Chapter 50 Humiliation Memories

At this time, after fully understanding everything at that time and the hearts of every participant, I couldn't help but slap myself hard, because before Xiaoxin took out the knife, it was me, the person she wanted to protect the most. She was so despicable that she secretly sent a text message to A Tao, revealing Xiaoxin's plan, which not only allowed A Tao to avoid potential conflicts, but also had time to think about the subsequent remediation plan, which also led to Xiaoxin's subsequent fall into the tiger's mouth.

It was during this time when I was at a loss that he calmly told his support Yiyi, which made me realize that my plan had completely failed. My heart sank again, as if I was really powerless to turn things around. But at this moment, the man asked me to spend a month in exchange for the video and photos.

The so-called one month is actually in the next month. As long as he wants to fuck me, I must appear and be his venting tool at any time to satisfy his desires. He will keep his mouth shut about this matter and return all the photos and videos in a month, and will never disturb your life.

If it were before, I would never agree to such a request. But at that time, I was at the end of my life. His condition undoubtedly gave me a last straw. Although this straw was covered with spikes, no one could erase its life-saving effect. Therefore, I could only give up all plans and agreed to his conditions with a desperate attitude.

Of course, in addition to being mentally coerced, I vaguely felt as if my body was also eager to make such a decision, but I couldn't help but feel ashamed of my lewdness. But since I had agreed to his conditions, I had to act as agreed.

In order to satisfy the desires of the body or to realize the hope in my heart, in short, it was that night that I lay under him again, letting his hot and thick penis fit into my vagina again. His things were very big, stuffing me full. My lower body was so swollen, but I was very satisfied. With his thrusting, every cell in my vagina could fully feel the pleasure brought by friction.

While I was satisfied, I felt that it was insulted. I never thought of it. No matter what, I would never think of it. One day, I would take the initiative to lie on the bed of a strange man who had no love for him, and even asked him to enjoy my body.

But he seems to be no stranger to me. His magical fingers can always find the sensitive area on me at the first time and caress it, so that my body can enter a state in a very short time. The pleasure quickly erodes into the brain, allowing the original humiliation and betrayal of you to be slowly eroded, leaving only the pursuit of the peak of sex.

Under his all-round attack, I was quickly killed and lost my armor. I forgot the reserve of persistence. Not only did I scream and speak loudly, but I even prayed that he would work harder and give me greater satisfaction. At the same time, I also took the initiative to swing my body, cooperated with his lust and cater to his thrust. It seemed that time had not passed long. I was on his bed and handed over my feedback after I got it for the first time

I remember when we were having sex with you, we were always able to reach the peak. At that time, I felt very satisfied, but when I had already had an orgasm, he did not stop the army because of this, but instead took advantage of the victory and pursued it again.

Because I was in the bathroom before, I was confused and just woke up, and I fell into the fear of being raped, so I didn't feel much. But this time, I found that after the climax, I was still fucked. The pleasure that came again was enough to make me crazy

That night, he was fucked twice in his bed, and he finally ejaculated with semen during my second orgasm. Fortunately, he was quite trustworthy and also brought a condom this time. But before ejaculation, he slapped my butt hard for his perverted hobby. It should have hurt a lot, but for some reason, I was at the time of orgasm, but because of the pain, I felt even greater pleasure.

Haha... Maybe I am born a lewd and perverted slut, but I feel satisfied with the man's abuse. Although I was very excited at the time, after I enjoyed the afterglow of the climax, the scorching stinging feeling from my buttocks suddenly made me wake up. How could I feel satisfied for the pleasure this man gave me? You know, it was him who ruined my whole life.

So when he leaned over again, I immediately shouted and stopped him, then quickly picked up the clothes that were thrown everywhere, rushed into the bathroom, put them in, and then left his home

After leaving the door, it was getting dark and my butt was still hurting. I could only walk to the dormitory alone. Looking at the couples laughing and playing on the road, I felt so pitiful. I was just like a prostitute who had just finished business, with traces of sex left in my lower body, and I dragged my tired body back to the dormitory.

