Chapter 9 Self-discovery

I have been asked several times how I got involved in bondage, pain, and eventually into a submissive relationship that completely surrenders myself under my master's control

So, here are some of my memories and reviews

In the final analysis, there is no reason

There are no inducing events, nor any special perversion caused by abuse of parents

But the desire for certain feelings is getting stronger and stronger, and more eager

My earliest memory of bondage was when I was very young; before I started dating any boys

I am a virgin. Although I have rich experiences of being secretly in love and being secretly in love, I am far from reaching the level of sexual activity.

Yes, I've developed well, with thriving breasts and overall woman's shape, with long black hair, and even considered a bit slutty by the kids in the school (they're jealous, mostly)

I'll explain it too

At this time in my life, I didn't even know that bundling and SM existed as a hobby

I have never seen any pictures, read any stories, never talked about it, nor knew it was a kind of emotional activity that anyone would engage in

My family lives in a half new house and has a very large room

We only entertain guests from our hometown by chance, so the other half of the guest room is specially used to store a lot of daily garbage

It was there, one day I found some ropes

A long and soft rope

I closed the door after I went in. It was night outside, it was very dark and quiet

A light bulb illuminates the messy interior

I remember sitting on the floor in jeans playing with knots

In order to give the rope a good position, I wrapped the rope around my ankle and practiced tying various knots.

Twisty and trying to get out, I found it easy to get freedom by loosening the knot or stretching the rope

So I wrapped the rope tightly around my ankle for a few more times, providing a stronger foundation, and trying different knotting techniques

I'm totally innocent about knotting, thinking while tying

There was a time when I wrapped the rope around my ankle and knee, tied a knot at my ankle, and was studying the knot at my knee, the most terrifying sound came - the door handle of the door was twisted, and after a moment, the spring squeaked and the door slowly opened

I sat on the ground half-tied, trying desperately to untie the knot, the door opened, and my brother walked in

My cheeks were so hot that the rope was quickly untied

What are you doing? My brother is watching me at no cost and he doesn't care so much about what my sister is doing

Uh, I just feel bored and want to see if I can tie a few knots what you are doing here, pervert?

That's it

I don't remember the conversation afterwards. I completely forgot what happened afterwards, but no matter what it was, it was very inconspicuous and passed quickly.

The only thing that impressed me was that when my legs were tied tightly like this, I felt

I have a desire to see if I can really tie myself up more completely and truly limit my entire body

This desire is not pure, it is a dark thing. I vaguely know that it will not be accepted by normal people, nor will it be understood and indulged.

When I was discovered by others, I felt instinctively ashamed.

And, when I feel my legs are bound and restricted, the feeling makes me feel very novel and excited

What's even more strange is the excitement after being discovered. The humiliation my brother brought to me when he came in was like a huge adrenaline brushing my body, which still makes me remember it fresh.

I didn't realize it was a sexual stimulation

Playing with ropes and being found playing with ropes was a huge impulse for me and made the whole experience evocative and exciting

But I'm not stupid. I know that if I want to do this again and be discovered again, it may cause trouble and interference.

For example, my parents would know that I might be questioned, or punished, or scolded

So, next time I'll be more careful

This means waiting until no one disturbs me, it takes care to plan the time

Finally, when my parents visited my grandparents in the afternoon, my brother was already attending some of his extracurricular activities.

I had the chance to stay alone for a few hours

I never found it strange at the time, maybe it wouldn't be strange now considering my lifestyle, but for weeks I've been waiting for an opportunity to try to tie myself up again

Over the past few weeks, I have thought about various reasons why I feel that bonding is easy to get out of, and how to improve it

I also imagined how to extend the length of the rope and how long it was to tie it

The idea that my legs and arms were tied attracted me and made me excited, and it was also part of my schedule that afternoon.

This time I locked the door of the guest room. If someone comes home early, it is easier to explain why I lock the door inside than to explain why I am tied up like a chicken.

Sitting on the ground holding the rope, I started

Circle the rope, then wrap it around my ankle, and then put the rope back a few times, and it formed a very tight strap with 8 loops of rope on the ankle.

