Every woman has a dream of being a queen, after all, Wu Zetian only has one, so don’t forget that Wu Zetian also became the queen first and then the emperor.
If she hadn't become the queen first, she would never have dreamed of becoming the emperor. Despite this, after her death, the world would be cheaper.
No wonder Jia Baoyu said: My daughter is made of flesh and blood, while men are made of flesh and blood.When I see my daughter, I feel refreshed; when I see the man, I feel the stinking.Why do women make water? They are meant to cleanse the world.
Actually, I don’t like Jia Baoyu’s words. Comparing women to water makes people think of watery poplar flowers.
I think women are made of jade.
At least a beautiful woman is made of jade.
Condensing the spiritual energy of heaven and earth, revealing the essence of the sun and moon, solid and warm, beautiful and wise, noble and restrained, and wise and charming.
But I have been married for five years, and my husband didn't even give me jade chips. He was busy all day long. After busying, he was just a deputy chief engineer of the county power grid department, and he could barely be considered a deputy section-level reserve.
His classmates at that time all became directors and deputy directors. As a man, he can’t do anything in his career. How can he be a good person?
Seeing other women's husbands rise to the top, their own men can't even make a personal difference in society. Can the psychology of being a wife be balanced?
Which woman doesn’t expect her husband to be honored by her wife?
It would be fine if it was an ordinary woman. I am a top student in the School of Foreign Languages and one of the eight golden flowers. I am now the most beautiful female civil servant in the General Office of the Municipal Government, and a deputy department-level researcher in the Third Department of Comprehensive Affairs. The person who serves is the executive vice mayor. Why should a woman like me marry a small chief clerk? Am I not surrendering?
After returning home, Mu Jingyu obeyed and cared for me in every way, cooking and washing clothes, but I hate men who do housework the most. A real man should give in to the world of fame and fortune, be in awesome and instruct the country, have status, be dignified and dignified, and let his women live like a piece of jade that everyone loves.
But now my high-than-looking husband is not as good as my level in the officialdom. I really don’t understand why I married him in a fascinating way.
At that time, my mother thought he was from a small place and firmly disagreed with our marriage. I am a rebellious person. The more you object, the more I want to marry him.
Now when I look back and think about it carefully, I still respond to the old saying, "I will suffer losses if I don't listen to the old man."
In fact, Mu Jingyu was very outstanding at the time. He was always the first in the class in the four years of college entrance examinations and wrote a good poem. When he was in the second year of college, he began to pursue me. The love poem he wrote for me was so stingy. There is a poem I still remember fresh in my memory. The first few sentences were written like this: Dear, I have always been worried about not being able to put you into my arms. It was your cherry lips that made me find magic, that is, love you, kiss you, kiss you!
Is this called poetry?
This is a naked teasing, and I don’t understand. He pursues girls so scheming, why is there no way to climb up?
He is good at foreign languages and can speak Russian and English proficiently.
Especially in Russian, few people can master the power grid system in Jiangnan Province. Not to mention the power grid system, even the Haidong Foreign Office does not have a qualified Russian translator. Because of this expertise, many leaders of the power system go to Russia. Others and leaders can deepen their relationship every time they go on a business trip, but he is like a routine, and he doesn't know how to speculate at all. As a result, after returning to China, he will do whatever he should do.
I always suspected that he had a thrust in his head and knew nothing about the officialdom.
After finding such an inappropriate husband, I have no hope of becoming a queen, so I can only be a yellow-faced woman, but I am unwilling to accept it!
In fact, it’s not that I don’t have love in my heart, but this love can only be buried in my heart, because in my eyes, Han Chuyan is always far away in the sky, and I keep repeating the most sincere poem in my heart: Dear, please don’t be angry, I just want to sleep with you!
This is the most fleshly poem and the most soulful poem, but it is destined not to belong to the flesh, he is the soul, but I can only offer it to him, because the only thing I can show off is the flesh.
What I look forward to most is to be an interpreter for Han Chuyan. He never asks for full-time translator from the Municipal Foreign Affairs Office. Every time he meets a foreign guest, he only asks me to be his full-time translator. This is my happiest moment because this is the moment I am closest to him.
Han Chuyan not only needs the love of his people, but also his women. I just want to be his woman. What's wrong with this?
If he falls in love with me, I can control him like an angel. I will control Han Chuyan and everyone in Haidong City. This glory is what all women dream of, especially a beautiful woman like me!
You should know that I am a swan, I am not a toad, but there is one toad, that is Wen Changxia.
This dead pig head is as fat as a ball, and he dares to make a decision. A developer, who wants to wag his tail and beg for pity when he sees Chen Haisheng, actually wants to eat my tofu. It really makes me unable to stand it, especially when he smiles like a huge piece of cow dung, it is simply a destruction of flowers!
Soon, my secret love for Han Chuyan was shattered because he was about to rise.
This is not only a blow to the body, but also a blow to the soul. The heart will not only beat, but also be hit.
Han Chuyan became the leader, and Chen Haisheng, the youngest member of the Standing Committee of the Municipal Party Committee of Haidong City, took over as executive vice mayor.
In fact, Chen Haisheng has always had a good impression of me, because when he met foreign guests, he didn't use the translator from the Municipal Foreign Affairs Office, and he liked to use me, but there was one thing that was different from Han Chuyan, that was, he never avoided my gaze.
The Book of Songs says: The doves are singing in the river island; the beautiful ladies are the kindness of gentlemen.In fact, prince charming and women are also good.
Gradually, my heart moved again.
If you say a thousand words, you can’t make any big waves in the three small areas. When it comes to home, you are just a ripples in a cup or a bowl, and even a basin is not counted.
The former director did not allow anyone in the department to report to Han Chuyan alone. Han Chuyan became his private property. Xie Wen's second move to reflect democracy is to allow Sun Xiaokan to report to Deputy Mayor Chen alone. Of course, Zhang Zhixin and I also have a chance, but we can't take big materials, and we can't accept this at all.
I always think that whether the article is well written depends on talent. I don’t have talent in this area, nor does Zhang Zhixin. It’s okay to write a meeting minutes.
After Xie Weng came, Wang Haihong became a professional overseas student and handed over all the materials to Sun Xiaokan.
At first I couldn't quite understand the intention of Xie Wen's doing this. Gradually, I figured it out that everyone in the office is interested in going abroad. Every time I go abroad, not only does it take for free, but it also gives me a sum of money. You should know that this sum is equivalent to the salary of a civil servant for several months, or even a year's salary.
If you accompany the city leaders abroad, you may take the opportunity to show your diligence and get close to the leader. Maybe this trip will be appreciated by the leader and will be promoted to the next level when you return to China.
Now Wang Haihong has become a professional overseas student in the third department of Comprehensive Affairs. Seeing that his relationship with Vice Mayor Chen is getting closer and closer, Sun Xiaokan's workload has doubled. Although Sun Xiaokan is a silent person, I know that he must be jealous of Wang Haihong indignantly. This can be seen from Sun Xiaokan's attitude of neglecting Wang Haihong.
Zhang Zhixin and I were even more unbalanced.
I know that Zhang Zhixin went to the third place of Comprehensive Affairs and wanted to be the mayor's secretary, but he couldn't get the big materials, so he didn't have the chance to face Deputy Mayor Chen, so he could only curry favor with Jia Qinghua. Jia Qinghua was studying for a master's degree, and almost became Zhang Zhixin studying for him.
The most pity is me. A woman works in the three comprehensive departments and can only manage internal affairs. Fortunately, I still have expertise in foreign languages, otherwise I would not have any chance to show up in public. Although I am not good at writing big materials, I have strong organizational skills and I am confident that I can be a director. However, as far as I know, several comprehensive departments of the Municipal Government Office have never had a female director, so there is no hope of being a director in the comprehensive department.
When I first came to work at the Third Department of Comprehensive Affairs, like Zhang Zhixin, I also had the dream of being a mayor's secretary, but the male mayor could not be a female secretary. It is said that I am afraid of the bad influence. As long as there is no ghost in your heart, what are you afraid of?
It is purely because there is no silver here, but its essence is actually discrimination against women.
Among the mayor and nine deputy mayors, there is only one female deputy mayor, and the comprehensive mayor serves her everywhere. The female deputy mayor is in charge of the city's public security, procuratorial and judicial system. She is very majestic. If she can become a secretary, she might be able to serve as director of the Political Department of the Municipal Public Security Bureau when she leaves her in the future. Coincidentally, there are no female comrades everywhere. The former secretary is just over the expiration. The female mayor needs to be equipped with a secretary. He is selected in several comprehensive offices. In theory, I am the most promising. The female mayor also likes me very much. Later, someone slandered that I am too beautiful and it damages the image of the leader. The female mayor looks average, but has a very temperamental demeanor.
