression looked very similar to Gu Qianlian. This ghost elf liked to make this expression in front of Chu Jiangnan. Do you still say it?
Chu Jiangnan smiled and saw that his success aroused Bai Suxiang's interest, so he continued to speak nonsense: It was Mid-Autumn Festival, and I still have to have a reunion dinner in the evening.The old prime minister invited a scholar and ate vegetables and drank with the housekeeper and concubine in the back garden pavilion.He wanted to be ashamed of poetry or punish the housekeeper and concubine.And he said: 'If anyone can't match the poem, he will beat the thirty-year-old board and expel it from the house'.After saying that, he raised his head and chanted at the moon, saying, "The 15th month of August is facing east, and there are people coaxing the magpies on the tree.The dough sleeps in the pasta with the dough, and the old dried onion is so angry that it is so angry that it is not easy to sleep outside the door.’It was the housekeeper’s turn, and he fell into deep thought.‘I didn’t expect that the master would find out about it. If I just treat some flowers, plants, trees or animals, it would be better, but if I don’t match the meaning, I will definitely be punished.I had to come from the real trick’.After pondering for a while, the moon had risen, and the butler murmured: "The fifteenth month of August is facing south, and we have been in love for half a year.The adults don’t care about villains, but the prime minister can sail in his stomach.’The concubine was so embarrassed that she couldn’t raise her head at first. With some alcohol, her face was blushing and she kept covering her face with her sleeves.Several times when I got up and left, I was blocked by the master's eyes and looked straight back. I stayed there with a restless and pity.When she understood that she should talk to the poem, she said to her, "On August 15th, I will be facing west, and your old husband comes, my young wife."One day I will go back to heaven and my family will belong to someone else.’ After three rounds of wine, five flavors of food, it’s the scholar’s turn. He has never written poems about such topics on weekdays, and he is drunk and heard the sound of the hottest.I don’t know where the articles are all over my stomach. I really feel that I only regretted the fact that I have to use them!In desperation, he started to complain: ‘The fifteenth month of August is facing north, and the wine and food are blocking my mouth.No one asks you if you like to kiss.’
After Chu Jiangnan finished telling this ancient joke, Bai Suxiang burst into laughter, thinking it was another dirty joke!
He always talks about erotic stories that make people blush but have never heard of before, which is so funny.
Is it funny?
Not funny!
Bai Suxiang gently shakes her head.
Not funny, you still laugh so loudly?
Where is it?
Lies in person!Chu Jiangnan raised his hands and slapped Bai Suxiang's plump buttocks, causing waves of flesh...
********************
Chu Jiangnan was lying on the bed, his head resting on his hands, and he closed his eyes slightly and thought: I am really hardworking!
I shouldn't be here for long. If I don't go on the world, Pang Ban will give Qi Bingyun with both hands?
Let’s go to the big dream of spring and autumn!
After thinking that he doesn't have that charm, even if there is, only women can feel it.
But I went out a lot!
Why can’t I meet Pang Ban?
Others are worried and afraid to meet a magician.
He was fine, but he wanted to see this big devil who acted entirely based on his preferences. Just because this idea was spread, it would be enough to be famous.
The cheeks were itchy. Chu Jiangnan opened his eyes and saw Bai Suxiang sitting beside him, looking at herself gently. Her long hair was a little wet and cold on her face. She had just returned from taking a shower.
The pure and delicate face in his hair, with the rosy eyelashes and wet eyes, was indescribably charming. Chu Jiangnan's troubles and thoughts were instantly wiped out. He sighed and began to think about how to break the deadlock. Such a lively little girl was placed in front of her, and she could eat it. She was so great!
Bai Suxiang didn't know what was wrong, her face was full of joy, and she seemed to have a pleasing smile. Chu Jiangnan blinked, suspected that it was her own illusion.
She was wearing a thin and close-fitting dress, lying on the bed, snuggling to Chu Jiangnan, pulling her hair to the front and combing it, and starting to chat with him with a smile: My husband, I will tell you something, a few days ago, someone saw an old locust tree that had been hundreds of years old and caught fire by spring thunder two days ago!
Bai Suxiang was petite and charming, and her chest was inadvertently turning to Chu Jiangnan's elbows. Smelling the fresh fragrance of her daughter's house, Chu Jiangnan's lower body, which had just cooled down, began to irresistibly transform and expand again.
I heard from others that it is because the old locust tree is about to become a spirit, and Thunder God is getting angry!
Bai Suxiang's delicate body was closer to Chu Jiangnan again, and her face pressed against his chest and told the story enthusiastically: Husband, if the old tree cannot be killed, can it really become a fairy?
Ah!I don’t know whether the old locust tree turns into a fairy. I just know that you are about to become a fairy. I am already preparing for the first level of the human cannon, do you know?Little fairy!
Chu Jiangnan thought gritted his teeth, and at the same time he teased: Honestly, are you disguised as Qianlian?