I twisted for a while and found it became looser and tighter, until it hurts a little

The pain feels satisfying because I know the rope is tight enough that it won't fall off

I didn't realize this, but the pain also gave me an adrenaline injection, which enhanced my experience. The pain was subconsciously accepted by me at that time, and has continued to be accepted since then, becoming part of my bundled experience

Slide the two strands of ropes and then wrap around the knees, I did the same loop, threaded and tightened

I tied it up, sat for a while, focusing on the helplessness of my legs

This satisfied me very much

Feeling good, in the weirdest way, I can't explain

But that's not enough

I need more

My legs were unable to move. I rolled around the ground to see how much room there was to move, but the rest of my body was free, and I could feel how this weakened the entire experience

Obviously something is wrong

I need to tie my wrist

Sitting on the floor, my legs and knees bent, so I sat a little tilted, I tied my wrists to the front

That's very difficult

Really, it's very difficult

You need at least one free hand to tie the knot

I managed to wrap the rope around my wrist and pull it tight, but knotting is impossible

I simply wrapped the rope around ten circles, passed it as much as possible, and decided that this was enough

It was uncomfortable to sit with my legs tied up, so I lay down and my hands were tied to help. This experience was getting closer and closer to what I knew deep down: being tied and helpless

However, the goal has not been achieved completely

I sat up and tried to tie my hands back again

This is much better, the feeling of helplessness becomes stronger, and I start to get excited

This is the first time I realize that being bound and helpless is a sexual stimulation to me, which doesn't seem surprising, because I'm still exploring and discovering my sexual desires, everything seems novel and exciting

I lay on the floor for a while, feeling the experience of being falsely bound. My legs are safe, but my wrists are an illusion I can stand for for a while, but the experience is not complete

Overall, I spent about 2 hours in the room trying to make the rope tighter and the knot safer, actually trying to tie a good knot on my wrist so I can't twist it out casually

The whole experience was very exciting, exciting and tempting for me

When I was tied, I actually spent some time putting the handle of the broom between my legs (I was still wearing jeans at the time) and letting it rub

Once I got it between my legs and extended it over, pressed against my crotch, my hands tied behind me, grabbed it, and managed to move it back and forth

The whole experiment becomes more and more a sexual exploration

I realized that I didn't know how much time passed and I needed to stop. I broke free from the rope on my wrist and untied the rope on my legs.

The clock inside the house shows that I have about an hour left, but it's a good, safe stop time

One thing that is clear from this experience

I'm excited about being restricted and want to try again

Want to try again, want to

It's also very clear that this is a sex thing, and I will spend more time studying how to add this part to the next play

And definitely sure, I'll play it again

*** ***

More self-discovery

My first attempt at binding myself was not ideal, because I never really realized the complete helplessness.

At that time, I thought it was impossible, but I felt that I wanted to do it.

I started daydreaming, dreaming that I could not escape the way I was tied up

I did some research and played with knots when I have time

My parents and brother are usually at home and I can’t do anything with them, but I actually learned something in my room

Later one day, my parents and brother went out and would not come back until supper time

I have four hours to play alone, and I am ready.

My parents left and told me to be safe at home

I was 16 years old at that time and was a first-year high school student. Although I was still a virgin, I had a natural tendency to explore sexually. At this time, I wanted to see my ability alone

This time, before I started, I took off my clothes

The previous experience was very exciting, which made me very excited and excited

I want to experience it again

The naked state greatly increased my sense of boldness, but also made me feel vulnerable and excited

Before I took off my underwear, my legs were soaked

I touched my clitoris with my hands, and I rubbed it for a while, just feeling the feeling of being completely naked in the room and the stimulation of the senses I expected to be bound.

I start with my ankle

This is an easy decision

But this time, before I tied my ankles, I crossed my ankles with a rope, and crossed my ankles with a rope

This will not only disperse my legs, but also tie me up tightly

I tested the binding method and made sure it was tied very firmly. Then I played for a while, masturbated for a while, and brought the wetness on my fingers to my nipples.

Then, I took a few pairs of underwear from the laundry basket

They are not dirty, but they are not new either

I put them in my mouth and pushed the cloth deep into the cavity of my left cheek, then in the center of my tongue, and then to my right cheek

This is far from enough

I felt that the gag was not thorough, so I got up again to find the cloth

Then I fell because my ankle was tied

A story

Instead of untiing and re-tiing my ankles, I dragged myself to my laundry basket and sorted out the right clothes

I only found one pair of sports socks

I simply considered whether to stuff them into my mouth and decided that this was all I could do

Put the underwear in again, and I stuffed it in with the socks

After finishing my cheeks were bulging and my tongue was pushed to the bottom and back. My mouth was so full

I dragged my body back to the desk, where there were some large silver tape that I took out from my dad's toolbox

The cloth has been coming out

I stuffed it back and started wrapping my big, plump mouth with tape

My hair was tied into a ponytail, so it wasn't difficult to wrap the tape around my head and around my mouth several times.