I have too many competitors and my background is too complicated. People like me who have neither roots nor branches are occupied by an ugly girl from the General Office 5. This is the only opportunity for me to become the mayor's secretary, just because I am too beautiful. Is it guilty to be beautiful?
Now I have no chance. My husband can’t count on it, and my parents can’t count on it. I can only rely on myself.
I have two major resources. The first is that I am beautiful, and the second is that I have a good foreign language. Goethe said well: Which boy doesn’t love him?Which girl doesn’t have spring?If you want to make good use of these two resources to change my future, you can only rely on love.
Later, I went to the department-level cadre class for training in the Municipal Administrative College. At the opening ceremony, the leaders of the school spoke. I appreciated the respect of Chen Haisheng's wife Li Shufen for the first time.
Li Shufen is the vice dean of the Municipal Administrative Academy. My feeling is just one word: ugly!
This greatly increased my confidence in winning.
After the training, as soon as I returned to the General Office, Jia Qinghua gave me a task and went to Deputy Mayor Chen's office to help Deputy Mayor Chen sort out the photos. This was a god-given opportunity, and my heart suddenly jumped up.
All along, my life has been like a pool of stagnant water, not even a slight ripples. I like changing destiny. Only change can stimulate enough, and only change can bring freedom. But my current life is like a filing cabinet in the corner and will never change. But after all, I am not a filing cabinet, I am a human, a living beautiful woman!
Human nature is highly dynamic, and its depth contains the movement of fire.
I'm going to be in a storm movement now.
I can't stand the life like a stagnant pool of water in my ears. I want to throw a big rock into the water to find me around me. I am a flower, a flower that can decorate the world.
Dostoevsky believed that beauty saved the world, and for him, nothing was higher than beauty.
I don’t have the ambition to save the world, nor do I have that ability, but I can save a man, of course I don’t refer to Mu Jingyu. Mu Jingyu is no longer saved, of course I don’t refer to Han Chuyan, because he is too far away from me. I haven’t thought about whether it’s Wen Changxia, but there is someone I’ve saved, and this is Chen Haisheng.
I want to rescue him from his ugly wife and use my love to let him understand that there is always a kind of power in this world that can make him cry, and this is my love.
When I walked into Chen Haisheng's office, he was sitting on the sofa holding a photo in his hand. There were several drawers of photos stacked on the coffee table, and there were more than a dozen new albums next to it. It seemed that my task was to put these photos into the album.
I shouted respectfully: Mayor Chen!
Chen Haisheng reluctantly woke up from his memories, with a sweet smile on his face. When he saw me standing in front of him, his eyes lit up, he quickly asked me to sit down. There was no city leader's attitude towards his subordinates. He was approachable, kind and kind, and also had the joy of having a long drought.
I felt a little embarrassed by his lustful gaze. I made up my mind and sat beside him boldly and asked: Mayor Chen, I was fascinated by all the photos. Could it be that I had a good time?
If it were Han Chuyan, I would never dare to tease him with such words.
Beibei, Chen Haisheng’s eyes looked at me very vividly. Do you know what it means to be a good person?I think that only friendship is true love in the world, marriage is just routine. Any love limited by rules, responsibilities and obligations cannot be considered true love, it is routine.
Unexpectedly, Chen Haisheng would be so open in his heart, so I took the opportunity to test: Maybe the relationship is just Eurydick.
Chen Haisheng asked in confusion: What does it mean?
I smiled charmingly and explained: In Greek mythology, the poet and singer Orpheus went to the underworld to find his dead wife. He moved Queen Ming with the sound of the piano. Queen Ming asked him to take his wife back to the world, but the condition was that he was not allowed to look back on the road. When Orpheus was almost at the ground, he couldn't help but look back at his wife, and his wife was taken back to the underworld.
After hearing this, Chen Haisheng sighed: This is very similar to Faust and Helen, but I still appreciate what Faust said to Helen: Don’t think about this unique destiny!Existence is an obligation, even if it is only a moment.
This sentence comes to my heart. My dream is to be Yang Guifei, even if I am sentenced to death on Maweipo in the future.
So I stared at him and said: Maybe it was the tip of the knife in a moment!
Chen Haisheng smiled and said: I just like the tip of the knife. I have been waiting for the tip of the knife for a long time. Beibei, do you have the courage to make the tip of the knife?
This clearly shows me. I thought to myself, since you like the tip of a knife, I will pierce your heart and see if you know if you feel sorry for it?
Mayor Chen, I boldly approached him and said warmly, aren’t you afraid of being bitten by a snake?
Beibei, Chen Haisheng gasped and said, "Is it a snake from the Garden of Eden?"Don’t forget that it instigated humans to steal the forbidden fruit. Little baby, be my forbidden fruit, I can’t wait!
After Chen Haisheng said that, he hugged me in his arms, and in this way, I became the forbidden fruit he ate.
In order to realize my queen dream, I finally took the first step, and I was very excited about it.
I long to dig into the depths of love, to the depths of night, until I dive into Chen Haisheng's heart, I want to sleep in his heart, I want to get up in his heart, I live in his heart, kiss his heart every day.
As soon as Chen Haisheng took office, he focused on investment promotion with great fanfare. After the city-wide investment promotion mobilization meeting was held, a series of large-scale investment promotion activities were held, and foreign businessmen from all over the country came in a flood.
I feel that even though Chen Haisheng is bound by a black hat, he still can't stop his handsomeness. I dare to conclude that if Chen Haisheng does not work in politics, but becomes an actor, he must be a love affair.
I originally thought that after following Chen Haisheng, I would get everything I wanted, but so far I haven't even gotten a full-time researcher.
I have told him more than once, and he was vague. I knew that what he wanted was a woman, not a female civil servant. It seemed that he had achieved his goal after getting me, but he didn't even have any!
I decided to give him some color. Since raw rice is made into cooked rice, he should be allowed to eat the rice. He has to eat it even if he doesn't. Anyway, cooked rice cannot become raw rice.
So Chen Haisheng and I had a more private meeting. The most exciting time was when I went to deliver documents to him a few days ago. Without saying a word, he hugged me on his boss's stand. He could have been on the sofa or at his rest room. There was a single bed in it, which was specially for him to take a lunch break, but he did it too many times in those two places and was not exciting enough. Chen Haisheng was very good at renovating things in this regard.
I once hoped that I would change my style and become a man and taste the taste of women. But just thinking about it, it is not only women who can enjoy women, but women can still enjoy men. Every time I make Chen Haisheng soft and fascinated.
In terms of courage, Chen Haisheng is not Mu Jingyu's figure. It's a pity that if Mu Jingyu can be as hard as his cock in his career and give his woman a glory, why should I exchange it with my body!
Although Mu Jingyu couldn't stand up in his career, he was masculine and often went to the gym to exercise and was covered in lumps. Chen Haisheng and I have always done a very secret thing, because once he knew, he was not a fuel-efficient lamp.
What puzzles me over the years is that although Mu Jingyu is extremely brave in bed, I can never get pregnant. A man of such a strong person is actually very stingy. If we have a child, I might become the best mother, but Mu Jingyu won’t even give me my dream of being a mother!
Destiny is so autocratic!
But not long after, gradually, Chen Haisheng met with American merchants in the foreign guest room, but did not use me as a translator, but used the translator from the Municipal Foreign Affairs Office. When Wang Haihong accompanied the meeting, he was a little puzzled because I always used me as the translator when Chen Haisheng met with foreign guests. After he came back, he asked me why. I just smiled indifferently, but I suddenly became alert. I guess Chen Haisheng had begun to enter the stage of getting rid of me.
Sure enough, Chen Haisheng didn't look for me when he met with foreign guests several times. However, when Han Chuyan met with foreign guests, he asked his secretary to come to me. I almost became Han Chuyan's full-time translator.
I have always wanted to find an opportunity to question Chen Haisheng, but he has been going to Shenzhen frequently recently, and after he came back, he was so busy that he was nowhere to be seen. I have never found a suitable opportunity.
I was in panic, but what can I do if I am a weak woman?
I have never felt so powerless.
I knelt down and licked Chen Haisheng at all costs. Finally, when Chen Haisheng went to Shenzhen, he informed me to go to Shenzhen in advance and wait for him quietly.
From Shenzhen to Macau, I spent a few ridiculous days.