The next few meetings were indeed like they were being sought out by someone. They came to the door as promised, went to bed, were stripped naked, and let others gallop during that month. I remember you had also looked for me several times, and with the number of times he called him to the house, I can't remember the specific numbers, but I can be sure that I had nearly half a month that month, and I was lying on the bed and being fucked by a man every night.

Sometimes, he might have just found me the night before, and you pulled me to the hotel the next night. When your penis was inserted into my vagina, I thought that less than 24 hours ago, another penis had been penetrated by a penis. I felt sorry for you, but the two different penis visited each other for a short time, which inevitably made me compare. To be honest, he really has more capital than you.

Speaking of this, Xiaoxin looked at me again, her eyes full of pity. Although I knew that I deliberately relaxed my control over myself and let myself get things done in a hurry in order to make Xiaoxin fall deeper and deeper, but now, being pointed out by my girlfriend in person, I still blushed. Just as I was about to refute a few words, Xiaoxin continued to speak on her own.

After comparison, I got such a result. Although I was ashamed of my dirty thoughts, I couldn't control my physical desires. When I was called by him a few times later, I became more open and more cooperative with him. Even the hatred for him in my mind was not as profound as before.

I must admit that in just one month, after less than ten sex journeys, my health was almost successfully guided by him.

Fortunately, although my body was almost out of control, my brain was still awake. I did not forget to have a one-month appointment with him. When the month expired, I walked into his door again and saw that he had prepared the data card as agreed. I finally breathed a sigh of relief and even developed a touch of affection for him. No matter what, he was at least a trustworthy person.

Of course, you can also say that I am too heartless. I will feel good about a perverted man who raped me and played with me for more than a month. Although I felt it was inexplicable later, this feeling was real at that time.

After being pulled onto the bed again and being sent to orgasm twice, I finally got the unbearable data card full of me. I was finally able to get rid of it. When he finally proposed to be an ordinary friend with me, I had a little affection for him. I suddenly stagnated. My reason told me to refuse, but my trembling body hinted that it was no big deal if I was a friend.

After struggling, I still had no choice but to escape silently and I picked up a brick, smashed the data card, threw it into the garbage incinerator, and then walked towards the dormitory.

For a while later, I tried hard to restrain the physical changes of my body's extreme sensitivity and desire after a month of high-density and high-intensity sex.

This kind of endurance is tormenting. With the average sexual nourishment of two days, and the long-term lack of sexual activities, I toss and turn every night. The only one who can help me in this situation is you, my beloved boyfriend.

So I didn't care about my own reserve and hinted and invited you out many times, but you were addicted to online games and ignored me. This made me full of desire and was hit again

I can't tell you my changes, I can only endure them myself and I can understand you. In order to get rid of that person during that time, I did neglect you. Even if I go out with you, I will be perfunctory. So if you are addicted to games, I have a certain responsibility.

Fortunately, the subsequent final exams relieved my pressure. I could only transform my desires that I had nowhere to vent and became the motivation for learning. I prepared for the exam seriously to distract myself.

After successfully passing the final exam, I thought I had already passed the most difficult period, but my body honestly told me that it was not, but my desires were slowly accumulating due to long-term depression and rising.

In desperation, I can only send you hints and invitations again, hoping to go out with you, and then have a few intense sex sweetly together. One is to compensate you for being neglected for so long, and the other is to release your long-suppressed desires.

I don’t know if you still remember that during the summer vacation last year, I called you one day and said that I wanted to go out with you, but you were absent-minded because a friend there was playing games with you, and later hung up my phone directly?

That time made me very wronged. I did ignore you because of some things, but you couldn't just hang up the phone. Ah, I thought about what I had experienced in the past month. That night, I lay in the quilt and cried a lot, and then fell asleep drowsyly

Maybe the desire in my heart is really too strong. This night, my dream was filled with a naked man, pressing on me, and then moving up and down. I vaguely felt that the man was having sex with me, but I didn't feel like his penis rubbing against my vagina.

The man's face was blurry, and I felt vaguely behind the fog, but sometimes it turned into that person. As the man kept thrusting, the itching in my lower body became more and more unbearable.