It is especially difficult to coax ancient women, but this difficulty is for those ancient people who are backward in their thinking. If Chu Jiangnan, a time traveler, is stumped like this, would he have to bear the most time traveler, and this face is so embarrassing.
In the Dongming Villa, Chu Jiangnan, I saw a book called "Ancient Boudoir Women's Twelve Months of Entertainment and Interesting Life Picture", which mainly describes how ancient women spend every month.
In January, I walked on the snow and found poetry in the twelfth month. It was cold and the land was frozen. The ladies gathered in the warm hall, cooking tea, watching the snow, chanting poems and music. Sometimes there were women accompanying them in fur, dressed in marten hats and carried them on the snow to help them liven up.
February, on the cold night, on the first month of the plum blossoms, on the night of the Chinese New Year, the lights are filled with colorful lights, the silver moon is like a plate, the plum blossoms are blooming, and the ladies in the palace travel together to enjoy.
March, playing chess in the idle hall.
In April, the spring is coming. The ladies walked out of the boudoir and enjoyed each other in the fragrant grassland. The willows danced in the spring breeze, the apricot flowers reflected in the spring water, and on the swing, the ladies' figure was as light as Yàn.
May, the charm of the spring season is full of colorful flowers and fragrance.The beauties in the boudoir gather in front of the courtyard to enjoy the flowers, with youthful charm and national beauty.
In June, it is midsummer when the weather is hot.The bamboo forest by the pond rustled, responding to the cool breeze. Ladies in the palace gathered in the pond pavilion to enjoy the fish to spend their leisure time.
In July, the soft wind of picking lotus in Hetang swept through the lake, and the fragrance of Hetang is bursting. The beauties in the palace are rafting and gathering together, adding some fun to the stereotyped palace life.
In August, Tongyinqiqiao This depicts the scene of a lady in Beijing bingqiao on the seventh day of the seventh month. On the Qixi Festival, women put bowls of water in the courtyard, and then spread a bunch of needles into it. People scramble to watch the patterns presented in the water.
In September, watching the moon on Qiongtai depicts the scene of the Mid-Autumn Festival night, when noble ladies gather at the high platform to recite poems and enjoy the moon.
In October, enjoying chrysanthemums in late autumn depicts the scene of a noble lady in the palace in October.In traditional Chinese culture, chrysanthemums are a symbol of nobility and purity, and also give the meaning of auspiciousness and longevity.
In November, Wenge embroidery in early winter, under the warm sunshine, the ladies in the palace carefully embroidered and admired their favorite patterns.
In December, it was mid-winter in ancient times, and the weather became colder.This painting depicts the scene of the noble ladies gathering together in the lush house and next to the warm stove to enjoy the ancient courtyard and study.
Look, these are all entertainment activities. In ancient times, men had no way of entertainment. They could go to the brothels and Chu Pavilion to find girls to drink flower wine, but women, when it was dark, could only sleep.
Chu Jiangnan approached Bai Suxiang's neck and sucked all the sweet body fragrance of the beautiful woman in her arms into her belly. Seeing that Bai Suxiang ignored him, he turned his eyes and thought about it.
With a gentle cough, Chu Jiangnan told a story in a turbulent manner: Once upon a time, there was an old prime minister who lived on the locust tree in his yard.The magpies shouted to take off at the fifth o'clock every day, and the prime minister took his entourage to court at this time.Over time, the prime minister used the time of the magpies to take off as his alarm clock for court.The prime minister had a concubine who was quite beautiful and was deeply loved by him.Maybe it’s because of spoiling!She secretly got into the relationship with the butler of the prime minister's house.In the middle of the night that day, the housekeeper wanted to have a tryst with her, and just as the prime minister slept in her room.What to do?The housekeeper coaxed the magpie on the tree, and the magpie flew away with a 'gaga'.The prime minister thought that the time for court had come, so he asked his followers to go to court.When they came to the street, they felt something was wrong, and looked at the starry sky, and then went home.The prime minister came to the door and felt that the movement inside the house was not right.Then he stopped and listened quietly, and only heard the concubine say, "The flesh on your body is strong and strong, just like dough." The housekeeper said, "Your skin and tender flesh are like powder."The concubine said, "Our master is like dried onions."The prime minister was very angry after hearing this, but he did not have the courage to catch the evildoer.He was afraid of losing his reputation.
Having said this, Chu Jiangnan deliberately paused for a moment.
At this pause, Bai Suxiang turned his head and said in confusion: Is it over?
Of course, I haven't finished it yet!
Chu Jiangnan said slowly: The excitement is still behind.
He was not in a hurry to talk, but asked Bai Suxiang: Have you reacted after listening to the above paragraph?
What's the reaction?Isn't it just a joke?
Bai Suxiang blinked her beautiful big eyes, and her expression looked very similar to Gu Qianlian. This ghost elf liked to make this expression in front of Chu Jiangnan. Do you still say it?