In Macau, after Chen Haisheng left the hotel every day, he asked me to wait for him in the hotel room. Every time he came back, I was simply his sex slave.
What's even more ridiculous is that Wen Changxia also joined. I never thought that Wen Changxia, a pig-like man, would have such a big cock, and it was even more brave than Mu Jingyu.
Wen Changxia’s private pet, the girl who seemed to be named Tong Jingjing, was like two sex slaves. I was enema by Tong Jingjing, and then my anus was filled with the semen of Chen Haisheng and Wen Changxia. I said countless words insulting Chen Haisheng under the thrusting of Chen Haisheng and Wen Changxia. In the end, I even seduced Sun Xiaokan with Tong Jingjing like a dog.
But I can see that Sun Xiaokan and Chen Haisheng are not the same kind of people.
Chen Haisheng said that he wanted to get Mu Jingyu to Haidong City as soon as possible to reunite you and your husband.
The implication of this sentence is very obvious. First, my relationship with him has been cut off from now on. The last bit of sexual value he has crazily squeezed me out of this past few days is proof; second, helping my husband to transfer it can also be regarded as giving me a reward and explanation.
These days, he has recorded a large number of photos and videos of me and got my most humble handle.
After returning from Shenzhen, I was completely disappointed and couldn't wait to take a short leave to go to the county to reunite with Mu Jingyu. I feel that the whole world is now full of shit, and only Mu Jingyu is the most stable.
The bad thing is that during the few days when Mu Jingyu and I were together, I had a pregnancy reaction myself. I felt nauseous and vomited when I woke up in the morning. Mu Jingyu suddenly became alert, but he did not show his voice. He also asked me with concern what was wrong. I covered up and said that he ate something that was not good last night and wanted to accompany me to the hospital. I said no, so he hurried to work.
I am pregnant, and I know it myself. It is not enough to transfer Mu Jingyu tightly. I asked Chen Haisheng to get real benefits when he sleeps. I want to use pregnancy to threaten him. At least I will solve the problem of the department-level researcher first. Before he and his ugly woman divorced, I will not have a baby for him. I am not that stupid. In fact, I can completely pretend to be pregnant and deceive him. However, since I married Mu Jingyu, I have been looking forward to getting pregnant every day, but I just can't get pregnant.
As a woman, I don’t even know what it feels like to be pregnant. Are you still a woman?
Besides, I’m still afraid of getting pregnant after I’ve been asleep?
Pregnancy is a touchstone to test whether a man has you in his heart.
However, for the sake of accuracy, I went to the city’s Maternity and Infant Hospital and ended up being two months pregnant.
I was walking and looking at the test sheet. Someone patted my shoulder. When I turned around, I almost scared. Mu Jingyu snatched the test sheet and took a closer look, then threw it hard on my face, squeezed out two words from the gap of my teeth: Shameless!Then he left.
I never expected Mu Jingyu to follow me, but I didn't notice it at all. I chased me out desperately, trying to catch up with Mu Jingyu and explain something, but the person was gone. I stood in front of the hospital door, thinking that what should come finally came. I took a taxi in a daze, and everywhere I asked Xie Weng for half a month off. Xie Weng agreed happily. I simply packed up the things I had and left the three places in the comprehensive.I walked to Chen Haisheng's office and pushed it. The door was locked. Damn it, I had such a big deal that I couldn't even see his figure.So I called Jia Qinghua to cell phone and asked him where Chen Haisheng was. I wanted to see him. Jia Qinghua teased: Xu Xiaobei, who do you think you are? If you want to see Mayor Chen, see Mayor Chen?I was on fire and said: Jia Qinghua, tell Chen Haisheng, aunt, I'm pregnant!Jia Qinghua suddenly burst into laughter and said viciously: Is it a good thing Wen Changxia did?I suddenly became angry and shouted: Jia Qinghua... Before I finished speaking, Jia Qinghua hung up his phone.
I didn't go home right away, but wandered around the street with a tumultuous aura. I was like a lost lamb, looking for the sheep pen around my soul. My heart was in a mess. I felt that it was not scary for Chen Haisheng to hide from me, and it was not scary for Jia Qinghua to insult me. The most terrible thing was that Mu Jingyu knew everything. The damn Mu Jingyu actually followed me like a spy and actually called me shameless.
When he proposed to me, he kept assured me that I would become the happiest wife in the world.
No bullshit, husband is not expensive, how can a wife be happy?
A man who cannot do it is shameless. If you cuckold you, you are anxious. Tell you that a mediocre man should be cuckold!
While I was thinking wildly, I remembered the sentence at the beginning of "Lolita": Lolita is the light of my life, the fire of desire, and also my sin and my soul.I originally wanted to be Mu Jingyu's light of life and fire of desire, but he could not ignite me no matter what, so I began to look for a man who could ignite me. But I found that no matter whether it is light or fire, it was something similar to darkness. Chen Haisheng's handsome and full of power-hungry face flashed in my mind from time to time. I realized in pain that once a person is occupied by desire, no exorcism can drive it away. I felt a little cold, and I felt that the dead bookstore was like a cold grave. My destination should not be a grave, it should be a sheep pen.
I raised my head on the street, and the sunlight pierced, piercing my body like a cold arrow.
It was time to show off with Mu Jingyu, but Mu Jingyu did not go home and his phone was not turned on. I waited for him at home all night, and I was not sleepy at all during this night.
It started to rain heavily outside at dawn, and Mu Jingyu returned home like a chicken. I don’t know what he did outside this night. After getting married, although he sometimes went home in the middle of the night, he never stayed at night. It didn’t seem like he was wandering around all night. I had no intention of asking him why he didn’t go home all night, but instead spread the “Divorce Agreement” written in advance in front of him and said coldly: Sign!
Mu Jingyu looked at the Divorce Agreement with contempt, and then said coldly: Xu Xiaobei, your dream is too heavy, and it is time to wake up. Don’t think that divorce can be settled. I advise you to think about it carefully before talking.
I said without hesitation: Sign, I have already thought about it!
Mu Jingyu said coldly: You have thought about it, I haven’t thought about it yet, please avoid it. I have urgent matters and don’t have time to waste time with you!As he said that, he reached out and pushed me away, until he took out a file bag from the drawer of the desk in the study and put it in the briefcase, turned around and left.
I stepped forward to stop him and shouted: Mu Jingyu, why don’t you sign?
Mu Jingyu smiled coldly and said: Xu Xiaobei, I think you have water in your head!After saying that, he slammed the door and left.
I couldn't help it anymore and shouted hysterically: I see that you not only have water in your head, but also have urine and shit!Whose men are not upright? There is no more unreliable man like you in the world. You are worthy of being a man!
My shouts must have heard them, but Mu Jingyu didn't. He flashed like a ghost and disappeared. I felt very painful in my heart, like a piece of lead blocking, which made me breathless. I thought to myself, I would meet Chen Haisheng no matter what. I believe that Jia Qinghua had told him about my pregnancy, but Chen Haisheng did not call me. My heart became more and more panicked. I knew very well that threatening Chen Haisheng was to be a fire, and might burn me to death, but I couldn't get anything. I made up my mind, took an umbrella and left home, and went to the General Office of the Municipal Government in the rain.
I walked straight to Chen Haisheng's office door, and the two doors were still closed tightly. I had to hide in the corner of the corridor to call Jia Qinghua. Jia Qinghua asked me angrily what happened?
I asked calmly, when will Chen Haisheng be back?
He said coldly, and there was nothing to tell.
I knew Chen Haisheng was hiding from me, so I closed my phone angrily.
As soon as I closed my phone, the message prompt sounded. When I opened it, I saw a joke sent by Jia Qinghua: Miss Bai Luobo is trying hard to lose weight and is as thin as a bone. Her mother said dissatisfiedly: Who will marry you if she is so thin?
‘White Radish said disdainfully: Baijiu is staring at me every day, always wanting to soak me, and even calling me ginseng!’ Jia Qinghua was clearly insulting me, and my lungs were almost irritated. I wanted to call back his cell phone. My cell phone was out of power. The more I thought about it, the more cowardly I became. If my husband was even a mayor secretary like Sun Xiaokan, or even a young man, if my husband was a boss like Wen Changxia, or if I could get a job with a half-time position, why would I suffer from the anger of a villain like Jia Qinghua?
The more I thought about it, the more frustrated I returned to the place without reason, picked up the phone and called Mu Jingyu. Everyone in the place was there, looking at me like kangaroos. I scolded Mu Jingyu on the phone and told him that I was divorced. Xie Wen waved his hand and asked everyone in the place to go out. He walked up to me to comfort me, but he didn't seem to know what to say, so he had to shake his head and go out.