I woke up slowly when I couldn't bear it anymore

After discovering that the erotic scene was just a dream, I couldn't help but sigh, ashamed of myself for having a spring dream. When I thought of the scene in the dream, I suddenly felt that my lower body was itchy. This feeling was exactly the same as the feeling in my dream. It turns out that the reason why it was so irritating in my dream is that in reality, my lower body had already become a disaster.

I had to call you again, trying to test your voice indirectly, but your absent-mindedness once again made me feel very heartbroken, so we started arguing on the phone and then we parted in disagreement.

I was helpless and could not bear it anymore. I could only put my hand into my underwear, gently pressed it with my fingertips, and even had a small head out of my fingertips with uneven fingerprints on the little bean, scratching my delicate clitoris. Without the thick penis inserted into my vagina to solve my physiological needs, I could only use this method to get rid of my own predicament.

I don't know how you guys are. When you masturbate, will you show all kinds of wonderful ideas in your mind, and sometimes you even have some perverted sexual behaviors. Although you know that the consequences of doing that will be bad, during the period of masturbation, you feel that desire and hope dreams come true, but after ejaculation, you feel that everything is meaningless. In short, I was like this at that time

After my fingers pressed on my clitoris and began to caress, my body arched tightly together, trembling all over my body. Many scenes in my mind inevitably appeared in my dreams. Slowly, these scenes began to be covered by the joys of that man every time in that month.

Then, a crazy idea came into my mind. I wanted to call him, maybe just listen to his voice. I didn't miss him, but just wanted to make the picture in my mind more realistic and solve my urgent needs now.

This thought kept circling in my mind, and I could not make up my mind. However, as my fingers that massaged my clitoris moved faster and faster, I finally couldn't bear it anymore, picked up my phone and dialed a number

When the phone was connected, I suddenly felt a little regretful, but the sound from the receiver really made the picture in my mind clearer, and it became real that my hand, which was still inserted into my underwear, moved faster.

The other side of the phone kept asking me what was wrong, but at that time I was confused and didn't know what to say, so I had to say that I wanted to go to his city for two days and asked him what good recommendations he had. Of course, my question immediately puzzled him. He was very surprised by a person who should have hated him to the core, and now he actually said he was going to play with him.

He began to briefly introduce the situation there for no reason, but I stopped talking, but listened to his voice, recalled the previous scene, and felt the pleasure of coming here, and until I felt the climax was coming.

I understand my situation. Once the climax comes, I will definitely be unable to control my voice anymore. In a panic, I can only say to the phone: I'll be there the day after tomorrow!

After that, I quickly hung up and down. At the same time, my body began to move up and down greatly with the movement of my fingers. I could no longer control my throat and started to moan. Then my whole body twitched, and my climax came.

After the orgasm, I felt tired, but fortunately, because I was masturbating, I didn’t spend much energy. At this time, I could still move gently, so I enjoyed the afterglow of the climax and booked a ticket for the third day with my laptop beside the bed.

Looking at the page of successful payment on the computer screen, I felt a little regret in my heart and became hesitant. I didn't know whether it was right or wrong to do this. My heart and body gave me two completely different answers, and I began to sway.

My mind was very confused at that time. I didn't know what to do next. I hated myself for such a thought, and I hated myself for such a move. I was a little angry and locked my computer on it, then hid my head in the quilt, got angry with myself, but I didn't get the air ticket back the first time.

I was in a very bad mood for the next two days. I knew what I might face this time. And unlike before, there was no coercive relationship between us this time, but I delivered it to my door. Then I would face a more humiliating treatment. But whenever I think of a possible situation, my body would subconsciously react lewdly.

Gradually, I began to doubt myself, is it that I am a lewd woman at all? I feel pleasure when I am raped, I will actively cooperate when I am coerced, and when I am not taking care of me, I will take the initiative to throw myself into my arms. Is this really me? Where did my reserve, my dignity, and my self-love go? Are these all pretending to be me? Has my performance even deceived myself?

Until the night before departure, I couldn't help but feel entangled and longing in my heart, and called you again, but when the phone was connected, I suddenly realized what I should say? Ask you whether you love games or me? This question is not necessary. I know you have always loved me, but it is because of my neglect that you are addicted to games. I should be sorry for this.