After about 3 laps, I felt very safe, so I stopped and considered the next move

That mask is very strong and effective

I can't make too loud noises

I sat on the floor, spread my knees and masturbated again

The helplessness I wanted was coming, making me excited, I moved my fingers on my body, pushing and sliding on my clitoris

My nipples are hard

I pinched them and felt waves of pleasure and excitement

I pinched them harder and felt a little pain, which only made me more excited

At this moment, I had another idea

My mouth was tightly blocked and my ankles were tied, so I dragged myself into the bathroom next to my room

There I found a basket containing what I wanted - clothespins

I grabbed a handful of things and dragged myself back to the room

I was scratched by the floor and realized that I was not fully prepared as I imagined

Even so, it's time to start acting

Holding a clothespin in my hand, I pulled an erect nipples to the maximum massage, and then placed the clip on it

I let out a muffled cry when the spring pressed against the sensitive body and closed! It hurts much more than I thought it would have been

I quickly removed the clip and when it fell off, I called again

Wow, very intense

But I want it, desperately

I feel weirder, but I'm already hot and excited, I can endure the pain

I put the clip back on the left nipple, which made me frown. I waited for a while before massaging the right breast, pulled out the nipple and clamped it.

Damn it hurts but strangely, when I sat there and felt the pain, the pain seemed to weaken. Although it was painful, I could bear it

I took a rope from the table and got it down

Its method is learned after a little research

This is a way to tie my wrist by using a knot that has been tied and then tighten the ring.

I've figured out how to tighten the rope ring on my wrist

Of course, the other end of the rope will go around my ankle! They will naturally tighten the circles

One end of the rope goes around my ankle

It's ring-shaped, not tied

I pulled it, making sure it was tightly placed on my ankle, and removed a pre-tied rope on the floor next to me

This is a special treatment I am proud of. I have played it before and I got it done in one go

It is a method of binding the number 8, with two circles at both ends and a rope wrapped around the middle

If pulled, the circles will tighten, although not a lot, because I haven't completely done this part yet

I stretched my arms behind my back and put each rope loop on one of my hands

By pushing and rolling the ropes are wrapped higher, I managed to get them wrapped around my elbows, so my arms can bear the maximum, I relaxed, and experienced the ropes that tied my elbows and tightly surrounded my arms

My elbow is about 30 cm behind me now

I've been lying there for a while

My hands are still free, but the straps on my elbows have restricted me, a lot

My breathing was fast and shallow, on the one hand, it was because I had put a lot of effort into tying the rope to my elbow, and on the other hand, it was because I was so excited

I want to orgasm, but it's impossible to touch my clitoris

It's time to take the last step

I lie on my side, trying to bend my knees as much as possible

The rope around my ankle and ends in the wrist ring is too short and I need to get my feet up further

I twisted to the point where I could press my knees on the table for support and then bent my back so that my hands could reach all the way to my feet

I grabbed the ring rope cover (one on each wrist and a knot in the middle) and tried to put my wrist in it

It was already very difficult to tie myself up, and I finally relaxed

As I relaxed, my legs moved a few centimeters away from my wrist and tightened the rope strap.

Ah! I felt it immediately

The rope surrounds my wrists, and my body naturally pulls my legs apart and keeps tightly bound.

Wow, it feels so good

I'm helpless

I lay on my side, panting

I have successfully put myself in a rather tight, tight four-horse bondage without realizing it

Feeling wonderful

I twisted my body, all I did was to make the rope tighter

I turned over and lay on the bed, feeling my legs drooping, my arms pulled back and my shoulders raised up

I'm an inverted curve, either my shoulders are pulled back or my legs are pushed up

The clothespins on my nipples continued to hurt, but they were not as severe as they were when I first got them.

The pain of flesh, I realized for the first time that my self-restraint stopped my pain

My wrists and hands were bound by tight ropes, and my blood flow was blocked, which was very painful.

I forced myself to retreat, trying to relieve some tension, but I didn't relieve it

I turned over again, considering my own predicament

I was lying naked on the floor of the room

My breasts are protruding in front of me, and there are clothespins on my nipples

My wrists were effectively tied to my ankles, and my ankles were tied again, forcing my knees to separate and expose my vagina

I did better than I thought

I struggled for a while, and continued to struggle

My bundle is complete

I'm safe, it's really hard to get out of here

The ropes at the elbow were my surprise; effectively preventing me from moving my wrists to reach the limit

I had no room for bargaining, and I began to wonder how I would get out of it

OK, I get it

It's Ah, I was 16 years old at the time, very naive

I may have prepared for this game, for a safe self-restraint link, but I didn't think far enough to make sure I could get out of the situation

Panic rippled across my body, I began to struggle and twist

I saw the clock

It has been two hours since then, and my parents will come home in two hours and find me here!