I angrily dropped the phone and felt a huge grievance surged in my heart. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was living like a ragged rag. I knew that Chen Haisheng and I were over. In order not to worsen the situation and save my job, I had to abolish the child. I made up my mind and left the three places.
I took a taxi to the hospital in the rain and endured huge pain and had an abortion. I didn’t go home, but took a taxi to my mother’s house.
I turned off my phone and blocked all Mu Jingyu's social accounts, including WeChat. I rested at my mother's house for half a month. During this period, only Mu Jingyu called my mother's house twice, and my mother answered the phone.
The first time was when he asked about my physical condition, the second time was when he informed that he had resigned and was going to work in a company in Shenzhen. He also said that he had signed the "Divorce Agreement". After I learned the news, I threw myself into my mother's arms and cried bitterly.
Half a month later, I returned home. There was indeed a signed "Divorce Agreement" on the coffee table in the living room. Mu Jingyu also left me a letter. I took out the letter from the envelope with trembling hands. The letter was neatly written: Beibei, marrying me will make you wronged. If you can't give you happiness, then give you freedom.However, I still want to tell you as my brother: We live by life, not by identity and status!
Nonsense, who doesn’t know that life is the most precious thing? The problem is that without identity, no value, and no status, what is the meaning of life?
Especially for women, how can they be noble without identity or value?
Which woman doesn’t want to be a noble woman?
It’s good to break up, I just want to use breakup to dictatorship on him. Since love has been distorted by life, let’s live in a skewed way. Anyway, the wrong things will still be right as long as they are skewed.
However, even the burning ashes will have a warmth when you put your hands in. Moreover, we have lived together for years, and I held Mu Jingyu's breakup letter and rolled down with tears.
Roman.
Roland said, I got rid of others, I got rid of myself, and my heart was free.
At this moment, although I broke up with Mu Jingyu, I didn’t feel free in my heart. Why?
Why?
I suddenly realized that I should have a break with Chen Haisheng. Since you were hiding from me and couldn't contact anything on phone, text, WeChat, I had to write a letter to you. I decided to write a letter to Chen Haisheng to explain the pain I suffered for him clearly. Whether you give me or not, it's all over the place.
I, Xu Xiaobei, are not golden phoenixes, but you, Chen Haisheng, are by no means sycamore trees. From then on, I will walk my way and cross your bridge.
After I finished writing this letter, I felt a little relieved.
During this period, I was under too much mental pressure and I could hardly hold on. Perhaps what Mu Jingyu said makes sense. If life does not exist, how can I have identity and value?
I got up at five o'clock the next morning, and after a simple meal, I took a taxi to the city government.
In the morning, the girls in the official class cleaned the mayor's office and had to finish cleaning before the mayors went to work. I wanted to take this opportunity to put the letter on Chen Haisheng's desk so that I could avoid Jia Qinghua.
It was exactly seven o'clock when I arrived at the city government. The corridor of the general office was very quiet. The doors were open in each mayor's office, and the buzz of the vacuum cleaner sounded from time to time.
I walked straight to Chen Haisheng's office, but the two doors were closed tightly. I pushed it gently and the door opened. I flashed into the room. When I entered Chen Haisheng's office, I had to pass through Jia Qinghua's office. Jia Qinghua and Chen Haisheng's office were inside and outside. What puzzled me was that the door in the inner room was also closed. Could it be that someone?
I thought to myself, who else can there be except the girls in the official class?
Neither Chen Haisheng nor Jia Qinghua came so early. There were ten girls in the official class, each of whom was in charge of a mayor's office. Every morning, these girls were all technical secondary school students who graduated from tourism vocational schools. I think since the door of Chen Haisheng's office was open, the girl in the official class who was specifically responsible for Chen Haisheng's office must be there, so she pushed open the door gently. Sure enough, there was a girl, but a girl I didn't know was sneaking through the waste paper in the trash can, as if she was looking for something.
I immediately became alert and asked with a tense face: Who are you?Why haven't I seen you before?The girl was looking for something attentively, but she was startled by me, but she quickly calmed down and said with a smile: It's Sister Beibei, you don't know me, I know you, the number one beauty in the General Office, I am Zhang Jiewen from the official class, newcomer, originally responsible for cleaning Mayor Liu's office, but Lin Doudou had something to do at home, so I had to do it for her.
I felt very happy when I heard her praise me as the number one beauty in the General Office, but Zhang Jiewen in front of me suddenly didn't look like that, but the more I looked, the more I looked, the more beautiful it was, which was no less than my appearance. So I asked jealously: Why did you become the one who cleaned Mayor Liu's office?
Zhang Jiewen smiled calmly and said: The person I used to be transferred to the canteen to sell meal tickets. Now I am in charge of Mayor Liu's room.
Thinking of her sneaky look just now, I asked unhappily: What were you looking for just now?Before Zhang Jiewen could answer, Zhang Zhixin came in. Sister Beibei, why did you come so early?When Zhang Jiewen saw someone disconnecting from my question, she ignored me and picked up the vacuum cleaner to do work.
I hurriedly put the letter on Chen Haisheng's desk, then turned around and asked Zhang Zhixin: Zhixin, why did you come so early?Zhang Zhixin smiled and said: Brother Jia said his computer was not working, so he asked me to come over early to help him check.After saying that, he walked to Jia Qinghua's computer desk and turned on the computer. I was afraid that Zhang Zhixin would see my motivation to enter Chen Haisheng's office, so he said, "You should be busy, so he left Chen Haisheng's office."
The only person who cares about me the most seems to be Wen Changxia. After he learned about my divorce, he invited me to a meal with great sympathy.
At the dining table, I respected Wen Changxia with melancholy. After Wen Changxia drank it all, I put down the cup and asked thoughtfully: Beibei, have you and Mu Jingyu been with him for so many years, is he good at gambling?
I said disdainfully: He doesn't have that kind of courage. If he has the courage to bet, he wouldn't just be a small deputy section-level reserve and could only stay in the county.
No, Wen Changxia shook his head and said, "It seems that you don't really understand Mu Jingyu. Last week, I saw a person at the Macau Lisboa Casino, who looked like Mu Jingyu, wearing sunglasses. At first, I thought I had recognized the wrong person because he didn't wear glasses before. Later, he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. I decided it was Mu Jingyu, so I shouted and wanted to come forward to say hello to him. If I didn't shout, he left hurriedly.Beibei, this Mu Jingyu has only been away from you for a few days, how could he appear in Macau?Could he make a fortune and go to Macau to squander?
After Wen Changxia finished speaking like a storytelling, I was forced to burst into tears and said while laughing: Fatty, you must have recognized the wrong person.I have been married to Mu Jingyu for so many years, but I still don’t know him?If he wants to make a fortune, should I divorce him?!
Wen Changxia was a little disbelief and long. Waves waves waves sounded.
Then he slammed me indirectly for a while, but didn't ask for any information.
In fact, I was already very far apart from Mu Jingyu. He was just a lump of wood. I don’t believe that he would go to Macau. He didn’t have the capital or the courage.
Wen Changxia's words moved me deeply. After drinking and eating, Wen Changxia wanted to take me with a car, but I refused. I wanted to walk alone.
I have never been as calm and empty as I am today. I have always been unwilling to be calm and always wanted to create a destiny for myself, but my destiny seemed to be instructed by others like Chen Haisheng to bully weak women like me.
I hate fate, it is fate that gives the world to men and lets men rule women. I dare say that if this world can be ruled by women, it will definitely be much better, at least full of maternal love, and maternal love is the greatest.
However, women are not born to rule the world, women are born to rule men, and men are born to be born to women, so they must be ruled by women.
But this is not the case in reality. The reality is that women are born to be fun by men. There are two kinds of games for men. The first is power and the second is women.
Who created these two games?
Not a damn fate.
Fate also arranged for a woman to have an aunt who would visit her once a month. As long as a woman lives, she would bleed. This is the damn fate.
Since I had an abortion, something seemed to have gone wrong in my body, or something had grown. I came here for two days every week. I knew I should go to find a doctor, but I am looking for a toilet now, because shortly after the miscarriage, the damn aunt came again. Fortunately, I brought sanitary napkins.
It started drizzling from the sky, and then I took a taxi. At this time, the rain was getting heavier and heavier, and I was like a awake body... I know from now on, no matter whether my situation is good or bad, it will be just a desolate existence. In fact, existence is life, and life is existence.