Then what should I say? I called the phone, so I couldn't keep talking. In a hurry, I subconsciously said nonsense. I remember asking if you were still playing games? Right? Actually, I regretted it after saying this. According to the situation at that time, this was clearly a sentence that was about finding trouble and quarreling. As expected, your indifferent answer confirmed my worries.

But although your voice was cold, my heart beat suddenly. The voice and tone were very harsh, but it made me feel relieved. It calmed my heart that had been entangled for several days. It was a sense of familiarity and dependence that surpassed love, like family affection. At that moment, I suddenly had a thought, can a person's heart and body be nostalgic for two people?

This thought shocked me. I quickly wanted to throw it away, but I didn't expect that it would sway in front of my eyes like a shadow, making me unable to stop since I couldn't forget it, then I could only choose to temporarily suppress it in my heart.

Our phone still ended in a bad mood, but I didn't have time to worry about our relationship anymore. I just sat there quietly, suppressing the dirty thoughts in my heart. In the midst of the complex emotions, I finally decided to go out for a walk. Going to that person's city does not mean that I will get into that person's bed. I just want to change the environment and think carefully about our future

So I sent you another text message before I got into bed lonely and fell asleep in my random thoughts.

After hearing this, my face was filled with surprise. This was not pretending, but really surprised. I always thought that Xiaoxin went to look for A Tao that time because she couldn't stand the emptiness of her lower body, so she went to send her pussy for thousands of miles.

It turned out that she blamed me for being addicted to games because of her crazy thinking. She felt that it was her own fault, so she was willing to fall into depravity and had the idea of ​​separation of spirit and flesh.

I have to sigh again at Xiaoxin's kindness and blame everything on myself. In her mind, she is always a betrayer, a sinner, or even a slut, but I, the culprit, have become the victim in her mind

Although her ideas make sense from the situation she has mastered, many people often do not mind using some far-fetched excuses to splash dirty water on others to show their purity and nobility in order to protect themselves.

But Xiaoxin never thought so from beginning to end

At this moment, Xiao Xin's image became taller, but I seemed smaller and smaller. I felt like I was pricked by a needle all over my body. My heart seemed to be tightly held by a strong hand, and I could not beat happily anymore. My face seemed to be held with a soldering iron, burning repeatedly, and even my throat was pinched tightly, unable to make a sound or breathe

Fortunately, Xiaoxin, who was addicted to memories, did not notice anything strange about me.

That night, I fell asleep in a daze, woke up in a daze, and then tossed and turned and couldn't sleep, until the ink-colored sky outside slowly turned white

A few hours later, I boarded the plane to the city where the person was. Although I was somewhat mentally prepared, I never thought that this trip would make me fall into the abyss in one step.

The flight time for dozens of minutes was very short, so short that I had not adjusted my emotions and followed the flow of people out in a daze. The distance was very far, and I was slightly stunned when I saw the man waving his hands. Although I had guessed that he would come to pick him up, I did not tell him which class I was on, which only means that he had been waiting there since the previous flight arrived. I was a little moved by this.

Watching him walk slowly, I was still nervous and I took my luggage and led the way silently. I, who was not familiar with the place, could only be silent, followed behind and got into the taxi.

The taxi drove directly to the hotel he booked, but I wanted to go out and look for it. It was not until he said he had paid and was close to many attractions that I agreed. He asked me why I went there. Of course, I would not tell him about this, saying that I was overwhelmed with spring and went to him for physical comfort. But as he had already thought about it, he said that I had been there after being released by my classmates.

Regarding this, I had to express my contempt for Xiaoxin in my mind during the gap between her words. She learned bad things and even knew that she would think of lies in advance. Not only did she deceive A Tao, but she also lied to me. I remember that I also found a lot of evidence to prove Xiaoxin's remarks. Now that I think about it, I am really SB!

After that, I checked in the hotel arranged by A Tao, but I still gave him the money. I couldn't make him feel that I owe him, and he also acted very well on the day he owed him. This made me feel a little more at ease and full of longing for the subsequent games.

The next morning, I wanted to go out for a walk, but as soon as I got downstairs, I saw him. He must have been waiting there for a long time, so I could only walk out without a glance. He followed up with his attitude at that time, and he even said openly that he would not do anything excessive. In addition, I was not familiar with the place there, so I just pushed it and got into his car half-heartedly.