I don't know what to do

All kinds of excuses ran through my mind and explained

A gangster rapist broke into the house and tied me up

That's it, I can explain it like this

It's just that the house was locked from the inside, and there was no breaking into the door.

Then what should I do?

The rope is tight, I twisted my hands and tried to break free

My chin was stretched wide and it hurts; I bit my underwear and socks, which helped a little.

My nipples were burned by deep pain and turned into numbness

My legs were cramping. When I was cramping, I automatically wanted to straighten my legs, which pulled the wrists back until my hands hurt. It was very serious

I started crying

I want to scream

No, this mask is a good thing

It covers the sound

Finally, I stopped

It's time to realistic and think

There is only one way out I can think of. Although the chance is slim, I must try it

I have to take a knife from the kitchen and cut myself apart

If you have ever sat on a four-horse, you will know that traveling on a four-horse is not easy

A small movement is a matter of effort

The most effective way to move is to roll to one side, scoop forward with your legs and then roll to the other side, and so on

When I entered the hall, I tried to roll all the way to my back

It was embarrassing. My body arched, pushed my hips into the air, and my legs spread out, as if we were welcoming a man to fuck me.

Progress is very slow, and each movement makes the rope tighter

After about half an hour, after walking for half a day, my right breast clip was worn off and I screamed in pain.

I didn't know that taking off the clip would be more painful than wearing it. I lay on the carpet in the hall, sobbing at the mask, then pressing down another breast and twisting until the clip also fell off.

I called again, and then began to twist in the hall and walk towards the kitchen

In the kitchen, I encountered a problem

The knife is placed in the knife block on the counter

The counter is about one meter taller than me

I lay there and cried as I watched the knife. Tears flowed down my face and flowed onto my self-proclaimed tape

There is a footstool in the corner

That's the only option

I slowly twisted my body and walked over in pain

When I got there, I pushed it with my head, pushing it a few centimeters at a time

It finally walked to the counter

My whole body is in pain and cramps

It hurts so much

My left leg cramps and my shoulders hurt.

My chin was blocked and it hurts

I twisted my body and felt the wetness between my legs, which meant that I was still very excited

It was then, at that moment, that I decided that I needed a boyfriend to help me

I don't want to tie myself up anymore

I need a man there to control me

This makes sense

I want to feel helpless, I am surprised how hungry I am to be tied up like this, but I also know that I need to surrender to others, not just tie myself up

Strangely, this idea inspired me and I began the task of getting my body to climb the first level of the stool.

My breasts were placed on the first step and were displayed flat

The metal edge of the steps scratched my ribs, and I twisted and climbed up a few centimeters, leaning against the steps

I pushed my body up inch by inch by step

Thank goodness, there is a board on the top, next to it is a knife block

I pushed it with my head and the knife slid down

I pushed and operated until the knife fell from the counter to the ground, making a loud noise

I literally fell off the stairs and landed on the ground next to the knife

I took a hand in my numbness and started to saw

The clock on the wall said I have 10 minutes left

I saw faster

it's useless

I only got the minimum amount of rope separation

At this rate, it will take an hour

I touched it, touched the knife, and finally found a knife

That's easier to use

The rope begins to wear and stretch

I saw it hard, but due to limited movement, I couldn't see it very effectively

Suddenly, my legs straightened

The rope from the ankle to the wrist has moved aside and I no longer bend backwards

I let out a muffled cry, then started to cry, and the spasm rolled in my naked body again

When the ropes on my wrists are cut from my ankles, I can freely work them

Then I could roll and move the elbows and finally untie my ankles

When the mask was taken off, it hurt like a cock, and the tape took some hair on the back of my neck.

When the underwear and socks come out, I'm free

Parents are 10 minutes late

I put the remaining rope, tape and mask together and limped back to my room

I hid the remnants of my bondage, lay on the bed, spread my legs, and began to masturbate wildly

I had an orgasm in less than a minute, and then I lay on the bed panting and recovered my strength.

When my parents came home a few minutes later, I was taking a shower and I was covered in scars and had some minor scratches, but it was not affected by being tied up.

Since then I have known more clearly what I want, and I also know that I need someone to play with me so that I can get what I want