Damn life, damn existence!
If she hadn't become the queen first, she would never have dreamed of becoming the emperor. Despite this, after her death, the world would be cheaper.
No wonder Jia Baoyu said: My daughter is made of flesh and blood, while men are made of flesh and blood.When I see my daughter, I feel refreshed; when I see the man, I feel the stinking.Why do women make water? They are meant to cleanse the world.
Actually, I don’t like Jia Baoyu’s words. Comparing women to water makes people think of watery poplar flowers.
I think women are made of jade.
At least a beautiful woman is made of jade.
Condensing the spiritual energy of heaven and earth, revealing the essence of the sun and moon, solid and warm, beautiful and wise, noble and restrained, and wise and charming.
But I have been married for five years, and my husband didn't even give me jade chips. He was busy all day long. After busying, he was just a deputy chief engineer of the county power grid department, and he could barely be considered a deputy section-level reserve.
His classmates at that time all became directors and deputy directors. As a man, he can’t do anything in his career. How can he be a good person?
Seeing other women's husbands rise to the top, their own men can't even make a personal difference in society. Can the psychology of being a wife be balanced?
Which woman doesn’t expect her husband to be honored by her wife?
It would be fine if it was an ordinary woman. I am a top student in the School of Foreign Languages and one of the eight golden flowers. I am now the most beautiful female civil servant in the General Office of the Municipal Government, and a deputy department-level researcher in the Third Department of Comprehensive Affairs. The person who serves is the executive vice mayor. Why should a woman like me marry a small chief clerk? Am I not surrendering?
After returning home, Mu Jingyu obeyed and cared for me in every way, cooking and washing clothes, but I hate men who do housework the most. A real man should give in to the world of fame and fortune, be in awesome and instruct the country, have status, be dignified and dignified, and let his women live like a piece of jade that everyone loves.
But now my high-than-looking husband is not as good as my level in the officialdom. I really don’t understand why I married him in a fascinating way.
At that time, my mother thought he was from a small place and firmly disagreed with our marriage. I am a rebellious person. The more you object, the more I want to marry him.
Now when I look back and think about it carefully, I still respond to the old saying, "I will suffer losses if I don't listen to the old man."
In fact, Mu Jingyu was very outstanding at the time. He was always the first in the class in the four years of college entrance examinations and wrote a good poem. When he was in the second year of college, he began to pursue me. The love poem he wrote for me was so stingy. There is a poem I still remember fresh in my memory. The first few sentences were written like this: Dear, I have always been worried about not being able to put you into my arms. It was your cherry lips that made me find magic, that is, love you, kiss you, kiss you!
Is this called poetry?
This is a naked teasing, and I don’t understand. He pursues girls so scheming, why is there no way to climb up?
He is good at foreign languages and can speak Russian and English proficiently.
Especially in Russian, few people can master the power grid system in Jiangnan Province. Not to mention the power grid system, even the Haidong Foreign Office does not have a qualified Russian translator. Because of this expertise, many leaders of the power system go to Russia. Others and leaders can deepen their relationship every time they go on a business trip, but he is like a routine, and he doesn't know how to speculate at all. As a result, after returning to China, he will do whatever he should do.
I always suspected that he had a thrust in his head and knew nothing about the officialdom.
After finding such an inappropriate husband, I have no hope of becoming a queen, so I can only be a yellow-faced woman, but I am unwilling to accept it!
In fact, it’s not that I don’t have love in my heart, but this love can only be buried in my heart, because in my eyes, Han Chuyan is always far away in the sky, and I keep repeating the most sincere poem in my heart: Dear, please don’t be angry, I just want to sleep with you!
This is the most fleshly poem and the most soulful poem, but it is destined not to belong to the flesh, he is the soul, but I can only offer it to him, because the only thing I can show off is the flesh.
What I look forward to most is to be an interpreter for Han Chuyan. He never asks for full-time translator from the Municipal Foreign Affairs Office. Every time he meets a foreign guest, he only asks me to be his full-time translator. This is my happiest moment because this is the moment I am closest to him.
Han Chuyan not only needs the love of his people, but also his women. I just want to be his woman. What's wrong with this?
If he falls in love with me, I can control him like an angel. I will control Han Chuyan and everyone in Haidong City. This glory is what all women dream of, especially a beautiful woman like me!
You should know that I am a swan, I am not a toad, but there is one toad, that is Wen Changxia.
This dead pig head is as fat as a ball, and he dares to make a decision. A developer, who wants to wag his tail and beg for pity when he sees Chen Haisheng, actually wants to eat my tofu. It really makes me unable to stand it, especially when he smiles like a huge piece of cow dung, it is simply a destruction of flowers!
Soon, my secret love for Han Chuyan was shattered because he was about to rise.
This is not only a blow to the body, but also a blow to the soul. The heart will not only beat, but also be hit.
Han Chuyan became the leader, and Chen Haisheng, the youngest member of the Standing Committee of the Municipal Party Committee of Haidong City, took over as executive vice mayor.
In fact, Chen Haisheng has always had a good impression of me, because when he met foreign guests, he didn't use the translator from the Municipal Foreign Affairs Office, and he liked to use me, but there was one thing that was different from Han Chuyan, that was, he never avoided my gaze.
The Book of Songs says: The doves are singing in the river island; the beautiful ladies are the kindness of gentlemen.In fact, prince charming and women are also good.
Gradually, my heart moved again.
If you say a thousand words, you can’t make any big waves in the three small areas. When it comes to home, you are just a ripples in a cup or a bowl, and even a basin is not counted.
The former director did not allow anyone in the department to report to Han Chuyan alone. Han Chuyan became his private property. Xie Wen's second move to reflect democracy is to allow Sun Xiaokan to report to Deputy Mayor Chen alone. Of course, Zhang Zhixin and I also have a chance, but we can't take big materials, and we can't accept this at all.
I always think that whether the article is well written depends on talent. I don’t have talent in this area, nor does Zhang Zhixin. It’s okay to write a meeting minutes.
After Xie Weng came, Wang Haihong became a professional overseas student and handed over all the materials to Sun Xiaokan.
At first I couldn't quite understand the intention of Xie Wen's doing this. Gradually, I figured it out that everyone in the office is interested in going abroad. Every time I go abroad, not only does it take for free, but it also gives me a sum of money. You should know that this sum is equivalent to the salary of a civil servant for several months, or even a year's salary.
If you accompany the city leaders abroad, you may take the opportunity to show your diligence and get close to the leader. Maybe this trip will be appreciated by the leader and will be promoted to the next level when you return to China.
Now Wang Haihong has become a professional overseas student in the third department of Comprehensive Affairs. Seeing that his relationship with Vice Mayor Chen is getting closer and closer, Sun Xiaokan's workload has doubled. Although Sun Xiaokan is a silent person, I know that he must be jealous of Wang Haihong indignantly. This can be seen from Sun Xiaokan's attitude of neglecting Wang Haihong.
Zhang Zhixin and I were even more unbalanced.
I know that Zhang Zhixin went to the third place of Comprehensive Affairs and wanted to be the mayor's secretary, but he couldn't get the big materials, so he didn't have the chance to face Deputy Mayor Chen, so he could only curry favor with Jia Qinghua. Jia Qinghua was studying for a master's degree, and almost became Zhang Zhixin studying for him.
The most pity is me. A woman works in the three comprehensive departments and can only manage internal affairs. Fortunately, I still have expertise in foreign languages, otherwise I would not have any chance to show up in public. Although I am not good at writing big materials, I have strong organizational skills and I am confident that I can be a director. However, as far as I know, several comprehensive departments of the Municipal Government Office have never had a female director, so there is no hope of being a director in the comprehensive department.
When I first came to work at the Third Department of Comprehensive Affairs, like Zhang Zhixin, I also had the dream of being a mayor's secretary, but the male mayor could not be a female secretary. It is said that I am afraid of the bad influence. As long as there is no ghost in your heart, what are you afraid of?
It is purely because there is no silver here, but its essence is actually discrimination against women.
Among the mayor and nine deputy mayors, there is only one female deputy mayor, and the comprehensive mayor serves her everywhere. The female deputy mayor is in charge of the city's public security, procuratorial and judicial system. She is very majestic. If she can become a secretary, she might be able to serve as director of the Political Department of the Municipal Public Security Bureau when she leaves her in the future. Coincidentally, there are no female comrades everywhere. The former secretary is just over the expiration. The female mayor needs to be equipped with a secretary. He is selected in several comprehensive offices. In theory, I am the most promising. The female mayor also likes me very much. Later, someone slandered that I am too beautiful and it damages the image of the leader. The female mayor looks average, but has a very temperamental demeanor.