He was a little tired from the first two days of travel, but he was quite happy. He was still a person who kept his promises. During these two days, he really took me around and often played guest roles. The most important thing about telling me the story of every scenic spot is that there is no unreasonable action.

On the first night, he sent me back downstairs of the hotel and drove away directly. The next day we had dinner together, and he still went back directly. He never made an excuse to go upstairs, and of course I wouldn't invite him.

But this situation changed on the third day. Because A Tao was very disciplined and gentlemanly the previous two days. In addition to our frequent contacts in those two days, my inner desire began to revive, so my vigilance against him gradually faded. That night when he asked to drink some wine to relieve fatigue, I agreed in a daze.

You know my alcohol tolerance. I felt dizzy if I didn't drink much. He didn't force me to drink. After seeing me saying I couldn't drink, I didn't persuade me to drink anymore. Actually, I had already drunk a little too much at that time, but I still held on and showed a sober look. We got up and left the hotel and walked towards the hotel. But not long after I left the hotel, I felt dizzy and my head was a little bit silenced.

In a daze, my only feeling was that I walked from the dark place to a bright place, and then another dim road. Then it was pitch black in front of me. Fortunately, the darkness disappeared soon, and replaced by another orange-yellow light. Later I realized that it was the light in the hotel room, which was turned on by him.

The sudden change in light made me feel confused and finally woke up a little. I also realized that I had returned to the hotel room, but why was there one more person in my room? I couldn't help but shake my head in a panic, making my brain clearer. Then I looked at him carefully. He was standing in the small corridor of the room, looking at me and smiling.

That was a very shallow smile. If it was in the spring of Mingmèi, it would be a very charming smile. But for some reason, when I saw it in that situation, I felt that it was full of lust, and I became nervous because of this.

I had to ask him to leave quickly, but at this time, he took off the gentleman mask he had been holding for the past few days, and began to make excuses to stay. He even mentioned many details of that month many times.

This made me even more nervous, and I was more eager to let him leave, but his words seemed to be carrying a drill, drilling directly from my cochlea, awakening the memories I had finally buried deep, those humiliating memories, and even though I was disgusted with that unbearable time, I had to admit that he did arouse my desire.

Just when I was addicted to memories, he suddenly rushed over and kissed me. I did not adjust my emotions in time and bring myself back to reality. Instead, I kissed him for no reason. At that time, I was like a traveler who had been cut off from water in the desert for many days and saw the water again, asking for it wildly regardless of it.

I have forgotten how long we kissed, but I just vaguely felt that there was a strong hand holding my chest. I like my soft breasts, which constantly changed into various shapes while rubbing hard. The pleasure brought by the strong squeeze made me crazy than touching myself

Fortunately, the sudden fierce attack made me wake up again. I secretly hated myself for being so slutty. I shamelessly kissed a man who was not my boyfriend in the hotel room and was playing with his breasts. Although in the previous month, he stroked almost every inch of my skin countless times, and was a little angry. I quickly pushed him away.

Afterwards, I was ashamed and had to run into the toilet quickly. I was very regretful when I sat on the toilet. I hated myself for being shameless, I hated myself for being shameless, and I hated myself for being shameless in his words. However, I regretted it, and my lower body was indeed left with obscene liquid.

Sitting there with my head in my arms, I cried. It was strange, how could I still have the face to cry? Isn’t this all my fault? I could have stayed away from that demon, but I was delivered to the door like a slut. I could have lived my life happily again, but I was shameless and went thousands of miles to pursue the beast that would ruin my life at any time.

Tears crossed my cheeks, but they could not wash away my dirty soul and body. A bitch who was already dominated and controlled by desire, was ridiculously pretending to be reserved. At that moment, I suddenly wanted to look at my face and see what I could interpret the hypocritical appearance.

I slowly stood up and turned to look at myself in the mirror. Although I only put on light makeup, under the erosion of tears, I was already unrecognizable at this time. But I didn't mind that at that time. I stared at myself in the mirror, as if my eyes could pass through the blurred and chaotic makeup, and looked directly at the face hidden behind. My eyes went from confusion to condense, then sharp, and finally angry.