Chu Jiangnan smiled and saw that his success aroused Bai Suxiang's interest, so he continued to speak nonsense: It was Mid-Autumn Festival, and I still have to have a reunion dinner in the evening.The old prime minister invited a scholar and ate vegetables and drank with the housekeeper and concubine in the back garden pavilion.He wanted to be ashamed of poetry or punish the housekeeper and concubine.And he said: 'If anyone can't match the poem, he will beat the thirty-year-old board and expel it from the house'.After saying that, he raised his head and chanted at the moon, saying, "The 15th month of August is facing east, and there are people coaxing the magpies on the tree.The dough sleeps in the pasta with the dough, and the old dried onion is so angry that it is so angry that it is not easy to sleep outside the door.’It was the housekeeper’s turn, and he fell into deep thought.‘I didn’t expect that the master would find out about it. If I just treat some flowers, plants, trees or animals, it would be better, but if I don’t match the meaning, I will definitely be punished.I had to come from the real trick’.After pondering for a while, the moon had risen, and the butler murmured: "The fifteenth month of August is facing south, and we have been in love for half a year.The adults don’t care about villains, but the prime minister can sail in his stomach.’The concubine was so embarrassed that she couldn’t raise her head at first. With some alcohol, her face was blushing and she kept covering her face with her sleeves.Several times when I got up and left, I was blocked by the master's eyes and looked straight back. I stayed there with a restless and pity.When she understood that she should talk to the poem, she said to her, "On August 15th, I will be facing west, and your old husband comes, my young wife."One day I will go back to heaven and my family will belong to someone else.’ After three rounds of wine, five flavors of food, it’s the scholar’s turn. He has never written poems about such topics on weekdays, and he is drunk and heard the sound of the hottest.I don’t know where the articles are all over my stomach. I really feel that I only regretted the fact that I have to use them!In desperation, he started to complain: ‘The fifteenth month of August is facing north, and the wine and food are blocking my mouth.No one asks you if you like to kiss.’
After Chu Jiangnan finished telling this ancient joke, Bai Suxiang burst into laughter, thinking it was another dirty joke!
He always talks about erotic stories that make people blush but have never heard of before, which is so funny.
Is it funny?
Not funny!
Bai Suxiang gently shakes her head.
Not funny, you still laugh so loudly?
Where is it?
Lies in person!Chu Jiangnan raised his hands and slapped Bai Suxiang's plump buttocks, causing waves of flesh...
********************
Chu Jiangnan was lying on the bed, his head resting on his hands, and he closed his eyes slightly and thought: I am really hardworking!
I shouldn't be here for long. If I don't go on the world, Pang Ban will give Qi Bingyun with both hands?
Let’s go to the big dream of spring and autumn!
After thinking that he doesn't have that charm, even if there is, only women can feel it.
But I went out a lot!
Why can’t I meet Pang Ban?
Others are worried and afraid to meet a magician.
He was fine, but he wanted to see this big devil who acted entirely based on his preferences. Just because this idea was spread, it would be enough to be famous.
The cheeks were itchy. Chu Jiangnan opened his eyes and saw Bai Suxiang sitting beside him, looking at herself gently. Her long hair was a little wet and cold on her face. She had just returned from taking a shower.
The pure and delicate face in his hair, with the rosy eyelashes and wet eyes, was indescribably charming. Chu Jiangnan's troubles and thoughts were instantly wiped out. He sighed and began to think about how to break the deadlock. Such a lively little girl was placed in front of her, and she could eat it. She was so great!
Bai Suxiang didn't know what was wrong, her face was full of joy, and she seemed to have a pleasing smile. Chu Jiangnan blinked, suspected that it was her own illusion.
She was wearing a thin and close-fitting dress, lying on the bed, snuggling to Chu Jiangnan, pulling her hair to the front and combing it, and starting to chat with him with a smile: My husband, I will tell you something, a few days ago, someone saw an old locust tree that had been hundreds of years old and caught fire by spring thunder two days ago!
Bai Suxiang was petite and charming, and her chest was inadvertently turning to Chu Jiangnan's elbows. Smelling the fresh fragrance of her daughter's house, Chu Jiangnan's lower body, which had just cooled down, began to irresistibly transform and expand again.
I heard from others that it is because the old locust tree is about to become a spirit, and Thunder God is getting angry!
Bai Suxiang's delicate body was closer to Chu Jiangnan again, and her face pressed against his chest and told the story enthusiastically: Husband, if the old tree cannot be killed, can it really become a fairy?
Ah!I don’t know whether the old locust tree turns into a fairy. I just know that you are about to become a fairy. I am already preparing for the first level of the human cannon, do you know?Little fairy!
Chu Jiangnan thought gritted his teeth, and at the same time he teased: Honestly, are you disguised as Qianlian?
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