I have too many competitors and my background is too complicated. People like me who have neither roots nor branches are occupied by an ugly girl from the General Office 5. This is the only opportunity for me to become the mayor's secretary, just because I am too beautiful. Is it guilty to be beautiful?
Now I have no chance. My husband can’t count on it, and my parents can’t count on it. I can only rely on myself.
I have two major resources. The first is that I am beautiful, and the second is that I have a good foreign language. Goethe said well: Which boy doesn’t love him?Which girl doesn’t have spring?If you want to make good use of these two resources to change my future, you can only rely on love.
Later, I went to the department-level cadre class for training in the Municipal Administrative College. At the opening ceremony, the leaders of the school spoke. I appreciated the respect of Chen Haisheng's wife Li Shufen for the first time.
Li Shufen is the vice dean of the Municipal Administrative Academy. My feeling is just one word: ugly!
This greatly increased my confidence in winning.
After the training, as soon as I returned to the General Office, Jia Qinghua gave me a task and went to Deputy Mayor Chen's office to help Deputy Mayor Chen sort out the photos. This was a god-given opportunity, and my heart suddenly jumped up.
All along, my life has been like a pool of stagnant water, not even a slight ripples. I like changing destiny. Only change can stimulate enough, and only change can bring freedom. But my current life is like a filing cabinet in the corner and will never change. But after all, I am not a filing cabinet, I am a human, a living beautiful woman!
Human nature is highly dynamic, and its depth contains the movement of fire.
I'm going to be in a storm movement now.
I can't stand the life like a stagnant pool of water in my ears. I want to throw a big rock into the water to find me around me. I am a flower, a flower that can decorate the world.
Dostoevsky believed that beauty saved the world, and for him, nothing was higher than beauty.
I don’t have the ambition to save the world, nor do I have that ability, but I can save a man, of course I don’t refer to Mu Jingyu. Mu Jingyu is no longer saved, of course I don’t refer to Han Chuyan, because he is too far away from me. I haven’t thought about whether it’s Wen Changxia, but there is someone I’ve saved, and this is Chen Haisheng.
I want to rescue him from his ugly wife and use my love to let him understand that there is always a kind of power in this world that can make him cry, and this is my love.
When I walked into Chen Haisheng's office, he was sitting on the sofa holding a photo in his hand. There were several drawers of photos stacked on the coffee table, and there were more than a dozen new albums next to it. It seemed that my task was to put these photos into the album.
I shouted respectfully: Mayor Chen!
Chen Haisheng reluctantly woke up from his memories, with a sweet smile on his face. When he saw me standing in front of him, his eyes lit up, he quickly asked me to sit down. There was no city leader's attitude towards his subordinates. He was approachable, kind and kind, and also had the joy of having a long drought.
I felt a little embarrassed by his lustful gaze. I made up my mind and sat beside him boldly and asked: Mayor Chen, I was fascinated by all the photos. Could it be that I had a good time?
If it were Han Chuyan, I would never dare to tease him with such words.
Beibei, Chen Haisheng’s eyes looked at me very vividly. Do you know what it means to be a good person?I think that only friendship is true love in the world, marriage is just routine. Any love limited by rules, responsibilities and obligations cannot be considered true love, it is routine.
Unexpectedly, Chen Haisheng would be so open in his heart, so I took the opportunity to test: Maybe the relationship is just Eurydick.
Chen Haisheng asked in confusion: What does it mean?
I smiled charmingly and explained: In Greek mythology, the poet and singer Orpheus went to the underworld to find his dead wife. He moved Queen Ming with the sound of the piano. Queen Ming asked him to take his wife back to the world, but the condition was that he was not allowed to look back on the road. When Orpheus was almost at the ground, he couldn't help but look back at his wife, and his wife was taken back to the underworld.
After hearing this, Chen Haisheng sighed: This is very similar to Faust and Helen, but I still appreciate what Faust said to Helen: Don’t think about this unique destiny!Existence is an obligation, even if it is only a moment.
This sentence comes to my heart. My dream is to be Yang Guifei, even if I am sentenced to death on Maweipo in the future.
So I stared at him and said: Maybe it was the tip of the knife in a moment!
Chen Haisheng smiled and said: I just like the tip of the knife. I have been waiting for the tip of the knife for a long time. Beibei, do you have the courage to make the tip of the knife?
This clearly shows me. I thought to myself, since you like the tip of a knife, I will pierce your heart and see if you know if you feel sorry for it?
Mayor Chen, I boldly approached him and said warmly, aren’t you afraid of being bitten by a snake?
Beibei, Chen Haisheng gasped and said, "Is it a snake from the Garden of Eden?"Don’t forget that it instigated humans to steal the forbidden fruit. Little baby, be my forbidden fruit, I can’t wait!
After Chen Haisheng said that, he hugged me in his arms, and in this way, I became the forbidden fruit he ate.
In order to realize my queen dream, I finally took the first step, and I was very excited about it.
I long to dig into the depths of love, to the depths of night, until I dive into Chen Haisheng's heart, I want to sleep in his heart, I want to get up in his heart, I live in his heart, kiss his heart every day.
As soon as Chen Haisheng took office, he focused on investment promotion with great fanfare. After the city-wide investment promotion mobilization meeting was held, a series of large-scale investment promotion activities were held, and foreign businessmen from all over the country came in a flood.
I feel that even though Chen Haisheng is bound by a black hat, he still can't stop his handsomeness. I dare to conclude that if Chen Haisheng does not work in politics, but becomes an actor, he must be a love affair.
I originally thought that after following Chen Haisheng, I would get everything I wanted, but so far I haven't even gotten a full-time researcher.
I have told him more than once, and he was vague. I knew that what he wanted was a woman, not a female civil servant. It seemed that he had achieved his goal after getting me, but he didn't even have any!
I decided to give him some color. Since raw rice is made into cooked rice, he should be allowed to eat the rice. He has to eat it even if he doesn't. Anyway, cooked rice cannot become raw rice.
So Chen Haisheng and I had a more private meeting. The most exciting time was when I went to deliver documents to him a few days ago. Without saying a word, he hugged me on his boss's stand. He could have been on the sofa or at his rest room. There was a single bed in it, which was specially for him to take a lunch break, but he did it too many times in those two places and was not exciting enough. Chen Haisheng was very good at renovating things in this regard.
I once hoped that I would change my style and become a man and taste the taste of women. But just thinking about it, it is not only women who can enjoy women, but women can still enjoy men. Every time I make Chen Haisheng soft and fascinated.
In terms of courage, Chen Haisheng is not Mu Jingyu's figure. It's a pity that if Mu Jingyu can be as hard as his cock in his career and give his woman a glory, why should I exchange it with my body!
Although Mu Jingyu couldn't stand up in his career, he was masculine and often went to the gym to exercise and was covered in lumps. Chen Haisheng and I have always done a very secret thing, because once he knew, he was not a fuel-efficient lamp.
What puzzles me over the years is that although Mu Jingyu is extremely brave in bed, I can never get pregnant. A man of such a strong person is actually very stingy. If we have a child, I might become the best mother, but Mu Jingyu won’t even give me my dream of being a mother!
Destiny is so autocratic!
But not long after, gradually, Chen Haisheng met with American merchants in the foreign guest room, but did not use me as a translator, but used the translator from the Municipal Foreign Affairs Office. When Wang Haihong accompanied the meeting, he was a little puzzled because I always used me as the translator when Chen Haisheng met with foreign guests. After he came back, he asked me why. I just smiled indifferently, but I suddenly became alert. I guess Chen Haisheng had begun to enter the stage of getting rid of me.
Sure enough, Chen Haisheng didn't look for me when he met with foreign guests several times. However, when Han Chuyan met with foreign guests, he asked his secretary to come to me. I almost became Han Chuyan's full-time translator.
I have always wanted to find an opportunity to question Chen Haisheng, but he has been going to Shenzhen frequently recently, and after he came back, he was so busy that he was nowhere to be seen. I have never found a suitable opportunity.
I was in panic, but what can I do if I am a weak woman?
I have never felt so powerless.
I knelt down and licked Chen Haisheng at all costs. Finally, when Chen Haisheng went to Shenzhen, he informed me to go to Shenzhen in advance and wait for him quietly.
From Shenzhen to Macau, I spent a few ridiculous days.