I suddenly raised my hand and tugged it hard on my face. At the same time, I told myself that you deserve it. You are just a bitch, a bitch in a pure cloak. No matter how you disguise it, it cannot cover up your inner lust.

At that moment, I hated myself more than ever. I slapped more than a dozen times in the face, but I didn't feel any pain at all. Instead, I felt that the slap was still lighter.

My brain became even more crazy when I slapped myself in the face. At that time, another voice appeared in my mind, which was in sharp contrast to the voice that blamed myself before.

I'm not slutty, I just wanted to come out to relax. It's not my fault. I've tried very hard to get back all the mistakes. Today's unbearable is the effect of alcohol, and I can't blame me completely

The two voices rebuked each other, and I stopped the movements in my hand, because now the pain in my brain has overwhelmed the pain caused by the slap. I was swaying in the two voices, feeling like I was as big as a fight, and I tried hard to find the truth in the two arguments, but gradually I felt that I had already leaned towards the latter. Later, I thought about it carefully. That tendency was not actually an agreement, but an excuse for myself.

When people face choices, they often seek benefits and avoid harm. For me at that time, pushing all the mistakes on alcohol can greatly avoid the fact that I am lewd, and at least make me feel better and don’t have to bear self-abuse slap attacks.

As a thoughtful human being, after choosing a tendency, I often ignore how unreliable this argument is. Instead, I found a lot of evidence to prove this argument from my heart. At that time, I was the same. After confirming that everything tonight was the fault of alcohol, I began to look for various reasons to excuse myself in my heart until I truly believe in all this. This may be the starting point for me to make mistakes again and again.

This is not my fault, it is alcohol! It is alcohol that made me fall into a confusion, relaxed my vigilance, and also helped my desire. Until now, my mind was still confused. It is the best proof. So I quickly turned on the faucet and washed my face a few times. When my palms stroked my cheeks, the pain followed, which made me feel a little clear, but it was only a little bit. Obviously, the effect of washing my face was like a cup of water truck.

How can it be more effective? That person is outside, and the space I can move around is the small area of ​​the bathroom. After looking around, I had to lock my eyes on the shower head until that moment I was still deceiving myself to find excuses for my debauchery, believing that it was simply because of the effect of alcohol that made me act so unbearable, and tried hard to avoid the fact that I was debauchery.

Thinking of a solution, it seemed as if I had found a way out. I couldn't wait to stand under the shower, and opened the faucet vigorously, let the water drip happily on the clothes, and then slowly penetrated into my skin, washing my body. At that time, I was immersed in the dead end of being relieved as soon as possible, and completely forgot that when I first came in, I didn't lock the door. This should be my second mistake.

When the water flowed and wet my body, my alcoholic spirit disappeared a lot, and my brain slowly calmed down. I felt complacent that the point of view I chose was extremely correct. Since my brain has recovered from sane, should I think about how to drive that person away?

That person was outside at this time, what was he doing? I remember the first time he raped me in the bathroom. The experience made me think of it now. I felt a little suffocated. After he used photos and videos to coerce me, playing with me for another month. Those unbearable scenes kept appearing. I suddenly realized that my body was wet again. The secreted liquid had melted into the water and covered my lower body.

Although I am reluctant to admit it, my current desire is really high, and it is really a fire that will burn Ah I think of facing that person later. I don’t know what he has prepared to deal with me. I can’t help but start to hate the lust of my body again. Of course, in my subconscious, the body is the body, and the thought is the thought.

With such a lustful body, as long as that person uses a little trick, I am afraid I will have to be obedient and obedient. What should I do if I have a long-term suppressed desire, now it is like a explosive pack. Long-term compression and refining makes it more dangerous. Continuing it will only make it more purity, and it seems to have been stuck to my body, unable to be removed, and it follows like a shadow.

With the impact of the water flow, my mind became clearer. Since it could not be removed, in order to prevent people outside from succeeding, I just need to ignite him in advance. When desire drifts away with the wind, even if he has a lot of tricks, I can keep my changes unsuspecting.