In Macau, after Chen Haisheng left the hotel every day, he asked me to wait for him in the hotel room. Every time he came back, I was simply his sex slave.
What's even more ridiculous is that Wen Changxia also joined. I never thought that Wen Changxia, a pig-like man, would have such a big cock, and it was even more brave than Mu Jingyu.
Wen Changxia’s private pet, the girl who seemed to be named Tong Jingjing, was like two sex slaves. I was enema by Tong Jingjing, and then my anus was filled with the semen of Chen Haisheng and Wen Changxia. I said countless words insulting Chen Haisheng under the thrusting of Chen Haisheng and Wen Changxia. In the end, I even seduced Sun Xiaokan with Tong Jingjing like a dog.
But I can see that Sun Xiaokan and Chen Haisheng are not the same kind of people.
Chen Haisheng said that he wanted to get Mu Jingyu to Haidong City as soon as possible to reunite you and your husband.
The implication of this sentence is very obvious. First, my relationship with him has been cut off from now on. The last bit of sexual value he has crazily squeezed me out of this past few days is proof; second, helping my husband to transfer it can also be regarded as giving me a reward and explanation.
These days, he has recorded a large number of photos and videos of me and got my most humble handle.
After returning from Shenzhen, I was completely disappointed and couldn't wait to take a short leave to go to the county to reunite with Mu Jingyu. I feel that the whole world is now full of shit, and only Mu Jingyu is the most stable.
The bad thing is that during the few days when Mu Jingyu and I were together, I had a pregnancy reaction myself. I felt nauseous and vomited when I woke up in the morning. Mu Jingyu suddenly became alert, but he did not show his voice. He also asked me with concern what was wrong. I covered up and said that he ate something that was not good last night and wanted to accompany me to the hospital. I said no, so he hurried to work.
I am pregnant, and I know it myself. It is not enough to transfer Mu Jingyu tightly. I asked Chen Haisheng to get real benefits when he sleeps. I want to use pregnancy to threaten him. At least I will solve the problem of the department-level researcher first. Before he and his ugly woman divorced, I will not have a baby for him. I am not that stupid. In fact, I can completely pretend to be pregnant and deceive him. However, since I married Mu Jingyu, I have been looking forward to getting pregnant every day, but I just can't get pregnant.
As a woman, I don’t even know what it feels like to be pregnant. Are you still a woman?
Besides, I’m still afraid of getting pregnant after I’ve been asleep?
Pregnancy is a touchstone to test whether a man has you in his heart.
However, for the sake of accuracy, I went to the city’s Maternity and Infant Hospital and ended up being two months pregnant.
I was walking and looking at the test sheet. Someone patted my shoulder. When I turned around, I almost scared. Mu Jingyu snatched the test sheet and took a closer look, then threw it hard on my face, squeezed out two words from the gap of my teeth: Shameless!Then he left.
I never expected Mu Jingyu to follow me, but I didn't notice it at all. I chased me out desperately, trying to catch up with Mu Jingyu and explain something, but the person was gone. I stood in front of the hospital door, thinking that what should come finally came. I took a taxi in a daze, and everywhere I asked Xie Weng for half a month off. Xie Weng agreed happily. I simply packed up the things I had and left the three places in the comprehensive.I walked to Chen Haisheng's office and pushed it. The door was locked. Damn it, I had such a big deal that I couldn't even see his figure.So I called Jia Qinghua to cell phone and asked him where Chen Haisheng was. I wanted to see him. Jia Qinghua teased: Xu Xiaobei, who do you think you are? If you want to see Mayor Chen, see Mayor Chen?I was on fire and said: Jia Qinghua, tell Chen Haisheng, aunt, I'm pregnant!Jia Qinghua suddenly burst into laughter and said viciously: Is it a good thing Wen Changxia did?I suddenly became angry and shouted: Jia Qinghua... Before I finished speaking, Jia Qinghua hung up his phone.
I didn't go home right away, but wandered around the street with a tumultuous aura. I was like a lost lamb, looking for the sheep pen around my soul. My heart was in a mess. I felt that it was not scary for Chen Haisheng to hide from me, and it was not scary for Jia Qinghua to insult me. The most terrible thing was that Mu Jingyu knew everything. The damn Mu Jingyu actually followed me like a spy and actually called me shameless.
When he proposed to me, he kept assured me that I would become the happiest wife in the world.
No bullshit, husband is not expensive, how can a wife be happy?
A man who cannot do it is shameless. If you cuckold you, you are anxious. Tell you that a mediocre man should be cuckold!
While I was thinking wildly, I remembered the sentence at the beginning of "Lolita": Lolita is the light of my life, the fire of desire, and also my sin and my soul.I originally wanted to be Mu Jingyu's light of life and fire of desire, but he could not ignite me no matter what, so I began to look for a man who could ignite me. But I found that no matter whether it is light or fire, it was something similar to darkness. Chen Haisheng's handsome and full of power-hungry face flashed in my mind from time to time. I realized in pain that once a person is occupied by desire, no exorcism can drive it away. I felt a little cold, and I felt that the dead bookstore was like a cold grave. My destination should not be a grave, it should be a sheep pen.
I raised my head on the street, and the sunlight pierced, piercing my body like a cold arrow.
It was time to show off with Mu Jingyu, but Mu Jingyu did not go home and his phone was not turned on. I waited for him at home all night, and I was not sleepy at all during this night.
It started to rain heavily outside at dawn, and Mu Jingyu returned home like a chicken. I don’t know what he did outside this night. After getting married, although he sometimes went home in the middle of the night, he never stayed at night. It didn’t seem like he was wandering around all night. I had no intention of asking him why he didn’t go home all night, but instead spread the “Divorce Agreement” written in advance in front of him and said coldly: Sign!
Mu Jingyu looked at the Divorce Agreement with contempt, and then said coldly: Xu Xiaobei, your dream is too heavy, and it is time to wake up. Don’t think that divorce can be settled. I advise you to think about it carefully before talking.
I said without hesitation: Sign, I have already thought about it!
Mu Jingyu said coldly: You have thought about it, I haven’t thought about it yet, please avoid it. I have urgent matters and don’t have time to waste time with you!As he said that, he reached out and pushed me away, until he took out a file bag from the drawer of the desk in the study and put it in the briefcase, turned around and left.
I stepped forward to stop him and shouted: Mu Jingyu, why don’t you sign?
Mu Jingyu smiled coldly and said: Xu Xiaobei, I think you have water in your head!After saying that, he slammed the door and left.
I couldn't help it anymore and shouted hysterically: I see that you not only have water in your head, but also have urine and shit!Whose men are not upright? There is no more unreliable man like you in the world. You are worthy of being a man!
My shouts must have heard them, but Mu Jingyu didn't. He flashed like a ghost and disappeared. I felt very painful in my heart, like a piece of lead blocking, which made me breathless. I thought to myself, I would meet Chen Haisheng no matter what. I believe that Jia Qinghua had told him about my pregnancy, but Chen Haisheng did not call me. My heart became more and more panicked. I knew very well that threatening Chen Haisheng was to be a fire, and might burn me to death, but I couldn't get anything. I made up my mind, took an umbrella and left home, and went to the General Office of the Municipal Government in the rain.
I walked straight to Chen Haisheng's office door, and the two doors were still closed tightly. I had to hide in the corner of the corridor to call Jia Qinghua. Jia Qinghua asked me angrily what happened?
I asked calmly, when will Chen Haisheng be back?
He said coldly, and there was nothing to tell.
I knew Chen Haisheng was hiding from me, so I closed my phone angrily.
As soon as I closed my phone, the message prompt sounded. When I opened it, I saw a joke sent by Jia Qinghua: Miss Bai Luobo is trying hard to lose weight and is as thin as a bone. Her mother said dissatisfiedly: Who will marry you if she is so thin?
‘White Radish said disdainfully: Baijiu is staring at me every day, always wanting to soak me, and even calling me ginseng!’ Jia Qinghua was clearly insulting me, and my lungs were almost irritated. I wanted to call back his cell phone. My cell phone was out of power. The more I thought about it, the more cowardly I became. If my husband was even a mayor secretary like Sun Xiaokan, or even a young man, if my husband was a boss like Wen Changxia, or if I could get a job with a half-time position, why would I suffer from the anger of a villain like Jia Qinghua?
The more I thought about it, the more frustrated I returned to the place without reason, picked up the phone and called Mu Jingyu. Everyone in the place was there, looking at me like kangaroos. I scolded Mu Jingyu on the phone and told him that I was divorced. Xie Wen waved his hand and asked everyone in the place to go out. He walked up to me to comfort me, but he didn't seem to know what to say, so he had to shake his head and go out.
I angrily dropped the phone and felt a huge grievance surged in my heart. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was living like a ragged rag. I knew that Chen Haisheng and I were over. In order not to worsen the situation and save my job, I had to abolish the child. I made up my mind and left the three places.
I took a taxi to the hospital in the rain and endured huge pain and had an abortion. I didn’t go home, but took a taxi to my mother’s house.
I turned off my phone and blocked all Mu Jingyu's social accounts, including WeChat. I rested at my mother's house for half a month. During this period, only Mu Jingyu called my mother's house twice, and my mother answered the phone.
The first time was when he asked about my physical condition, the second time was when he informed that he had resigned and was going to work in a company in Shenzhen. He also said that he had signed the "Divorce Agreement". After I learned the news, I threw myself into my mother's arms and cried bitterly.
Half a month later, I returned home. There was indeed a signed "Divorce Agreement" on the coffee table in the living room. Mu Jingyu also left me a letter. I took out the letter from the envelope with trembling hands. The letter was neatly written: Beibei, marrying me will make you wronged. If you can't give you happiness, then give you freedom.However, I still want to tell you as my brother: We live by life, not by identity and status!
Nonsense, who doesn’t know that life is the most precious thing? The problem is that without identity, no value, and no status, what is the meaning of life?
Especially for women, how can they be noble without identity or value?
Which woman doesn’t want to be a noble woman?
It’s good to break up, I just want to use breakup to dictatorship on him. Since love has been distorted by life, let’s live in a skewed way. Anyway, the wrong things will still be right as long as they are skewed.
However, even the burning ashes will have a warmth when you put your hands in. Moreover, we have lived together for years, and I held Mu Jingyu's breakup letter and rolled down with tears.
Roman.
Roland said, I got rid of others, I got rid of myself, and my heart was free.
At this moment, although I broke up with Mu Jingyu, I didn’t feel free in my heart. Why?
Why?
I suddenly realized that I should have a break with Chen Haisheng. Since you were hiding from me and couldn't contact anything on phone, text, WeChat, I had to write a letter to you. I decided to write a letter to Chen Haisheng to explain the pain I suffered for him clearly. Whether you give me or not, it's all over the place.
I, Xu Xiaobei, are not golden phoenixes, but you, Chen Haisheng, are by no means sycamore trees. From then on, I will walk my way and cross your bridge.
After I finished writing this letter, I felt a little relieved.
During this period, I was under too much mental pressure and I could hardly hold on. Perhaps what Mu Jingyu said makes sense. If life does not exist, how can I have identity and value?
I got up at five o'clock the next morning, and after a simple meal, I took a taxi to the city government.
In the morning, the girls in the official class cleaned the mayor's office and had to finish cleaning before the mayors went to work. I wanted to take this opportunity to put the letter on Chen Haisheng's desk so that I could avoid Jia Qinghua.
It was exactly seven o'clock when I arrived at the city government. The corridor of the general office was very quiet. The doors were open in each mayor's office, and the buzz of the vacuum cleaner sounded from time to time.
I walked straight to Chen Haisheng's office, but the two doors were closed tightly. I pushed it gently and the door opened. I flashed into the room. When I entered Chen Haisheng's office, I had to pass through Jia Qinghua's office. Jia Qinghua and Chen Haisheng's office were inside and outside. What puzzled me was that the door in the inner room was also closed. Could it be that someone?
I thought to myself, who else can there be except the girls in the official class?
Neither Chen Haisheng nor Jia Qinghua came so early. There were ten girls in the official class, each of whom was in charge of a mayor's office. Every morning, these girls were all technical secondary school students who graduated from tourism vocational schools. I think since the door of Chen Haisheng's office was open, the girl in the official class who was specifically responsible for Chen Haisheng's office must be there, so she pushed open the door gently. Sure enough, there was a girl, but a girl I didn't know was sneaking through the waste paper in the trash can, as if she was looking for something.
I immediately became alert and asked with a tense face: Who are you?Why haven't I seen you before?The girl was looking for something attentively, but she was startled by me, but she quickly calmed down and said with a smile: It's Sister Beibei, you don't know me, I know you, the number one beauty in the General Office, I am Zhang Jiewen from the official class, newcomer, originally responsible for cleaning Mayor Liu's office, but Lin Doudou had something to do at home, so I had to do it for her.
I felt very happy when I heard her praise me as the number one beauty in the General Office, but Zhang Jiewen in front of me suddenly didn't look like that, but the more I looked, the more I looked, the more beautiful it was, which was no less than my appearance. So I asked jealously: Why did you become the one who cleaned Mayor Liu's office?
Zhang Jiewen smiled calmly and said: The person I used to be transferred to the canteen to sell meal tickets. Now I am in charge of Mayor Liu's room.
Thinking of her sneaky look just now, I asked unhappily: What were you looking for just now?Before Zhang Jiewen could answer, Zhang Zhixin came in. Sister Beibei, why did you come so early?When Zhang Jiewen saw someone disconnecting from my question, she ignored me and picked up the vacuum cleaner to do work.
I hurriedly put the letter on Chen Haisheng's desk, then turned around and asked Zhang Zhixin: Zhixin, why did you come so early?Zhang Zhixin smiled and said: Brother Jia said his computer was not working, so he asked me to come over early to help him check.After saying that, he walked to Jia Qinghua's computer desk and turned on the computer. I was afraid that Zhang Zhixin would see my motivation to enter Chen Haisheng's office, so he said, "You should be busy, so he left Chen Haisheng's office."
The only person who cares about me the most seems to be Wen Changxia. After he learned about my divorce, he invited me to a meal with great sympathy.
At the dining table, I respected Wen Changxia with melancholy. After Wen Changxia drank it all, I put down the cup and asked thoughtfully: Beibei, have you and Mu Jingyu been with him for so many years, is he good at gambling?
I said disdainfully: He doesn't have that kind of courage. If he has the courage to bet, he wouldn't just be a small deputy section-level reserve and could only stay in the county.
No, Wen Changxia shook his head and said, "It seems that you don't really understand Mu Jingyu. Last week, I saw a person at the Macau Lisboa Casino, who looked like Mu Jingyu, wearing sunglasses. At first, I thought I had recognized the wrong person because he didn't wear glasses before. Later, he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. I decided it was Mu Jingyu, so I shouted and wanted to come forward to say hello to him. If I didn't shout, he left hurriedly.Beibei, this Mu Jingyu has only been away from you for a few days, how could he appear in Macau?Could he make a fortune and go to Macau to squander?
After Wen Changxia finished speaking like a storytelling, I was forced to burst into tears and said while laughing: Fatty, you must have recognized the wrong person.I have been married to Mu Jingyu for so many years, but I still don’t know him?If he wants to make a fortune, should I divorce him?!
Wen Changxia was a little disbelief and long. Waves waves waves sounded.
Then he slammed me indirectly for a while, but didn't ask for any information.
In fact, I was already very far apart from Mu Jingyu. He was just a lump of wood. I don’t believe that he would go to Macau. He didn’t have the capital or the courage.
Wen Changxia's words moved me deeply. After drinking and eating, Wen Changxia wanted to take me with a car, but I refused. I wanted to walk alone.
I have never been as calm and empty as I am today. I have always been unwilling to be calm and always wanted to create a destiny for myself, but my destiny seemed to be instructed by others like Chen Haisheng to bully weak women like me.
I hate fate, it is fate that gives the world to men and lets men rule women. I dare say that if this world can be ruled by women, it will definitely be much better, at least full of maternal love, and maternal love is the greatest.
However, women are not born to rule the world, women are born to rule men, and men are born to be born to women, so they must be ruled by women.
But this is not the case in reality. The reality is that women are born to be fun by men. There are two kinds of games for men. The first is power and the second is women.
Who created these two games?
Not a damn fate.
Fate also arranged for a woman to have an aunt who would visit her once a month. As long as a woman lives, she would bleed. This is the damn fate.
Since I had an abortion, something seemed to have gone wrong in my body, or something had grown. I came here for two days every week. I knew I should go to find a doctor, but I am looking for a toilet now, because shortly after the miscarriage, the damn aunt came again. Fortunately, I brought sanitary napkins.
It started drizzling from the sky, and then I took a taxi. At this time, the rain was getting heavier and heavier, and I was like a awake body... I know from now on, no matter whether my situation is good or bad, it will be just a desolate existence. In fact, existence is life, and life is existence.
Damn life, damn existence!
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